How to Talk to Children About Death

Discussing death with children can be a challenging and sensitive topic. Since we are therapists who work with kids in the Cincinnati area, we understand the importance of open and honest communication in helping children navigate their emotions and develop a healthy understanding of death. In this article, we'll provide you with practical tips and guidance on how to talk to children about death in a compassionate and age-appropriate manner.

Create a Safe Space:

Before initiating a conversation about death, it's essential to create a safe and comfortable environment for your child. Find a quiet and uninterrupted space where they can feel secure and supported. Be prepared to give your undivided attention and provide a calm presence throughout the discussion.

Use Age-Appropriate Language:

When explaining death to a child, it's crucial to use language that they can understand. Younger children may not comprehend complex concepts like permanence or finality, so it's best to use simple and concrete terms. For example, you might say, "When someone dies, it means their body stops working, and they can't move, breathe, or feel anything."

Be Honest and Clear:

Children have a remarkable ability to sense when something is being kept from them. It's important to be honest about death, using clear and straightforward language. Avoid using euphemisms or vague expressions like "passed away" or "gone to sleep" since they can create confusion and lead to misunderstandings. Instead, use direct terms such as "died" or "dead" to help your child understand the reality of the situation.

Encourage Questions:

Children have a natural curiosity about the world around them, and discussing death should be no exception. Encourage your child to ask questions and provide them with age-appropriate answers. If you don't know the answer to a question, it's okay to admit it and offer to find the information together. Reassure them that it's normal to have questions and that they can always come to you for support.

Acknowledge Feelings:

Death can elicit a range of emotions, including sadness, confusion, anger, and even guilt. Let your child know that it's okay to feel these emotions and that everyone experiences them differently. Encourage them to express their feelings and assure them that their emotions are valid. Provide comfort and reassurance while letting them know that grief is a natural part of the healing process.

Be Patient and Understanding:

Children process information at their own pace, so be patient throughout the conversation. Allow your child to take breaks if needed and revisit the discussion when they feel ready. Remember that children might need multiple conversations about death as they grow and develop a deeper understanding of the concept. Adapt your approach as they age, providing more information and answering new questions that may arise.

Use Metaphors and Stories:

Metaphors and stories can be powerful tools to help children comprehend complex ideas surrounding death. For example, you might compare death to the end of a storybook or the closing of a chapter in a book, emphasizing that life continues in memories and the impact a person has left behind. Use age-appropriate books or movies that address death as a starting point for further discussion.

Discuss Rituals and Remembrance:

Exploring rituals and remembrance can provide children with a sense of closure and help them navigate their grief. Discuss various cultural or religious practices around death, such as funerals, memorials, or creating a memory box. Allow your child to participate in rituals if they desire and encourage them to find their unique ways to honor and remember their loved ones.

In conclusion, talking to children about death is a challenging task, but by approaching the conversation with empathy, honesty, and patience, you can provide them with the understanding and support they need to navigate this difficult topic. Remember that every child is unique, and their reactions and questions may vary. By fostering open communication and creating a safe space for dialogue, you can help children develop a healthy understanding of death and grief, enabling them to navigate these emotions in a positive and resilient manner.

How Does a Secure Attachment Help Your Child?

Today, let's dive into a topic close to every parent's heart: developing a secure attachment with your child. As therapists who work with children and teens, we have witnessed the profound impact that a secure attachment can have on a child's emotional well-being and development. In this article, we'll explore what secure attachment means, why it's important, and practical strategies you can use to foster a secure attachment with your child.

Understanding Secure Attachment 

Secure attachment refers to the emotional bond and sense of safety that develops between a child and their primary caregiver. It lays the foundation for healthy social and emotional development, self-esteem, and relationships throughout a child's life. A secure attachment allows children to explore the world, regulate their emotions, and develop trust in their caregivers.

 The Impact of Secure Attachment

 A secure attachment provides numerous benefits for children, including: 

Emotional Resilience: Children with secure attachments tend to have greater emotional resilience, meaning they can better cope with stress and setbacks in life. 

