How To Tell If You Have Work Related Anxiety

As therapists in Cincinnati that help working adults, we often work with clients who struggle with anxiety at work. It’s important to know that anxiety can show up in various ways and impact someone’s ability to perform well at work. With many people returning to the office after working remotely during COVID, people are reporting more anxiety at work as they get used to a new routine. If you're unsure whether anxiety is holding you back at work, here are some signs to look out for: 

Procrastination and Avoidance

If you find yourself constantly putting off tasks or avoiding them altogether, this could be a sign of anxiety. The fear of failure or making mistakes can be paralyzing and cause individuals to procrastinate or avoid work-related tasks. 

Difficulty Concentrating

Anxiety can make it difficult to focus and concentrate on work-related tasks. Racing thoughts, worry, and fear can all contribute to difficulty focusing and distractibility. 

Physical Symptoms

Anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms such as sweating, rapid heartbeat, trembling, or nausea. If you notice these symptoms at work, it could be a sign that anxiety is impacting your performance. 

Perfectionism

While striving for excellence is important, perfectionism can be harmful and contribute to anxiety. If you find yourself obsessing over every detail or feeling like nothing is ever good enough, this could be a sign that anxiety is holding you back at work. 

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is a common symptom of anxiety and can have a significant impact on self-esteem and confidence at work. If you find yourself constantly criticizing yourself or thinking negatively about your abilities, it could be a sign that anxiety is impacting your performance. 

So, what can you do if you suspect anxiety is holding you back at work? Here are some tips:

Identify the triggers

Try to identify what specifically is causing your anxiety at work. Is it a particular task or project? Is it interacting with a certain colleague or manager? Understanding what triggers your anxiety can help you come up with strategies to manage it.

Seek Professional Help

If you're struggling with anxiety at work, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can help you develop coping skills, identify triggers, and provide strategies to manage anxiety in the workplace.

 Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is essential to managing anxiety. This can include regular exercise, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. 

Set Realistic Goals

Setting realistic goals can help to alleviate the pressure and stress that can contribute to anxiety. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks, and celebrate your successes along the way. 

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Practice recognizing negative self-talk and challenging it with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself that making mistakes is a natural part of learning and growth. 

Use Mindfulness Techniques

Mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and visualization can help to calm the mind and reduce anxiety. These techniques can be practiced discreetly at work and can provide a quick way to alleviate anxiety symptoms.

Consider workplace accommodations

If your anxiety is impacting your ability to perform well at work, consider speaking to your manager about accommodations that can be made to support you. This could include changes to your work schedule, adjustments to your workload, or additional support and resources.  

Remember, everyone experiences anxiety differently, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's important to take the time to figure out what strategies work best for you and to seek support when needed. With the right support and tools, you can manage your anxiety and thrive in your professional life. 

In conclusion, if you suspect that anxiety is holding you back at work, it's important to seek professional help and practice self-care. Recognizing the signs of anxiety and taking steps to manage it can improve your overall well-being and enhance your ability to perform well at work. Remember, you're not alone, and with the right support, you can overcome anxiety and thrive in your professional life. As therapists in Cincinnati that specialize in helping people with anxiety, we can definitely help you feel less anxious at work and step more into feeling confident like you deserve.

What Is Parts Work, And Can It Be Used With EMDR?

As trauma therapists located here in Cincinnati, we often use Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to help individuals process traumatic experiences and heal from emotional distress. EMDR is a powerful therapeutic technique that helps people reprocess their traumatic memories, reducing the intensity of the distress associated with them.

People often ask about IFS/parts work, and if that type of therapy can be used with EMDR. As we will discuss, not only does parts work/IFS work well with EMDR, when you are working with a therapist who incorporates parts work/IFS into EMDR, it’s a sign that you are working with a therapist who has advanced training in EMDR and treating trauma.

Let’s first define what parts work and IFS is. Parts work is a broader approach to understanding the different parts of an individual's personality, while IFS is a specific therapeutic approach that focuses on working with the different parts to achieve greater self-awareness and healing.

While there are some differences between the 2 approaches, they both are based on the idea that individuals have different parts or aspects to their personality that represent different emotions or beliefs. This includes understanding how different parts relate to each other, how they affect behavior and emotions, and how they can be integrated. Parts work and IFS can help individuals understand and integrate these different aspects of themselves, leading to greater self-awareness and healing.

EMDR and parts work/IFS can work together in a number of ways. Here are some ways that we have found to be particularly effective:

Identifying And Naming Parts

During the preparation phase of EMDR therapy, we often ask our clients to identify the different parts of themselves that are involved in their trauma or emotional distress. For example, a client who has experienced childhood abuse may have a part that feels angry, a part that feels helpless, and a part that feels guilty. By identifying and naming these parts, clients can start to understand the different emotions and beliefs that are associated with their trauma. 

Mapping Out Parts

Once we have identified the different parts, we can then map them out to understand how they relate to each other. This mapping can be done visually, using diagrams or drawings, or verbally, by discussing the relationships between the different parts. Mapping out parts can help clients understand how their different emotions and beliefs are interconnected, and how they contribute to their current emotional distress. 

Working With Parts in EMDR Processing

During the processing phase of EMDR therapy, we can work with the different parts that have been identified and mapped out. For example, we might focus on a part that feels angry, and use EMDR techniques to help the client reprocess the traumatic memories associated with that anger. By working with individual parts, we can reduce the intensity of the emotional distress associated with each part, leading to greater overall healing.

Working With Blocking Parts

When we are helping a client who has severe or complex trauma, it’s very common that blocking parts show up. Blocking parts are parts that don’t want things to change, even though a person may want things to be different. A great example of this is anxiety. Often when we are working with someone who has trauma, there can be a part of them that is anxious but that part doesn’t want to step away and be quieter. This is true even though the person themselves may want to have less anxiety.

The reasons for why this part may not want to change can range from “I need to be able to protect her in case something bad happens again”, to “I’ve been here for so long I can’t imagine just stepping away and not being so loud”. If a therapist doesn’t know how to use parts work, the EMDR therapy may get stuck at this point. In our experience, this is a major reason why sometimes people come to us and tell us that the EMDR they did with a previous therapist didn’t work.  

Integrating Parts

Finally, in the integration phase of EMDR therapy, we work to integrate the different parts of the client's personality. This integration can involve identifying the strengths and positive aspects of each part, and helping clients understand how they can work together in a more balanced way. By integrating the different parts, clients can achieve a greater sense of wholeness and self-awareness.

Summary 

Overall, the combination of EMDR and parts work can be a powerful approach to healing emotional distress. By helping clients identify and understand their different parts, and using EMDR techniques to reprocess traumatic memories associated with each part, we can achieve deeper levels of healing and integration. If you are struggling with emotional distress or trauma, we encourage you to consider working with a mental health professional who is trained in EMDR and parts work. While there aren’t that many therapists in the Cincinnati area with this training, we at Therapy Cincinnati are fortunate to have 2 therapists with this specialized training. With the right therapist, you can heal from your past and move towards a more positive and fulfilling future.

Paying Attention To Our Child's Mental Health

As therapists in Cincinnati, we cannot stress enough the importance of paying attention to your child's mental health. While physical health is often given more attention, it is equally important to prioritize our mental and emotional wellbeing. As a parent or caregiver, you play a crucial role in your child's mental health. Here are some tips on how to be attentive to your child's mental health:  

Start with open communication

One of the most important things you can do is to establish open communication with your child. Create an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts with you. Encourage them to talk about how their day went, what they are feeling, and any worries or concerns they may have. Active listening is key - this means giving your child your undivided attention and responding empathetically to what they are saying. 

Observe your child's behavior

While communication is essential, children may not always feel comfortable talking about their emotions. That's why it's important to observe your child's behavior. Notice any changes in their mood, sleep patterns, eating habits, or academic performance. If you notice any sudden changes or prolonged negative behaviors, it may be a sign that your child is struggling and needs additional support.

While it's important to be attentive to your child's mental health, it's equally important to respect their privacy and autonomy. Avoid prying or being overly intrusive. Instead, try to create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. 

Encourage healthy habits

Encouraging healthy habits is another way to support your child's mental health. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and engaging in physical activity. Exercise has been shown to boost mood and reduce stress, so consider incorporating physical activities into your family's routine. Additionally, limit screen time and encourage activities that promote relaxation, such as mindfulness exercises or reading. 

Foster a sense of belonging

Children need to feel like they belong and are valued. Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities, hobbies, or sports teams that interest them. This can help them build friendships and develop a sense of purpose. Additionally, make sure your child feels heard and validated. Let them know that their thoughts and feelings matter. 

Seek professional help when needed

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children may need professional help. It's also important to be aware of risk factors for mental health issues such as a family history of mental health issues, a history of trauma or abuse, and chronic stress. If your child has any of these risk factors, it's important to be extra vigilant about their mental health.

Don't hesitate to seek out the support of a mental health professional if you notice persistent negative behaviors or if your child is struggling with a specific issue such as anxiety or depression. A therapists can provide assessment, therapy, and other interventions to help your child manage their emotions and improve their mental health. The good news is that you can find therapists who offer telehealth sessions as well as in person sessions, right here in Cincinnati. You can choose whichever format works best for you and your child.