Positive Self-Image: Securely attached children develop a positive self-image and greater self-esteem. They believe in their abilities and worthiness. 

Healthy Relationships: Secure attachment sets the stage for healthy relationships later in life. These children tend to have more positive and fulfilling connections with others. 

Emotional Regulation: Through secure attachment, children learn to regulate their emotions effectively. They feel safe seeking comfort from their caregiver when needed and develop healthy coping strategies. 

Strategies to Foster a Secure Attachment 

Responsive and Attuned Parenting: Responding to your child's needs promptly and consistently helps them feel secure and understood. Be attentive to their cues, provide comfort when they're upset, and engage in nurturing interactions.

 Create a Safe and Predictable Environment: Establish a stable and predictable routine. Consistency and predictability help children feel secure and develop a sense of trust in their environment. 

Practice Active Listening and Validation: Show genuine interest in your child's thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Active listening and validating their emotions foster a sense of being seen and understood. 

Foster Trust and Dependability: Build trust by following through on your commitments and promises to your child. This helps them feel secure in their relationship with you. 

Engage in Play and Quality Time: Regularly engage in play and quality time with your child. This creates opportunities for connection, bonding, and shared positive experiences. 

Practice Reflective Parenting: Reflect on your own emotions and reactions. By being aware of your own emotional responses, you can respond to your child in a calm and regulated manner, modeling healthy emotional regulation. 

Encourage Independence and Exploration: Support your child's exploration of the world while providing a secure base to return to. Encouraging independence helps them develop confidence and resilience. 

Establish Boundaries with Love: Set clear and consistent boundaries for your child while showing them love and empathy. Boundaries provide structure and help children understand expectations. 

Mindful Parenting: Practice being present and attentive in your interactions with your child. Mindful parenting allows you to respond to their needs with intention and compassion. 

Seek Support and Self-Care: Parenting can be challenging, and it's essential to take care of your own well-being. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals when needed. Engaging in self-care helps you show up as the best version of yourself for your child. 

Remember, building a secure attachment is an ongoing process. It's normal to have challenging moments, and mistakes happen. What matters most is maintaining a nurturing and loving relationship with your child and continuously working on strengthening your bond. 

Conclusion

Developing a secure attachment with your child is one of the most precious gifts you can give them. By providing a safe and nurturing environment, being attuned to their needs, and fostering trust and connection, you lay the groundwork for their healthy emotional development and future relationships. Remember, you are the most important person in your child's life, and your love and support are the foundation on which they will flourish. Embrace the journey of parenthood with patience, compassion, and a commitment to building a secure attachment with your child

How EMDR Can Help With Healing From a Sexual Assault

 Today, let's delve into an innovative therapeutic approach that has shown remarkable results in supporting sexual assault survivors on their healing journey: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). As therapists in Cincinnati that specialize in using EMDR to treat sexual trauma, we have witnessed the transformative power of EMDR in helping survivors overcome the impact of trauma. In this article, we'll explore how EMDR works and how it can aid in the healing process for survivors of sexual assault.

What is EMDR?

EMDR is a therapeutic approach developed in the late 1980s specifically designed to address trauma-related disorders. It integrates elements of cognitive therapy, exposure therapy, and bilateral stimulation to help survivors process traumatic memories, alleviate distressing symptoms, and promote healing.

At the end of each EMDR session, the therapist ensures the survivor feels grounded and safe before concluding. This helps transition the survivor back into their daily life, promoting a sense of stability and integration.

The Benefits of EMDR for Sexual Assault Survivors

Processing Traumatic Memories: EMDR helps survivors reprocess traumatic memories, allowing for the integration of fragmented information and emotions. This process reduces the emotional intensity associated with the trauma, enabling the survivor to gain a new perspective and find a sense of resolution.