Take care of yourself

As a caregiver, it's important to prioritize your own mental health as well. Make sure you are taking care of yourself by getting enough sleep, exercise, and social support. Avoid taking on too much and make time for relaxation and self-care. By taking care of your own mental health, you will be better equipped to support your child's mental health. 

It's important to remember that mental health is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process. Just like physical health, mental health requires ongoing attention and care. By creating a safe and supportive environment at home, monitoring for changes in behavior, and seeking professional help when necessary, you can help support your child's mental health. 

In conclusion, being attentive to your child's mental health is essential for their overall wellbeing. By establishing open communication, observing your child's behavior, encouraging healthy habits, fostering a sense of belonging, seeking professional help when needed, and taking care of yourself, you can help support your child's mental health. Remember, it's never too early or too late to start prioritizing mental health.

I Have Everything.....So Why Do I Feel Empty?

Have you ever felt like you have everything you could possibly want, yet you still feel a sense of sadness or emptiness? If so, you're not alone. Many people experience this feeling, and it's important to understand that it's a valid experience that deserves attention and care.

Before we delve into this topic, it’s vital to know that so many people who feel this way often struggle with guilt, as well as a feeling that there is something wrong with them for feeling this way. When people have everything they need and they look at how may people around them are struggling, guilt and shame for feeling this way often comes up. These feelings just make it harder to address the underlying feelings of emptiness and sadness that we are feeling, which is not fair to ourselves.

What’s important to know is that there is nothing bad about not feeling happy even when we have everything we need - we have been trained to think that having material resources equals happiness but that’s not true. Looking at it from this perspective, someone who is financially secure is as vulnerable to having feelings of sadness and emptiness as someone who struggles with the basics of surviving.

There are many reasons why someone may feel sad despite having everything they need materially. It could be due to a lack of emotional fulfillment, a sense of disconnection from loved ones, or even a deeper sense of purposelessness. These feelings can be challenging to confront, but it's important to address them in order to achieve a sense of peace and contentment.

One common cause of sadness despite material wealth is a lack of deeper connection with other people. This can occur when we don't feel valued or understood by others, or when we feel like we're not living up to our own expectations. Even if we have all the money and possessions we could ever want, we may still feel unfulfilled if we don't have meaningful connections with others.

If you're feeling this way, it may be helpful to explore your relationships with loved ones. Are there any underlying issues that need to be addressed? Are you spending enough quality time with the people who matter most to you? By focusing on building and maintaining strong, healthy relationships, you may find that your sense of emotional fulfillment increases.

Another possible reason why you may feel sad despite having everything is a sense of disconnection from your own identity or values. Sometimes, we may become so focused on achieving external success that we lose sight of who we are at our core. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and emptiness, even if we have everything we thought we wanted.

If you're feeling this way, it may be helpful to take some time to reflect on your values and priorities. What matters most to you in life? What are your passions and interests? By reconnecting with your own sense of identity and purpose, you may find that your sense of sadness begins to lift.

Another common cause why you may be feeling down is a lack of emotional fulfillment. Sometimes we might not dislike the things we do in our day too day routine, but we also may not love them either. Maybe at one point we did truly enjoy our day-to-day routine, but now it doesn’t bring us as much joy. These may be things like our job, our family, where we live, and even the more mundane tasks that we have to do.

Something else to consider is that these feelings may also be connected to a deeper feeling of depression. While many people who feel this way do not in fact have depression and my be mis-diagnosed with depression, it’s important to rule out depression when we are feeling this way.

It's also important to recognize that sometimes, there may not be an easily identifiable reason why we feel sad despite having everything we need. In these cases, it may be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional. A licensed therapists can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your feelings and identify strategies for managing them.

If you decide to seek support from a mental health professional, it's important to find someone who you feel comfortable talking to and who has experience working with clients who are experiencing similar feelings. You may want to ask for recommendations from friends or family members, or look for a therapist who specializes in treating depression or anxiety.

When looking for help from a therapist, it’s important to talk with whomever you are considering seeing ahead of time to see if they can help you. Some therapists are better at helping people explore symptoms that may not fit a box or label.  In particular, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who specializes in using more creative forms of therapy, such as art therapy, music therapy, or movement therapy. These forms of therapy, as well as the therapist who practices them, may make it easier for you to figure out why you are feeling the way you are.

In addition to seeking support from a mental health professional, there are also some steps you can take on your own to manage feelings of sadness. These may include:

Practicing mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you cultivate a greater sense of awareness and acceptance of your thoughts and feelings, which can be helpful when dealing with difficult emotions.

Engaging in self-care: Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can help you feel more grounded and centered. This may include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

Practicing gratitude: Focusing on the things you are grateful for in your life can help shift your perspective and increase your sense of happiness and contentment.

Seeking social support: Connecting with friends and loved ones can help you feel less alone and more supported.

Remember, feeling sad despite having everything is a very valid experience, and it's important to take steps to manage these feelings in order to achieve a greater sense of well-being. Whether you seek support from a mental health professional in Cincinnati or take steps on your own to manage your emotions, know that you are not alone and that help is always available.

What Are Signs of Helicopter Parenting?

Helicopter parenting is when moms and dads are very involved in their children's lives and tend to be overprotective. These parents might be too controlling and always want to know where their kids are, who they're with, and what they're doing. They might also try to solve every problem for their children and rescue them from difficult situations. Helicopter parents often want their children to do well, but they can sometimes do too much for them, which can prevent them from learning important life skills. In short, helicopter parenting is when parents are very protective and involved in their children's lives, sometimes to a fault.

So, what are the signs of helicopter parenting? Here are a few indicators to look out for:

Overprotectiveness 

Helicopter parents are moms and dads who are very protective of their children. They want to keep them safe from everything that might cause harm, even if it means not letting them do things that other kids do. Sometimes, they even try to solve every problem for their children and rescue them from challenging situations. This might seem like a good thing, but it can prevent kids from  growing up and becoming strong and independent adults.

Micromanaging

Helicopter parents may micromanage their children's schedules and activities. They may sign their children up for multiple after school activities or fill their schedules with back-to-back appointments. They may also obsess over their children's homework, school projects, and grades, and even complete the work for them. This can be overwhelming for children, and it can prevent them from exploring their interests and hobbies.

Lack of boundaries

Helicopter parents may struggle to establish healthy boundaries with their children. They may be too involved in their children's lives and have difficulty giving their children space to make their own decisions. They may also struggle to set limits on their children's behavior, which can lead to children feeling entitled and lacking in self-discipline.

Constant communication

Helicopter parents may have difficulty letting their children go, even as they grow older. They may insist on constant communication, texting or calling their children several times a day. This can be suffocating for children, and it can prevent them from developing independence and self-reliance.

Difficulty with transitions

Helicopter parents may struggle with letting their children experience natural transitions, such as starting school or moving away to college. They may struggle to let go of their children, and they may become overly involved in their children's lives during these transitions. This can prevent children from developing the skills they need to thrive independently.  

So, what are the consequences of helicopter parenting? Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Lack of independence

Children who are raised by helicopter parents may struggle to develop independence and self-reliance. They may have difficulty making decisions on their own, and they may lack the confidence to try new things.

Anxiety and depression

Helicopter parenting can also contribute to anxiety and depression in children. Children may feel overwhelmed by their parents' expectations and micromanaging, and they may struggle to find joy in their activities and hobbies.

Poor self-esteem

Helicopter parenting can also contribute to poor self-esteem in children. When parents solve every problem for their children and prevent them from experiencing failure, children may begin to doubt their abilities and feel incapable of handling challenges on their own.

Relationship problems

Helicopter parenting can also affect children's relationships with their peers and family members. Children may struggle to form healthy relationships, as they may lack the social skills and confidence needed to navigate social situations. 

Here are some things parents can do to avoid being "helicopter parents": 

Let your child be independent: It's good for your child to learn how to do things on their own. Let them make choices and give them some responsibilities. This can help them feel more confident.

Set boundaries: It's important to have rules and consequences for your child's behavior. Let them experience natural consequences, rather than trying to protect them from everything.

Take care of yourself: As a parent, it's easy to focus all your energy on your child, but it's important to take care of yourself too. Make sure to take breaks and do things you enjoy.

Don't over-schedule your child: Let your child have time to play and explore. This can help reduce stress for both you and your child.

Trust your child: It's important to trust your child's judgment and give them space to make mistakes and learn from them. 

Don't micromanage: It's okay to offer guidance and support, but try not to control every aspect of your child's life.

Be present but not overbearing: Be available to your child, but also give them space to learn and grow on their own.

Remember that being a parent is a journey, and it's okay to make mistakes. By encouraging independence, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care, you can help your child become a confident and capable adult.

What Are The Signs of Attachment Trauma?

As therapists in Cincinnati, we often work with clients who have experienced trauma in their lives, including attachment trauma. Let’s discuss what attachment trauma is, how to deal with it, and how to get help.

Attachment trauma is when someone important in your life, like a parent or caregiver, is not there for you in the way that you need them to be. This can happen in many ways. For example, if a parent is always busy, not around, or often doesn’t pay attention to their child, a child might feel like they don't matter to their parent, or that they are not “good enough” for their parent to love them. If a parent is often angry or violent, a child might feel like they have to always be careful to not make their parent mad. These experiences can cause attachment trauma by making it hard for this child to connect to people and form healthy connections when they get older.

Attachment trauma can have long-lasting effects on a person's mental health and relationships by making it hard to have healthy relationships and to feel good about yourself. Let’s discuss some signs of unhealed attachment trauma and what you can do if you recognize these signs in yourself or someone you know:  

Difficulty with Trust and Intimacy

One of the most common signs of unhealed attachment trauma is struggling with trusting people and getting close to them. This is because when someone important to you is not there for you, it can feel like no one will ever be there for you. This can make it hard to feel safe and to feel like you can rely on others. You may experience this as a fear of getting close to others, reluctance to share personal information, or feeling uncomfortable with physical touch. In addition, it may be hard to enjoy sex and it may feel like something you just have to get through.

If you find yourself struggling to create close relationships or have a history of sabotaging relationships, it may be a sign that you have unhealed attachment trauma. Working with a therapist can help you explore these patterns and develop strategies for building trust and intimacy in your relationships.

A Pattern of Toxic Relationships

Because there is a deep need for connection when someone has experienced attachment trauma,  it’s common for people to be in relationships that are toxic and unhealthy. Quite simply, the need for love and acceptance is often so strong that it’s hard to others to fully fill the void that the person with attachment trauma has. In addition, people with attachment trauma are often attracted to people who are not healthy and cannot give them the love and acceptance they so desperately crave. This makes their need for love even stronger and creates a cycle of hope and excitement, only to be followed and hurt and deep hurt. Why exactly this happens is beyond the scope of this blog post, but it’s a very common pattern.

If you have been in multiple relationships or friendships that have been unhealthy, it may be a good idea to reach out to a therapist and see why this is happening.

Fear of Abandonment

Another sign of attachment trauma is feeling scared that someone will leave you. You may feel anxious or panicked when a partner or friend is out of reach or worry that others will leave you if you don't do everything right. This fear can be so strong that it makes it hard to let yourself get close to anyone, and you might worry that if you get close to someone, they will eventually leave you. Because of this fear, some people tell themselves that they would rather just be by themselves instead of connecting to others.

If you struggle with this fear, it can be helpful to explore the underlying reasons for it. Often, this fear is rooted in past experiences of abandonment or loss. Working with a therapist can help you process these experiences and develop coping skills to manage your fears.

Difficulty with Emotion Regulation

Attachment trauma can also make it hard to control your feelings. When you have had experiences where you didn't feel safe or didn't have someone to talk to, it can be hard to know how to manage your emotions. You might feel like your emotions are out of control and that you can't calm down when you get upset.

If you find yourself struggling with these issues, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you develop skills for managing your emotions. This might include strategies for self-soothing, mindfulness practices, or learning how to express your emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

Negative Self-Image

Another sign of attachment trauma is thinking badly about yourself. When someone important in your life is not there for you, it can feel like there is something wrong with you or that you are unlovable. You might feel like you're not good enough or that you don't deserve good things. You may have a strong inner critic that constantly berates you and makes you feel bad about yourself. These feelings can be very strong and can make it hard to feel good about yourself.

If you struggle with negative self-image, it can be helpful to challenge these beliefs which are often rooted in past experiences. Working with a therapist can help you challenge these beliefs and develop a more positive self-image.

Difficulty with Boundaries

Finally, attachment trauma can make it hard to set boundaries with others. When you have had experiences where you didn't feel safe or didn't have someone to talk to, it can be hard to know how to say "no" to people or tell them when they've gone too far. This can lead to unhealthy relationships where you are taken advantage of, or don’t feel respected. This in turn can make it hard to have healthy relationships.

If you struggle with these issues, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you develop healthy boundaries. This might include strategies for setting limits, learning to say no, or exploring the underlying reasons for your difficulty with boundaries.

Can I Be Helped?

If you struggle with attachment trauma and live in the Cincinnati area, or Ohio in general, it can be lifechanging to work with a properly trained mental health professional. One of the most unfortunate parts about people with attachment trauma is that they have what we call “core negative beliefs” that influence how they feel about themselves and others. However, these beliefs are simply false. It’s a shame to live our lives based on these lies that we have learned to believe, and a trained therapist can help you take a better look at the thoughts that drive how you feel.

How Do I Find Help In Cincinnati?

While seeing a therapist for attachment trauma can quite simply help transform your life, it’s important to know how to find the help you need in the Cincinnati area. Being able to help people with attachment trauma requires specialized training, and so it’s important to ask any therapist that you are considering working with if they have training and experience in treating attachment trauma.

A good place to start is by looking for therapists in Cincinnati who are trained in treating trauma, including those that are trained in EMDR. While attachment trauma is a form of trauma and therefore not every trauma therapist has training in it, many trauma therapists do have training in treating attachment trauma. It’s important to mention as well that while we in Cincinnati have a lot of very talented therapists in the area, including trauma therapists, there are only a handful of therapists in Cincinnati who are trained in and have experience working with attachment trauma.

We at Therapy Cincinnati have lots of experience in treating attachment trauma, and we have several therapists who can help you heal and move forward. With the right support and tools, it is possible to move forward and build healthy, fulfilling relationships. Reach out today to get started with one of our therapists!

The Aftermath of Damar Hamlin

A few weeks ago, millions across the United States witnessed something traumatic - Damar Hamlin collapsing on the field during a Monday Night football game. For those of us living in the Cincinnati the potential trauma was even bigger, with some people witnessing the event live while at the game. Even for those not at the game, just knowing this happened at Paycor Stadium made the trauma that much more personal. This event highlighted the term “trauma” and made it more real to many people.

For many people, this may have been the first time they witnessed trauma. Everything at the game was going fine, and all of a sudden a player was critically ill and needing to be brought back to life. It brought out how fragile life is, and how things can change so fast.

For some people who have experienced trauma in other ways, witnessing what happened on Monday Night football was triggering to watch. However you have been feeling, we’ve outlined some key things you should know to help you process the aftereffects of witnessing trauma.

How to Deal with Witnessing Trauma

If you have witnessed trauma, coping with this can seem like an impossible task. However in many cases, there are several simple ways that can help you overcome this struggle. These include the following ideas:

-        Acknowledge the event. One common issue many people have with dealing with witnessed trauma is that they try to block it out and ignore it. However, doing so can simply allow the pain to fester at the back of your mind. Instead, acknowledge that the event happened; this can allow you to come to terms with it a little more easily.

-        Spend time with loved ones. After you have witnessed trauma, it can feel tempting to shut yourself away from the world for fear of getting hurt again. However, this can often do more harm than good. In fact, spending time with your friends, family members, and loved ones may help give you someone to talk to – and, critically, allow you to focus on something other than the traumatic event itself.

-        Stay away from unhealthy coping mechanisms. Many people turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and other such habits when trying to cope with witnessing trauma. However, while these may serve as a temporary distraction, they will usually do much more harm than good. With this in mind, try to avoid falling into these destructive behaviours and habits, where possible, to ensure that you don’t end up getting overburdened by the trauma you’ve experienced.

-        Talk to a therapist. Many people overlook the importance of speaking to a therapist after experiencing trauma. Even if you have only witnessed trauma second-hand, this can cause uncertainty , anxiety, and confusion. Getting professional support (if you need it) could definitely help take some of the pain away.

-        Look after yourself! As a final point, it’s well worth keeping in mind that looking after yourself is hugely important. Take time out to rest and recuperate. It can go a long way towards helping you cope with the pain and distress of witnessing trauma.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with witnessing trauma is never easy, but you can take several simple steps to make this easier to recover from. Hopefully, today’s guide will have given you a few ideas of possible steps you could take to deal with witnessing trauma in your own life, too.

With all that said, if you find yourself thinking about what happened and feel it’s affecting your day-to-day life, it may be time to reach out to a therapist. This is especially true the more time passes after that night. We at Therapy Cincinnati specialize in helping people who have experienced or witnessed trauma, so don’t push off reaching out for help.

Can EMDR Help If Therapy Hasn't Worked So Far?

More and more of us rely on therapy to help heal from past traumas and the like. However, if you have been struggling to see success with this, there are plenty of alternative options you could consider. Just one such option you could consider is EMDR – but what is EMDR, how does it work, and can it help people who have tried other types of therapy unsuccessfully?

What is EMDR?

What is EMDR? EMDR therapy uses eye movement desensitization and reprocessing techniques to help bring old memories to the forefront of our minds; these can often be long-since-buried memories that significantly influence our day-to-day lives.

During EMDR sessions, the therapist typically starts by taking the client’s history and preparing the client for the experience, which can be somewhat unusual. Then, during EMDR therapy, the therapist targets and processes target memories to help with recovery. From there, the therapist can begin working on treatment plans to help the patient heal from past traumas and move forward.