Alleviating Distressing Symptoms: EMDR targets the distressing symptoms often experienced by survivors, such as flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, and hypervigilance. By addressing these symptoms at their root, EMDR can significantly reduce their impact on the survivor's daily life.

Promoting Adaptive Coping Skills: EMDR equips survivors with adaptive coping skills to manage triggers, regulate emotions, and promote self-care. These skills empower survivors to navigate their healing journey with increased resilience and self-compassion.

Reprogramming Negative Beliefs: Sexual assault can profoundly impact survivors' beliefs about themselves and the world. EMDR helps identify and reprogram negative self-beliefs that may have emerged from the assault, replacing them with positive and empowering beliefs. This process helps survivors regain a sense of self-worth, strength, and resilience.

Addressing Associated Triggers: Survivors often experience triggers that elicit intense emotional and physiological responses related to the sexual assault. EMDR helps identify and address these triggers, enabling survivors to develop healthy coping mechanisms and regain control over their responses.

Restoring Self-Image and Empowerment: Sexual assault can profoundly impact a survivor's self-esteem, self-worth, and sense of control. EMDR helps survivors challenge negative self-beliefs, restore their self-image, and reclaim their sense of personal power and agency.

Enhancing Resilience and Post-Traumatic Growth: EMDR not only helps survivors heal from the impact of trauma but also fosters post-traumatic growth. Through the reprocessing of traumatic memories and the integration of adaptive beliefs, survivors can develop newfound resilience, meaning, and personal growth.

Can EMDR help with sexual trauma?

While EMDR has been shown to be a highly effective therapeutic approach for sexual assault survivors, it is crucial to approach it with care and support. Here are some considerations:

Working with a Trained Therapist: EMDR should be conducted by a trained and licensed mental health professional who specializes in trauma. Besides for an EMDR trained therapist, your therapist should have additional trauma training with a focus on working with sexual assaults. Your therapist should also have experience working with sexual assaults.

Individualized Treatment: Each survivor's experience is unique, and not all therapeutic approaches work the same for everyone. It's important to work collaboratively with your therapist to determine if EMDR is suitable for you and to explore other options if needed.

Establishing Safety and Trust: Before beginning EMDR, your therapist will prioritize creating a safe and trusting therapeutic environment. They will work with you to develop coping strategies and establish a strong foundation for the healing process so that you can handle the emotions and sensations that may come up in trauma treatment.

Working on Trauma Gradually: Your therapist should discuss with you how you will be working on your trauma, along with the pace that you are comfortable with. With sexual trauma especially, it’s important to go slow rather than try to do too much. We use concepts like titration (discussed in an earlier blog) to work with small pieces of the memory instead of having someone work through everything at once. This makes it more tolerable and results in less anxiety and panic attacks.  

Conclusion

EMDR offers a transformative path to healing for sexual assault survivors. By reprocessing traumatic memories, alleviating distressing symptoms, restoring self-image and empowerment, and fostering post-traumatic growth, EMDR provides a powerful tool for survivors to reclaim their lives and move beyond the trauma. If you're a sexual assault survivor seeking support, consider exploring EMDR as a part of your healing journey. Remember, healing takes time, but with the right support and therapeutic approach, it is possible to find resilience, reclaim your power, and embark on a path of lasting recovery.

If you’re looking for help with a sexual assault you or a loved one has experienced, we are Therapy Cincinnati have 3 EMDR trained therapists who can help you. Our therapists have advanced training in EDMR, and best of all, don’t have any waiting lists for new clients. Please reach out to us to get started today.

Thought Traps and Anxiety

Let's explore a topic that many of us can relate to: anxiety. As therapists that work extensively with anxiety, one common thread we have noticed is the presence of thought traps. In this article, we'll delve into what thought traps are, what these thought traps may be, and how they can keep you feeling stuck in anxiety. But don't worry, we'll also discuss strategies for breaking free and finding peace of mind.

The Power of Thoughts in Anxiety

Our thoughts have a powerful influence on our emotions and behaviors, especially when it comes to anxiety. When we experience anxiety, our minds can become a breeding ground for negative, irrational, and fear-based thoughts. These thoughts often revolve around worst-case scenarios, self-doubt, and a constant anticipation of danger.

Thought Traps: The Sneaky Culprits

Thought traps are patterns of thinking that contribute to anxiety and keep us trapped in a cycle of worry and distress. They can distort our perception of reality, perpetuate anxiety, and hinder our ability to find effective solutions. Let's explore some common thought traps:

Catastrophizing: This trap involves blowing things out of proportion and imagining the worst possible outcomes. For example, if you're running late for a meeting, catastrophizing might lead you to believe that it will result in losing your job or damaging your reputation irreparably.

All-or-Nothing Thinking: This trap is characterized by seeing things in extreme, black-and-white terms, without considering shades of gray. You might believe that if something doesn't go perfectly, it's an absolute failure. For instance, if you make a minor mistake in a presentation, you might conclude that you're a total failure as a professional.

Mind Reading: This trap involves assuming what others are thinking or expecting the worst from them. You might believe that people are constantly judging or criticizing you, even in the absence of evidence. This can lead to social anxiety and a constant need for reassurance.

Overgeneralization: This trap involves taking one negative experience and applying it to all similar situations. For example, if you stumble during a public speaking engagement, you might conclude that you'll always be terrible at public speaking and avoid future opportunities.

Breaking Free from Thought Traps

Now that we've identified these common thought traps, let's discuss strategies to break free from their grip and find relief from anxiety:

Identify and Challenge the Thoughts: Start by becoming aware of your anxious thoughts. Take a step back and examine them objectively. Ask yourself if there's evidence to support these thoughts or if they're based on fear or assumptions. Challenge them with more realistic and balanced perspectives.

Practice Cognitive Restructuring: Replace negative and irrational thoughts with positive, rational, and evidence-based ones. Consider alternative explanations or interpretations of the situation. For example, if you're worried about a social event, remind yourself that most people are focused on themselves and not scrutinizing your every move. 

Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Practice mindfulness to bring yourself into the present moment and break free from anxious thoughts. Engage in deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or grounding techniques such as focusing on your senses or repeating a calming mantra. These techniques can help calm your mind and reduce anxiety symptoms.

Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional who can provide guidance and support. Therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you identify and challenge thought traps, develop effective coping strategies, and gain a deeper understanding of your anxiety.

Self-Care and Stress Reduction: Prioritize self-care activities that promote relaxation and reduce stress. Engage in regular exercise, get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, and engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Taking care of your overall well-being can help reduce anxiety and improve your resilience.

Conclusion

Remember, breaking free from thought traps takes time and practice. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate your journey towards managing anxiety. With awareness, challenging negative thoughts, and seeking support, you can break free from these thought traps and reclaim your peace of mind. Embrace the journey and know that you have the power to overcome anxiety and live a fulfilling life.

With that in mind, sometimes people need extra support to help them move through anxiety. The therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are ready and able to help if you could use any support.

The Role of Self-Criticism in Depression

Today, let's explore an important topic that often intertwines with depression: self-criticism. As a therapists that work with depression, we had the opportunity to work with many individuals who struggle with depression, and one recurring theme that arises is the presence of self-critical thoughts. In this article, we'll delve into the connection between self-criticism and depression and explore how understanding this link can be a crucial step towards healing.

Understanding Depression

Before we delve into the role of self-criticism, it's essential to understand depression itself. Depression is not just a feeling of sadness or a temporary low mood; it's a complex mental health condition that affects the way we think, feel, and behave. It can manifest differently for each person, but common symptoms include persistent sadness, loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, low energy levels, difficulty concentrating, and thoughts of worthlessness or even suicide.

Here in Cincinnati, we often see depression increase in the winter when it’s often cloudy, but the truth is depression is something that occurs all year long. It’s important to know that depression doesn’t have a “season”, and you can feel depressed at any time.