How EMDR is Helpful for People Who’ve Tried Other Therapies

EMDR is a relatively new form of therapy, and it works differently than other techniques, making it valuable in many scenarios. The basic idea is that instead of talking about feelings and experiences we have had, we allow our brain to reprocess events, which helps us heal and emotionally move on from what has happened.

While EMDR therapy does bring potentially painful memories into the forefront of people’s minds, it is nevertheless still effective. With EMDR therapy, you individually approach and reprocess past negative experiences. This makes them significantly easier to live with in the modern world.

EMDR is an excellent complementary therapy to integrate into your recovery. Whether you’re still sticking with your traditional healing mechanisms or if you have had poor results and want something different, EMDR could absolutely help. Because it targets the cause of distress at the source, it can even be effective for people who haven’t had good experiences with other types of therapy.

There are two main reasons why you might want to try EMDR in place of other therapies. These include:

-        Not all therapies are helpful for recovering from past therapies. Accordingly, if you have struggled in the past to overcome trauma, you may want to try EMDR.

-        In some cases, individuals may simply not see good results from a particular type of therapy. If you’ve been trying another form of therapy that you struggle to see results from generally, EMDR could be a valuable alternative approach.

Is EMDR Safe?

While EMDR can bring painful memories up, it’s nevertheless worth noting here that EMDR is typically very safe to use. Other than being a little distressing, EMDR therapy is a safe way to approach healing and recovery; if you have difficulties, EMDR might be the option you deserve. And don’t forget, EMDR is open to all patients suffering from a mental health condition.

When is EMDR Used?

EMDR is used generally when people are stuck in therapy, or when they have experienced something overwhelming and scary. With this in mind, EMDR is not exclusively limited to challenging or complex cases. In fact, EMDR is available for users facing all manner of different challenges, primarily those relating to past or childhood trauma.

EMDR offers a hugely valuable and exciting opportunity for people to boost their own recovery and happiness. Why not consider this for your own recovery efforts, too?

Final Thoughts

If you have been looking for someone to help with your own healing and recovery needs, EMDR from a local professional therapist could be just what you need. Luckily, we here at Therapy Cincinnati have had lots of experience helping people who have yet to see success through therapy. We have 3 EMDR therapists on our team, and we are proud to offer expert EMDR treatment that can help you heal. Reach out today to get started.

How To Respond When Someone Criticizes Your Parenting

As a parent, it can be hard to hear criticism about your parenting skills. Whether it’s from family, friends, or even strangers, criticism can leave you feeling defensive and frustrated. It’s important to remember that every parent is doing their best, and that criticism of your parenting isn’t always personal. So, we’ll discuss how to respond to criticism of your parenting in a respectful and effective way. 

· Thank Them for Their Feedback 

No matter how much you love and care for your children, it can be difficult to hear criticism about your parenting. It’s natural to feel defensive when someone criticizes your parenting style or choices. Before you react, take a deep breath and thank the person for their feedback. Acknowledging their opinion is important, and by expressing gratitude, you show that you’re willing to listen. 

Expressing gratitude also helps diffuse some of the tension of the situation. Letting the person know that you value their opinion can help create a more open dialogue between the two of you. Of course, you don’t have to agree with them, but thanking them for their feedback can help set the tone for a more positive and productive conversation. 

By thanking someone for their feedback, you’re showing that you’re open to hearing other perspectives. This can make them feel respected and appreciated, and it’s an important step in creating a constructive dialogue. Even if it’s difficult to do, expressing gratitude shows that you’re willing to consider other points of view, and this can ultimately lead to more understanding and compromise. 

· Acknowledge That They May Be Right 

It can be difficult to accept criticism, especially when it comes to something as personal as parenting. When someone criticizes your parenting, it’s important to recognize that they may have a point, even if it doesn’t necessarily fit your own view of the situation. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them, but acknowledging that they may be right shows that you are open to other perspectives. 

It’s also important to remember that this criticism could potentially be helpful. Even though it might not feel like it at the moment, taking a step back and objectively considering the other person’s opinion could lead to beneficial changes in your parenting. Rather than getting defensive or retaliating against the criticism, consider it as an opportunity for growth and development. 

No one is perfect, and parenting is often a trial and error process. Acknowledging that someone else may be right shows humility and maturity, which will ultimately benefit both you and your child. Don’t take criticism as an attack; instead, take it as a chance to learn something new. 

· Explain Your Parenting Style

 When responding to criticism of your parenting, it is important to take a moment to explain your parenting style. Even if the criticism isn’t valid or you disagree with it, understanding why you are making the choices that you are can be an important part of responding to criticism. 

Start by summarizing your parenting philosophy in a few sentences. This can be helpful in both expressing and understanding the decisions you make as a parent. Consider why you choose certain strategies, what values you prioritize, and how you want your children to learn and grow. 

Take this opportunity to explain the goals you have for your children and the approach you’re taking to get there. You can also mention any successes you’ve had with this parenting style, as well as any challenges. 

It’s natural for others to have different opinions and perspectives on parenting. However, by explaining your parenting style and thought process, you can ensure that others have a better understanding of your choices and the reasons behind them. Doing this can help open up the dialogue for more constructive conversations about parenting. 

· Ask Them for Their Advice 

When someone is criticizing your parenting, it can be easy to get defensive. However, it's important to remain open and willing to listen. Instead of responding in anger, try asking the person for their advice. It shows them that you are willing to consider their opinion and that you value their input.  

When you ask for advice, try to do it in a respectful way. Explain that you understand their concerns and would like to learn more about their perspective. This will help make them feel heard and understood. After they have finished speaking, make sure to thank them for taking the time to talk with you. 

By asking the person for their advice, you demonstrate that you are open to learning and growing as a parent. Furthermore, it allows the person to feel like their opinion is valued and respected. Ultimately, this will help keep the conversation from escalating and provide a chance for everyone to work together towards a solution. 

· Ignore Them 

When you’ve decided that the criticism is not constructive or valuable, the best course of action may be to simply ignore it. You can choose to not engage in the conversation and focus instead on positive parenting. If someone makes a critical comment, you don’t have to engage in a debate or argument. You can simply ignore it and move on. 

Sometimes, people make critical comments simply to get a reaction. If someone is being intentionally hurtful, the best thing you can do is ignore them. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Your child knows that you are doing the best you can, and that’s all that matters. 

Ignoring criticism can be hard, but it will help you stay focused on the positive and maintain your peace of mind. At the end of the day, you have to do what works best for your family, regardless of what other people say. 

Conclusion  

No parent is perfect, and criticism can be a difficult thing to deal with. But by following the above steps, you can learn how to respond to criticism of your parenting in a constructive way. Instead of feeling discouraged or getting angry, you can use criticism as an opportunity to gain insight into how you can improve your parenting techniques. Remember, it’s ultimately up to you to decide how to raise your children and no one else’s opinion should dictate the choices you make.

Holiday Blues

Powering Through the Holiday Feeling’s 

The holidays can be the most beautiful time to spend looking at decorations, being with family, and eating home-cooked meals. For as many as 80 percent of people, the holidays are also filled with stress, depression, and anxiety. For anyone who is not feeling as cheery as everyone else, know you are not alone. The winter brings cold and flu season, shorter days, and cold weather. These things can all compromise your immune system and your mood, too.  

If you aren’t feeling like yourself, or if you notice that you are feeling blue, you may have something called seasonal affective disorder. This disorder, oftentimes, occurs in the transition period of summer going into winter. Lack of sunlight, colder weather, and the stress of the holidays can often make us feel overwhelmed and disinterested in things we used to find joy in. As many as 64 percent of people say that depression and anxiety worsen during the festive season. 

Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder:

1. Feeling depressed and hopeless

2. Lack of interest in activities

3. Sleep increasing or decreasing

4. Appetite changes

5. Isolation 

If you notice yourself or anyone else having symptoms related to seasonal affective disorder, it is okay to reach out for help. Whether professional, familial, or friendly, finding support can be helpful in getting through the holidays.  

Here are some ways to combat seasonal affective disorder:

1. Tell Family or Friends: Telling your friends or family what you are going through can help them understand why the holidays may be difficult for you. It could also lead to some extra support you may need during this time.

2. Reach Out to a Professional: Sometimes it can be tough reaching out to friends and family when you are going through a tough time. A professional can lend a non-judgemental ear and can help you learn coping skills for the future.

3. Use Light Therapy: Using a light box for 20-30 minutes per day can mimic the benefits of the sun during the winter when the sun is out for a shorter period of time. 

Seasonal affective disorder is not the only thing that gets people down during the holidays. Financial stress, busy schedules, and family dynamics can all add unwanted depression and anxiety to anyone trying to move through the hustle and bustle. Recently experiencing a loss or a separation from a loved one can also add to feeling sad, lonely, and isolated. The pressure of getting food made, wrapping gifts, and hosting family can be overwhelming leading to stress. 

Here are some tips to combat holiday stress:

●      Plan Ahead: The holidays often bring up several get-togethers, events, and other commitments that take place on the same days. Plan your schedule ahead of time and prioritize your gatherings as best as you can. If you are hosting, create a menu, and don’t be afraid to ask guests to bring sides or desserts!