The Vicious Cycle of Self-Criticism and Depression

Now, let's talk about self-criticism. We all engage in self-evaluation to some degree, but when it becomes self-criticism, it can be incredibly destructive. Self-criticism involves a harsh and unforgiving inner dialogue, where we constantly put ourselves down, focus on our flaws, and hold impossibly high standards. This negative self-talk can create a vicious cycle that perpetuates and worsens depression.

When it comes to self-criticism and depression, they often go hand in hand, creating a harmful cycle. Imagine feeling down or experiencing a setback in life. It's in these moments that self-criticism tends to rear its ugly head. You might find yourself saying things like, "I'm such a failure," or "I can't do anything right”, or “why can't I just snap out of it? I'm so weak."

These self-critical thoughts reinforce negative beliefs about ourselves and can intensify the feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair that are characteristic of depression. In turn, depression can magnify self-criticism, making it even more difficult to break free from this destructive cycle.

The Roots of Self-Criticism

To understand why self-criticism and depression often intertwine, it's important to consider the underlying factors that contribute to their connection. Many individuals who experience depression have encountered challenging life experiences such as trauma, abuse, or difficult relationships. These experiences can shape our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.

Self-criticism often emerges as a defense mechanism. We might believe that if we criticize ourselves first, we can protect ourselves from the pain of external criticism or rejection. It's as if we're trying to shield ourselves from vulnerability. However, this self-protective strategy ultimately backfires, as self-criticism only perpetuates our internal suffering.

The Impact of Self-Criticism on Depression

Self-criticism can have a profound impact on the development and maintenance of depression. When we constantly berate ourselves, it reinforces negative self-perceptions and erodes our self-esteem. Imagine for a moment a happy, confident person. Suppose we were to have them constantly be around someone who was constantly negative about them and the people and things around them. It wouldn’t take long for that happy confident person to start to feel more down and negative about themselves.

In addition to this, we may begin to actually believe that we are inherently flawed, unlovable, or incapable. These self-beliefs contribute to feelings of worthlessness and can deepen our depressive symptoms.

Moreover, self-criticism often leads to a heightened sense of perfectionism. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves and feel intense pressure to meet them. When we inevitably fall short, as all humans do from time to time, we criticize ourselves harshly, reinforcing the cycle of negativity and fueling depressive feelings.

Breaking Free from Self-Criticism

While the connection between self-criticism and depression may seem daunting, it's essential to remember that there is hope for healing. Here are a few strategies to break free from the grip of self-criticism:

Cultivate Self-Awareness: Begin by noticing when self-critical thoughts arise. Pay attention to the language you use to speak to yourself and the situations that trigger self-criticism. Awareness is the first step towards change.

Challenge Your Inner Critic: When self-critical thoughts emerge, question their validity. Challenge them with evidence that contradicts these negative beliefs. Ask yourself if you would speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would offer to others.

Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with kindness, patience, and understanding. Remember that you are human, and it's okay to make mistakes and have flaws. Engage in self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.

Seek Support: Reach out to a mental health professional. Sometimes we need someone outside of ourselves and our friends and family to help us, and that’s where reaching out to a good therapist can make a huge difference. We are local therapists in Cincinnati that have lots of experience working with depression, and we don’t have any waiting lists to get started with therapy. Reach out today to start feeling better!

How Gen Z Is Different From Other Generations

As Cincinnati therapists who specialize in working with teens and young adults, we have worked with people of different generations, and it’s clear that each generation has unique characteristics. Today, let’s discuss Generation Z, or Gen Z, and how they differ from previous generations of teens and young adults.

First, let’s define what Gen Z is. Gen Z refers to those born between 1997 and 2012, which means that the oldest members of this generation are now in their mid-20s, while the youngest are just entering their teenage years. This generation is often referred to as the digital natives, as they have grown up in a world where technology is ubiquitous. Here are some of the ways that this generation differs from teens of the past:

Greater emphasis on social justice and equality

Gen Z is growing up in a world that is increasingly diverse, and they are more likely to have friends and classmates from different racial and ethnic backgrounds. They are also more likely to be aware of and concerned about social justice issues, such as inequality and discrimination. This has led to a more socially conscious and politically active generation that is not afraid to speak out about issues they care about.