●      Budget: Financial stress is often the culprit of irritability, depression, and anxiety during the holidays. Be sure to create a budget if there are multiple people you are buying for this year. Better yet, buy throughout the year in order to avoid last minute spending sprees.

●      Maintain Healthy Habits: The holidays are often a big reason for ruining healthy habits. Filling up on fruits and vegetables can be a great way to add freshness to any meal or spread.

●      Be Realistic: No one is expecting you to have a perfect holiday, so it is okay if you have to change plans or do something different than you have always done. Enjoy the people you have around you, make the effort to connect if you cannot be everywhere in person. 

In summary, it’s normal for people to struggle with feelings of sadness, anxiety, and feeling out of it, but if you feel this way more than usual or have a hard time getting out if the funk you are in, it may be a good idea to reach out for professional help. We at Therapy Cincinnati have therapists who can see you within 7-10 days of reaching out, so please don’t hesitate to reach out if you think you could benefit from talking with someone.

What Is Masked Depression In Kids?

As a parent it can be difficult to know when your child is suffering from depression – after all, they are just kids!

However, there are signs you can look out for that might suggest they are struggling with something more serious than just typical childhood angst.

If you want more resources concerning teenage/childhood depression feel free to connect with us to find the right child therapist in Cincinnati.

What is masked depression?

Masked depression is a term that was actually used back in the 70’s and 80’s, and has mostly been retired since then. However, it has come back into use recently when describing how children may be feeling, since children are especially good at hiding symptoms that may indicate depression. Masked depression, or smiling depression, is essentially the condition wherein a person (or teenager/child in this instance), is experiencing the physical symptoms of depression but they are not showing /feeling the psychological and/or mood symptoms that come along with depression. Some children with depression have been known to walk around smiling, and appearing to be having fun and enjoying themselves. Hence the term, “masked depression”.

A child or teenager who's struggling with depression may:

• Have changes in eating habits (e.g., binge eating)

• Have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

• Lose interest in things they used to enjoy doing (e.g., sports)

• An unexplained decrease in grades

• Isolating themselves from friends and family

• Finding it harder to have open conversations with your child

All this may occur while your child may seem like their normal self.

How to know if your teenager might be suffering from masked depression?

Depression in children, and teenagers in particular can be hard to spot. Their symptoms are very different from adults and they normally try to hide their feelings from their parents, possibly out of fear or shame. Parents need to be aware of the signs that their child might be suffering from masked depression.

Teenagers may also become defensive toward their parents if their parents did question them as to whether or not they may be feeling depressed.

Since masked depression can be somewhat tricky to notice with the lack of psychological mood changes, it’s possible that the teenager/child doesn’t even realize they are experiencing this type of depression.

Why it’s important to be looking for masked depression in young people

Depression is a serious illness that affects the body and mind. The signs of depression can be subtle, but they are often present in young people who are experiencing it. Research has shown that approximately 13% of teens in the US struggled with depression, and that number has increased exponentially during Covid. It’s important to be on the lookout for depression in our children as it can lead to other mental health issues and physical health problems if left unchecked.

One of the biggest ways we can help a child improve their mood and reduce feelings of depression is through talking about what they are going through. Very simply, feelings of depression thrive on secrecy, shame, and trying to let others know what we are going through. Some have even suggested that the core of depression may be a repression of feelings, especially anger. With this in mind, it’s critical that parents be able to be on the lookout for a change in mood and behavior of their child.

It's important for us as parents not only because of this increased risk factor but also because many of our children will experience some form of adversity during their lives—and without proper support systems and coping mechanisms in place, before an event occurs, those events could lead them down an unhealthy and lonely path.

Conclusion

It’s never too late to start helping your children develop healthy habits.

Even if you aren’t worried or have any suspicions that your child might be suffering from masked depression, you should take the time to sit down and talk with your child or teenager about depression in general so that they know and understand you love them and will always be available to them if they need your support and help if they ever do struggle with any type of depression.

Contact us if you need teen therapy in Cincinnati or more parenting resources to help with your child’s mental health needs. 

Outrunning Fear: How To Cope With The News About Eliza Fletcher

Author Margaret Atwood once said: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Atwood’s chilling words sum up what nearly all women are feeling in response to the recent tragedy of Eliza Fletcher. But Eliza Fletcher’s story is not the first of its kind, a reality of which many women are painfully aware. The fact is many women are unable to embrace the benefits of an early morning run because they are afraid of stories like this one. Sadly, this fear is valid. Fear is an appropriate and completely understandable response to the recent news.

Many women are experiencing a very real trauma response in the aftermath of the news surrounding Eliza Fletcher. Not only has the tragedy aggravated the pre-existing fear that nearly all women have in general, but women who have experienced being stalked, attacked in public, or assaulted, may be especially triggered, and feel as if “it’s happening again.” Unfortunately, when emotionally triggering news occurs, women are once again faced with a traumatizing reality: the world is not always safe.

This sad reality often elicits a sense of paralyzing fear, and because fear can feel like an unsolvable problem, feelings of helplessness may also be experienced. Emotional dysregulation is a common trauma response, and it is our desire to partner with women to help them heal and emotionally recalibrate.

If you are currently coping with fear as a result of the news regarding Eliza Fletcher, then we encourage your efforts to process the fear. Here are three suggestions for coping with emotionally triggering news:

1.      Practice self-care. Traumatic responses are very similar to a PTSD response, and self-care can be helpful for mindfully returning to the present moment. Self-care looks different for everyone. For some, self-care may be a time of rest, reflection, processing, nurturing, releasing, or all the above. The point of self-care is to restore your inner sense of calm and promote emotional regulation, so any healthy activity that promotes a sense of well-being and safety is encouraged. Breathing exercises are an especially helpful way for working through a triggered moment of dysregulation, because it triggers your mind in a positive way to recalibrate to calm. For other mindful coping exercises please read: 5 Ways to cope with PTSD by yourself

2.      Keep calm and carry on. Some women, especially women who enjoy running, may choose to express self-love by facing their fears head on. If you decide to cope with your triggers by keeping calm and carrying on, then we support you. You have every right to go for a run whenever you feel ready.

Running safety tips:

·        Run with a partner or in a group whenever possible

·        Avoid earbuds or only use one

·        Bring your cellphone and download one of the geo-tracking safety apps for runners

·        Carry a flashlight or wear a headlamp

·        Know your route and avoid dark/isolated areas

·        Have a few different routes and switch them up

·        Run with a handheld self-defense device (many are designed for female runners)

·        Make sure a trusted friend or family member knows your running routine, schedule, and route

3.      Seek professional support.
You are not alone. If you are struggling to cope with your emotional triggers, then working collaboratively with one of our compassionate, trauma-informed, and certified EMDR Therapists at Therapy Cincinnati can be a healing step towards resolving traumatic trigger symptoms and emotions associated with trauma. If you would like to learn more about how trauma therapy works, please contact us today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.  

The process of healing and coping with traumatic emotional triggers is an act of bravery, and we want to applaud the more than 2,100 people who showed up to symbolically complete Eliza’s morning run in her honor. The strength and healing that is found when we come together and refuse to give in to fear is a true testament to the human spirit. Fear can run circles in the mind, but fear will never outrun the courage of a woman.  

Trauma and PTSD treatment in Cincinnati

Therapy Cincinnati is a mental health clinic specializing in EMDR, PTSD treatment, and trauma therapy for women located in the Cincinnati area (and via telehealth!), and we are ready to partner with you on your journey towards growth and healing. Learn more about us and how we work.

Anxious Attachment: How Your Childhood Shapes Your Relationships

Dating is a walk in the park.

But, if you have an anxious attachment style, that park can often feel like… Jurassic Park.

Meeting new people, your face lighting up at the sound of a text notification, and butterflies in your stomach are all very exciting feelings.

But, they don’t come without thoughts like:

“ I haven’t heard from them in 4 hours, are they mad at me?”

“ They didn’t reply to my text 30 mins ago but they posted an Instagram story 5 minutes ago, they must hate me.”

“ I like them way more than they like me.”

“I’ll never be good enough for them.”

According to the book, Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love, roughly 50% of the population is securely attached, 20% are anxiously attached, 25% are avoidant and 5% are fearful.

What is anxious attachment?

Anxious attachment, sometimes called anxious ambivalent, is one of the three insecure attachment styles developed in early childhood.

What causes anxious attachment?

According to John Bowlby, a psychoanalyst and psychiatrist, a child’s relationship with their caretaker determine how the child will approach relationships and social interactions throughout life.

Anxious attachment most commonly manifests as a result of inconsistent parenting.

Examples of inconsistent parenting:

-        Inability to make decisions or provide strong leadership

-        Poor boundaries and structure

-        Neglect

-        Invalidating feelings and experiences

This inconsistency makes the child unsure of what to expect from their parents in the future.

Parents may also use their child as a way to satiate their own desires for love and emotional closeness instead of meeting their child’s needs. This manifests most commonly in overprotective and intrusive parenting.

Signs of an Anxious Attachment Style

-        Low self-esteem: inability to think highly of themselves

-        Intense fear of abandonment and rejection

-        Needing constant reassurance that they are loved

-        Intense jealousy

-        See themselves as unable to self-regulate

-        Opting for self-destructive strategies to cope: ruminating, blaming themselves, wishful thinking

-        People pleasing: working tirelessly to be liked and approved by others

-        Codependency: over-reliance on a romantic partner for emotional needs

-        Tendency to become clingy

How Does an Anxious Attachment Style Show Up in Adults?

People with anxious attachment styles tend to be more insecure about relationships with others, and may find it harder to connect with other people. They also can easily break away from relationships and other situations that would cause securely attached people to have emotional distress. They also tend to be hypervigilant for any sign that a close relationship might be changing, and people may often tell them they are overreacting to simple, innocent things. For example, someone who has an insecure attachment style may have a close friend or a partner who may not instantly respond to calls and text from them. Instead of reassuring themselves that they are probably just busy with something and they will get back to them, someone who has an insecure attachment style may immediately start thinking that they upset their friend or partner, or they may start thinking about how their friend or partner didn’t make eye contact yesterday when they asked them how their day was. They may then start imagining all kinds of scenarios why their friend or partner is upset at them, even though what they come up with sounds farfetched.

Another very common scenario is where someone with an insecure attachment style asks others for frequent reassurance that they still love and care about them. The other person may get annoyed at how often they need reassurance, which in turn can make someone with an insecure attachment style feel guilty and a burden to other people. They may also think their need for frequent reassurance is making the other person more distant from them. These feelings however just increase the need for reassurance from their friend or partner, which creates a cycle that is very hard to stop.

Can you change your attachment style?

Good News. Yes, you can change your attachment style however it does take time and effort. Think about it – your attachment style is a result of years and years of learning how to interact with people, so to change that requires time and patience.

There are a few ways to change your attachment style.

1)     Secure Relationships: “Earned security” is a term we use to describe where a relationship with a securely attached person can bring a sense of stability and create emotional closeness. This can cause a shift in personal beliefs and patterns allowing for a secure attachment to develop. In other words, having a positive and trusting relationship with someone as an adult can help us begin to unlearn old beliefs about others and how we relate to them.

2)     Independent Self Reflection: You can help heal your insecure attachment style by analyzing the way you show up in your relationships (especially with a romantic partner). By recognizing your personal beliefs in relationships, you can begin to thoughtfully look for opportunities to grow. Journaling and other self-reflection practices can help you make sense of childhood experiences and begin to heal.

3)     Talk to a mental health professional: Because attachment styles are so subtle, working with a therapist may be the most beneficial way to make significant improvements in your attachment style and relationships. A therapist can help you see patterns, behaviors, and beliefs that you may not even realize that you have. A therapist can also help you gently begin to change the way you interact with others, in part by practicing different situations with you and seeing what comes up for you as you navigate through those situations.

4)     Working through the past: One of the most helpful pieces in learning a new attachment style is making sense of what you experienced as a child. This allows you to develop a coherent narrative about what happened to you as a child, which helps you shift how you feel about yourself and the things that you learned and experienced.

Coping With Parenting Insecurities

As a parent, all you want is to know you have raised your children to be ready to take on the world one day independently. When they are young, it may be overwhelming not only for you, but for them as you try to truly understand why each other does certain things. As a new parent, it can be especially nerve wrecking because every child and every home life is different. You may also have little to no experience raising a child.  

When it comes to parenting, you want the best for your children, and you want them to be the best they can be. Since children are not born inherently knowing right from wrong or what is socially and culturally acceptable, it becomes the parent’s job to teach them.  

This is where parental guilt comes into the picture. Many of us worry that we’re not doing a good enough job as a parent, and these feelings of self-doubt are only intensified by the photos of picture-perfect families that dominate our social media feeds. In fact, some studies have shown that 73 percent of moms say they try to give the impression that their life is under control.

 4 PRACTICAL THINGS YOU CAN DO TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN

 1.     It’s important to assess whether these behaviors are appropriate for their age and developmental status. Speak with your doctor about what types of behaviors are appropriate for your child based on their age and cognitive. However, a therapist may have better insight into how certain behaviors may be linked to things like ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. 

2.     Going over rules with your child is a great way to make sure there is communication between both parties. The most important part of setting rules and making sure your child follows them is to also make sure they understand why those rules are set in place. It is also important to make sure those rules are age appropriate. Teaching your child about healthy boundaries and rules early on is also setting them up to have healthy boundaries later in life.  

3.     Recognize that children may have personalities that are quiet and shy, or very loud and boisterous. If this is the case, it is okay to accept that it is part of their personality. Your child’s behavior may be bad, but your child themselves is not bad. It is important to distinguish this especially when talking to them about their negative behaviors. 

4.     Make sure to praise your child when they are doing good behaviors, listening well, and following rules that you have discussed with them. Show them appropriate affection often and use words to affirm good behaviors.  

4 WAYS YOU CAN COPE 

1. Stop trying to be perfect: There’s no such thing as a perfect parent, and striving for this unachievable goal will inevitably lead to disappointment. Give yourself a break and simply do the best you can. If you feel chronically overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to seek counseling from a professional. But first, let the perfection aspirations go!

2. Acknowledge that you can’t do it all: According to research, nearly 40 percent of full-time working mothers say they always feel rushed. It’s ok to delegate and allow others to help. Divide parenting and household duties with your spouse. Pay a neighborhood teen to supervise your children or swap services with another parent so you can go to the grocery store and prepare dinner after work.

3. Seek to understand and support your child’s needs: Instead of jumping to the conclusion that your child’s tantrum or rebellion is a result of you failing as a parent, seek to understand the reason for his outburst. Is he overly tired? Has he gone too long without a snack? Does he need a hug? Look for the simple solution first. If the behavior continues, seek support from a licensed child therapist who can provide therapy and parenting support.

4.       Make time for self-care: If you aren’t taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to be present and provide the best care for your child. Take some time after work to listen to a guided relaxation or sneak in a quick workout before you head home. Listen to your body’s signals, get enough sleep and make sure to eat some veggies every day, too! 

If you’re still feeling overwhelmed or frustrated, you or your child may benefit from talking to a therapist who has a better understanding of children and their behaviors, and how you as a parent can help. At Therapy Cincinnati, we have therapists that specialize in working with parents who could use more support with parenting their children, and we also have therapists that specialize in working with children. Please reach out to us to schedule your free phone consultation.  

How to Know if EMDR Therapy is Right for Me

Has someone suggested that you try EMDR therapy? Perhaps a friend recommended it after the positive effect it had in their life. Or maybe your doctor thinks it would be a good idea to try it. Or, maybe you’ve heard about EMDR yourself and have been wondering whether it might be right for you.

In many cases, EMDR therapy can offer numerous benefits. However, if you’ve been unsure whether EMDR therapy might be right for you, there’s a lot to consider. Luckily, this is where we can help, and we’ve outlined some vital things you need to know about EMDR therapy in Cincinnati to help you find out if EMDR could be helpful for you.

How to Know if EMDR Therapy is Right for You

How can you decide whether EMDR is the right option for you? EMDR therapy is an increasingly popular solution in many cases. However, it’s not always clear to see which form of therapy is right for you – and, with this thought in mind, we’ve outlined some of the key things you need to know about EMDR as follows. Hopefully, this will help you find the optimal solutions for your own recovery goals.

Key Features of EMDR Therapy in Cincinnati

EMDR therapy is a unique form of healing that works with rapid eye movements to reprocess past traumas. In many cases, this can allow you to feel better about memories that previously caused you to feel strong negative emotions, making it much easier to cope with the traumas you may have experienced in the past. EMDR helps by desensitizing and reprocessing previous, painful memories, making them easier to cope with in the present.

As such, some of the key features of EMDR therapy that can help make it effective for your own recovery include a non-invasive approach that’s safe and non-overwhelming. The EMDR process is designed to be a gentle process, and while you may experience some slight emotional discomfort at the time, this likely won’t continue in the long-term perspective.

Is EMDR Right for You?

EMDR therapy can be effective for numerous forms of recovery. As such, if you are struggling with any of the following, EMDR therapy might be right for you!

-        Anxiety

-        Phobias

-        Childhood trauma

-        Complex trauma

-        Unresolved grief

-        Addictions

-        Eating disorders

EMDR therapy is also effective if you have struggled with previous forms of therapy. Many people come to us after having tried other, more traditional types of therapy such as talk therapy. Unfortunately, people come to us after their previous therapy was not successful, and this is especially the case when trying other types of trauma therapy. One of the benefits of EMDR is that you don’t need to tell your therapist what you’ve been through – you can still get the full benefits of EMDR without speaking about your trauma, since EMDR is not solely about verbally processing the trauma.

Something else that can be helpful is that EMDR integrates somatic therapy into the therapy, which can make it easier for people who experience body sensations to process through their trauma.

However, if you’re looking for a quick fix for your past trauma, it’s worth considering that EMDR therapy primarily supports your healing and recovery. As such, if you’re looking for a plan that can provide immediate solutions, EMDR may not be the right option. However, for many patients, it doesn’t take many EMDR sessions to begin experiencing progress and recovery, making this a potentially effective form of recovery to consider.

How long does EMDR therapy take to work?

Many people find EMDR therapy to be helpful because it can accelerate your healing. This doesn’t mean it’s a quick fix,  but it simply means it can help you process some things more effectively. As you’re deciding if EMDR therapy is right for you, it’s important to consider how long you’ll need to be in treatment to get the best results. If you’ve been engaging in therapy for a long time, you may be able to feel the effects of EMDR therapy more rapidly. If you’re experiencing therapy for the first time it may take a little longer to prepare for the work. A general rule of thumb is that it will take at least 10-12 sessions to see the effects of EMDR therapy.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been looking to try a new form of therapy and recovery, you may have considered EMDR. In fact, a growing number of people are trying EMDR therapy in Cincinnati for the value it could bring. It’s important to speak to a trained and expert local Cincinnati EMDR therapist to fully determine if EMDR could help you, and you can reach out to us to schedule a free 15 minutes consultation call.

What Is Egg Shell Walking?

It is a normal response for the person to feel afraid during and after a traumatic situation. Fear triggers the brain to help defend against danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a typical reaction meant to protect a person from harm. While most people understand the effects of trauma, there is often a much more subtle form of trauma, which we trauma therapists call “egg shell walking”. Let us explore what this means and how it impacts people.

During an abusive relationship, whether it’s a friendship, familial relationship, or a romantic relationship, patterns are established by the abuser and the person being abused.  These types of behaviors by an abuser can be gaslighting, verbal manipulation through degradation, shaming in public, humiliation, making threats, yelling at a person, all in an attempt to control the person being abused. 

If the person being abused cannot or does not get out or away from this type of dysfunction, the person being abused develops a pattern of behavior in order to cope with their situation.  In order to try to make life less stressful or to lessen the amount of abuse, the person being abused will often times try to change what they do to try to avoid attention from the abuser. Put another way, they may try to “fly under the radar” so that there is less of a chance of something negative happening to them.

Those of us in the trauma world have a name for this way of acting, and we call this “walking on eggshells”. Walking on eggshells essentially means tiptoeing around their partner, significant other, or family member in order to avoid emotional blow ups, mood swings, criticism, forms of disapproval, or put downs. If there is physical or sexual abuse in the relationship, this can also be a way of minimizing the chances of that happening as well.

The problem with doing this is that while the chances of being hurt by the abuser goes down and it helps people survive, when people do this, they begin to lose touch with themselves.  They may start to be unsure about what they like or what they want, and they learn to shut down who they are to keep the peace within the relationship. Along with this, people often start to shut off their emotions and become numb to things, both positive and negative things that may occur.  

Over time, they begin to question their own validity as a human being, and may even question reality. We have worked with grown adults who are unsure what they like to do, how they feel, and who are more focused on what other people want. Sadly, the damage this causes is deep and it takes time and effort to help people reconnect with themselves. Not only that, but this type of dysfunction and abuse sometimes doesn’t end with the can be passed down generation after generation.   

It’s very hard to get out of the cycle of this type of behavior. Many times, children who experienced these patterns of behavior find themselves around similar people as an adult, without realizing what’s happening. If you are in an abusive relationship, consider getting out, and also consider going to see a therapist to learn how to be healthy and think differently. Long term abuse and the impacts it has on us can be corrected, but it takes a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone and do something different. Even if the comfort zone is unhealthy.   

Sadly, some people don’t want to change the way they are, and see no reason to do so.  If that is the case they will often live the same way, and pass on their ways to their children, who in turn could continue to pass on to their children. This happens everyday, in every part of the world. 

 If you feel that you are in a situation that you are unhappy with, that makes you feel unworthy, not validated, or makes you question reality, you can get help and you can change.  Seek out a trauma therapist that focuses on these types of behavior and get help. Reach out and talk to someone, and if you feel our life is in danger, either from yourself or your partner call a crisis hotline, or the police. 

 The same advice is true if you had to suppress your feelings growing up, and are now struggling in relationships or struggle with fully connecting to yourself. You may also find it hard to know what you are feeling, and you may have trouble figuring out what interests you, even as your able to tune in to what other people like and want. Here too, seeing a trauma therapist who has experience helping people with these issues can be truly life changing.

What is Attachment-Focused EMDR?

In many cases, traditional EMDR therapy can provide a highly effective and reliable solution for recovery from trauma experienced during our lives. However, there are different forms of EMDR therapy, and while all EMDR therapy shares the same basic outline, over the years several variations of EMDR therapy have been introduced to better target certain struggles some people may have. These newer forms of EMDR are typically used by more experienced EMDR therapists, and they require more advanced training in how to use them. Attachment-focused EMDR is one of the new variations that have been developed, and is taught in more advanced EMDR trainings.

But what is attachment-focused EMDR, how does it differ from standard EMDR therapy, and might it be the right recovery solution for you? We’ve outlined everything you need to know about this unique form of recovery as follows to help inform your decision.

What is Attachment-Focused EMDR?

We are all social creatures by our very nature – but in some cases, relationships with others can cause a great deal of pain and trauma. Abuse, neglect, and loss can all significantly impact our ability to lead a happy and healthy life.

Many people suffer from mental health challenges due to their past experiences. This is especially common when we suffer neglect or relationship trauma at a developing age. At this point, we are naturally more prone to develop unhealthy coping mechanisms and barriers to better cope with the suffering that we have faced.

For people unable to move on from these past traumas, previous negative relationships can significantly impact our modern lives. However, attachment-focused EMDR therapy aims to overcome this, allowing a person to develop healthier adaptive strategies to overcome pain.

How Does Attachment-Focused EMDR Differ?

We’ve covered how EMDR therapy works previously. However, attachment-focused EMDR is a little different, building on the original principles and methods with a focus on attachment and relationship trauma. This allows attachment-focused EMDR to provide more effective support and recovery for patients who have experienced trauma during childhood.

Traditional EMDR is often used for later traumas that occurred at a specific time. By comparison, attachment focused EMDR focuses on longer-standing trauma due to unhealthy coping mechanisms and neglectful early attachments.

Through attachment-focused EMDR, therapists focus more closely on events that occurred very early during the person’s life. These events, particularly if disruptive to the bond between a child and their primary caregiver, often shape our future lives through internalized coping mechanisms and unhealthy means of communicating and healing from pain.

In turn, by focusing on these early attachments and helping the patient to reprocess these memories, attachment-focused EMDR allows a patient to connect new information with the pain of previous memories. This allows the recovery process to begin by helping clients learn new truths about themselves and the people that were around them. For example, if a child was often ignored  by their caregivers, they may internally think there is something wrong with them, or they are annoying or a burden to others. With attachment focused EMDR, they are able to see things in a different light. For example, maybe their caregiver was emotionally exhausted and couldn’t pay attention to anyone. Maybe the caregiver thought the child was ok and didn’t need attention. Obviously, even if this is true this does not excuse the caregivers behavior, but looking at things in this new light can help a client understand the lack of attention was not about the child, but rather about the parent. This can then lead to an ability to emotionally move on and not be as affected by what they experienced.

Furthermore, by developing and enhancing nurturing figures in the patient’s mind, attachment-focused EMDR helps make the act of reprocessing more straightforward, further contributing to its efficacy for early childhood trauma specifically.

In turn, since these early traumatic experiences may have significantly impacted us throughout our lives, tackling these as the root cause of later trauma can be a powerful way to address current mental health challenges and distress.

Final Thoughts

Recovering from emotional trauma is an incredibly difficult and painful process in many cases – and this is where attachment-focused EMDR may help. Indeed, for many people, attachment-focused EMDR offers a highly effective solution to recover from emotional trauma caused by relationships, in particular.

This is often seen in patients who experienced emotional trauma, neglect, or loss at a young age. As such, by focusing on the adaptive strategies learned during childhood and visualizing a safer space, attachment-focused EMDR can support effective recovery from lived trauma.

Is People-Pleasing a Trauma Response?

From early childhood, we are taught right from wrong, what's appropriate behavior, and how to get along with other people. These teachings helped us form healthy relationships and adapt to social situations, but when trauma occurs, we can go out of our way to please others, surpassing a healthy boundary.

Where Does People-Pleasing Begin?

People-pleasing often stems from childhood trauma, such as abandonment, neglect, or disappointment. For example, if a parent was difficult to please, you may have tried to do things for them to gain their approval or to feel worthy of their love and attention.

In addition, children who have experienced neglect or abuse are often more than willing to get on their good side or avoid them altogether to prevent it from re-occurring. This is especially true when there is physical or emotional abuse, as children may want to avoid triggering the anger of a parent.

This dynamic can make it hard for children to speak up, or they may worry about making a parent upset or disappointed. These behaviors often continue with friendships, and then on into adulthood. As an adult, it’s not unusual for people to try to please their bosses, co workers, and even partners they may have.

What Are Some People-Pleasing Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors?

At the expense of not disappointing others, feeling rejected, or avoiding conflict, we often do things for others we don't want to and form these patterns to please others but neglect ourselves.

So, what are some people-pleasing patterns?

·       Saying yes to others all the time

·       Apologizing even when it's not their fault

·       Suppressing their true feelings and emotions    

·       Constantly worry about how others see them

·       Staying in toxic relationships

·       Highly sensitive to criticism

·       Avoiding disagreement or conflict

·       Feeling unworthy of love and respect

How to Stop People-Pleasing Behavior

One of the most vital steps to eliminating people-pleasing behavior is becoming conscious of yourself and making the appropriate changes.

So, how do you make these changes?

Understand that saying no isn't selfish. Saying no to others' requests might be difficult because we feel good helping others and don't want to disappoint them, but at what cost? Remember, we must first take care of ourselves to take care of anyone else. A reasonable person will understand that you can't always say yes. Plus, you're essentially telling yourself that you are worth the self-care.

Let go of self-blame or guilt. You are not responsible for how your parents or other adults treated you as a child. Not to mention that it's justifiable what you needed to do for your self-protection. Therefore, remind yourself that you can't control what happened then but can take control of your life now.

Be your genuine self. Likely, some people in your life don't even know the true you. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to show them. You want people to like you for who you are and not what you do for them. And, you deserve to attract the right people in your life.

Set boundaries. Part of being in a healthy relationship is setting boundaries. As individuals, it is essential that we stress what we do/don't like or what we will/won't accept. That is how you form a mutually respectful relationship with someone and build self-esteem.

Trauma Treatment

Sometimes the root of people pleasing behaviors can be trauma people have been through. It can be hard to undo a lifetime's worth of trauma on our own, and so counseling might be an excellent option to get to the root of your people-pleasing behavior. A therapist can help you make get past and heal from a childhood history you didn't own. They can also teach you ways to set boundaries, help you communicate more effectively with others, and build healthier relationships.

How to Deal With Anxiety In The World Today

Natural disasters, potential pandemics, war threats, and the political outrage of the day, to name a few, are all things that cause anxiety if you pay even half attention to the news. It's natural to be scared in the face of a terrifying world and a bleak future. It’s completely natural. It becomes a problem only when this anxiety is taking a serious toll on your mental health, and it becomes unmanageable.

The pandemic has wreaked havoc on mental health systems around the world, creating vast gaps in care for those who most need it. People used to search for anxiety therapy for hours, or anxiety therapy in Cincinnati or somewhere in the other part of the world. And, they were unable to do it. Even though the situation has improved significantly by the end of 2021, far too many people are still unable to receive the care and support they require for both pre-existing and newly established mental health issues.

Covid-induced Anxiety:

The most prevalent form of anxiety concerning current world affairs nowadays is covid-induced anxiety. According to a WHO scientific brief, the global prevalence of anxiety and depression soared by a whopping 25% in the first year of the pandemic. Furthermore, the pandemic's social isolation has led to unprecedented stress. People's capacity to work, seek help from loved ones, and participate in their communities was impeded and it led to suicide and self-harming behavior, even exhaustion in healthcare workers.

War-induced Anxiety:

Another major problem nowadays is the disturbing world conditions and the news of people dying everywhere. Especially, the current relations of war between Ukraine and Russia have brought a vast number of mental health issues in people, especially the pre-existing ones. Many people are dealing with the unexpected new world order as the West faces a possible new Cold War. Also, the warnings about heightened nuclear threats flood social media, even if you live thousands of kilometers away from the frontlines in Ukraine.

How to battle anxiety?

Apart from these two major factors, the other contributing factors are also there and you just can't ignore them. They are there, they are normal and you need to cope with them. You can opt for anxiety therapy so it can help you. Otherwise, you can change certain behaviors and it will bring a change for sure.

Change your thought patterns and change the perspective:

No fortune-telling!

The news can often conjure up scary images and thoughts about the future, and it can feel as though these concerns will come true. Distinguish between the fancies of the imagination and reality. When you discover yourself worrying about a fictitious tragedy, return to reality by taking a slow breath in and out and smiling.

Remind yourself that you can cope!

When you're afraid about something that might happen today, visualize yourself dealing with it effectively. Remember how strong you've been in the past when you've risen to the challenge. Expect yourself to apply the same ability and tenacity to today's difficulties.

Choose your actions to unwind the anxiety:

Be with the things that are real!

When you realize you've become engrossed in the latest frightening prognosis, acknowledge it for what it is. A daydream that may or may not come true! Touch something nearby, and allow interaction with the world around you to serve as a touchstone for releasing the grasp of fear.

Turn off the news!

It's probably unrealistic to completely skip the news, but a good rule is to read the news once a day.

Release the tension!

When you notice you're carrying extra tension in your muscles, take a few moments to pause.

ü  Take three deep breaths and count to five as you exhale.

ü  Inhale as you shrug your shoulders up toward your ears.

ü  Slowly exhale as you release all tension from your shoulders, letting them relax and drop.

Repeat this twice more with a soothing breath in and out each time. Finish with three more breaths and pay attention to how you feel.

Final Thoughts:

There’s no question that receiving for therapy in Cincinnati or anxiety therapy anywhere, it will help you a lot. But, you can change your thoughts and actions for better outcomes. Also, you should always be open to uncertainty and focus more on the act of love. Address your anxiety and remind yourself that everything will be OK. It has always been!

How EMDR Can Help You Grow Past Your Trauma

Change and growth can be painful processes. However, there is nothing quite as painful as staying in a place you know you don’t belong. Surviving traumatic events can be, in a word: chaotic. You ask yourself the same questions repetitively, hoping for a different answer. Why did this happen? What could I have done to prevent it? Who will believe me? At times it can feel like you’ve witnessed yourself dissolve. All you can do is stand there and wonder if there is anything left of you to put back together.  

Rock-bottom can feel debilitating, but it can also be an excellent foundation to build. That inner knowing that I may be shattered right now, but somewhere in me, that magic, that alive thing, is still in me. I will have to take a step back and cry when I need to cry, mourn what I’ve got to mourn, but I have got to heal. 

The critical thing to remember is that change isn’t achieved overnight. Rushing and pushing cause resistance. Healing takes alignment. Aligning ourselves with the tools and resources that will support us takes time. It means coming to terms that recovery also requires doing things that make us uncomfortable at the moment, but that will significantly benefit us over the long term. 

Often, our biggest fear isn’t that these traumatic events will happen again; Our biggest fear is that we won’t be able to handle them if it does. EMDR helps you take your power back and harnesses you with the tools to turn your greatest breakdown into your most significant breakthrough.

 This post will explore how EMDR therapy will help you become the best version of yourself. 

1)     End Emotional Eating and Once And For All 

When we experience strong negative emotions, it isn’t uncommon to experience a feeling of emptiness and hopelessness. Food can be an attractive solution since it can give us a sense of physical fullness even if we still feel that strong emotional void.  

Here are the facts about eating disorders and obesity in the USA today:

 ●       According to The National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, binge eating disorder is the most common eating disorder in the United States.

●       10,200 deaths each year are the direct result of an eating disorder

●       About 26% of people with eating disorders will attempt suicide.

●       The U.S. adult obesity rate stands are 42.4%. 

EMDR can help you navigate stressful situations and intense emotions that keep you vulnerable to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as binge-eating and substance abuse.  

2)     Build Strong Self-Talk and Self-Confidence 

Our thoughts influence our feelings. Our feelings influence our actions. Our actions create our habits, and our habits create our lives. What we think and feel about ourselves plays a prominent role in trauma recovery. EMDR builds mental toughness and self-confidence because you will begin to hit mental and emotional breakthroughs that you once thought were impossible. Debilitating flashbacks will, over time, become minor inconveniences that come and go, like riding a wave in the ocean.

 3)     Improve Relationships 

The quality of our lives is greatly determined by the quality of our relationships. EMDR helps us to discover who we are at the core. When this self-awareness is developed, it allows us to form more meaningful relationships, and we will be able to see people’s actions objectively instead of projections of previous trauma. Developing relationships with others will help us create a network of supporters that we can lean on in times of crisis. 

4)     Plan For Your Future

As EMDR helps resolve the pain and hurt associated with our trauma, you may notice that you will have more energy and courage to focus on new opportunities and experiences that can enrich our lives. When we keep our past big, it forces us to keep our future small. But when we come to terms with our past, it allows us to think about the future with a sense of wonder and start living intentionally to make it a reality. 

5)     Fade Debilitating Flashbacks

One of the classic symptoms of childhood trauma and PTSD is that trauma memories just won’t seem to fade. People with trauma might find themselves reliving their child abuse or sexual abuse repeatedly. A great thing about EMDR is that it transcends these traumatic events into more manageable, distant memories. Of course, you can still remember, but you will have the ability to separate the memory from your identity and self-worth. 

 6)     Develop A Growth Mindset 

A growth mindset simply means that you believe your talents and capabilities can be developed over time. EMDR shows us that setbacks are a part of life, and it doesn’t matter what happens to you; what matters is how you respond. Those with a growth mindset are more likely to embrace challenges and be more resilient. In the face of adversity, you will shift your mindset from: “why is this happening to me?” to “what is this experience trying to teach me?”  

With a growth mindset, you will have a new approach to life. In the face of adversity, you will look for an opportunity to grow and develop yourself instead of treating every failure as a life sentence.