Increased focus on mental health

Compared to previous generations, Gen Z is more likely to openly discuss mental health and seek support when needed. This is partly due to the efforts of mental health advocates, but also because this generation has grown up in a world where mental health issues are more widely recognized and discussed. They are also more likely to view mental health issues as an illness, rather than a weakness.

Higher levels of anxiety and stress

Despite being more open about mental health, Gen Z also faces higher levels of anxiety and stress than previous generations. This may be due to a number of factors, including the pressure to succeed in school and the workplace, as well as the constant exposure to social media and technology. Many teens in this generation report feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope with the demands of modern life.

Greater acceptance of diversity

Gen Z is the most diverse generation in history, with a greater representation of different racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. This has led to a greater acceptance of diversity and a more inclusive attitude towards others. Gen Z is more likely to embrace different identities and lifestyles, including gender and sexual orientation, and they are more likely to advocate for the rights of marginalized communities.

Increased use of technology to communicate

While previous generations relied heavily on face-to-face communication, Gen Z has grown up communicating through text messages, social media, and video chats. This means that they are skilled at multitasking and communicating quickly and efficiently, but it can also lead to difficulties in reading social cues and developing strong interpersonal skills. In addition, there is a greater risk of cyberbullying and other online threats.

Pressure To Succeed

One of the biggest challenges facing Gen Z is the increased pressure to succeed. They are often described as the most competitive and driven generation, with high expectations from parents and society. This pressure can lead to stress and anxiety, which can have a negative impact on their mental health.

Education and Work

Finally, Gen Z is unique in the way that they approach education and work. They are more likely to pursue non-traditional educational paths, such as online learning and vocational training. They are also more likely to prioritize work-life balance over their careers, which can lead to a different approach to work than previous generations.

As parents and friend of Gen Z’s, we need to recognize that they have grown up in a different world than we did and that they may have different needs and concerns. We need to be mindful of their relationship with technology, their attitude towards social issues, and their communication style.

It's also important to recognize the unique challenges that Gen Z faces, such as the pressure to succeed, anxiety, and the need for work-life balance. By understanding these challenges, we can better support them in achieving their goals and maintaining their mental health.

Because of this, it’s important for a Gen Z young adult or teen to have a therapist who has experience working with Gen Z clients. Too often, people will tell us that their previous therapist didn’t “get them” and they had to explain too much to their therapist.

We at Therapy Cincinnati have several therapists who specialize in working with Gen Z clients. They have worked primarily with Gen Z teens and YA’s to this point, and they get them. If you are a Gen Z client or have a child who is a Gen Z child, you can reach out to get started with a therapist who understands you or your child. By providing support and resources to help them manage their mental health, we can help Gen Z adults and teens navigate the challenges of growing up in a

How Trauma Affects Us Physically

As therapists in Cincinnati that specialize in working with trauma, one of the things that we wish people knew more about is how much trauma can impact us physically. When we think of trauma, we often focus on the emotional and psychological effects it can have. However, trauma can also affect us physically, and it's essential to understand how this happens.

The effects of trauma on the body can vary depending on the type and severity of the trauma. Trauma can range from a one-time incident, such as a car accident, to ongoing trauma, such as childhood abuse or neglect. Regardless of the type of trauma, it can have long-lasting effects on our physical health.

One of the most common ways that trauma affects us physically is through the activation of the fight-or-flight response. This is the body's natural response to danger or threat. When we experience trauma, our brains perceive a threat, and the fight-or-flight response is activated. This response triggers a cascade of physical changes in the body, including the release of adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones prepare the body for action, increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration.

While this response can be helpful in the short-term, it can be harmful in the long-term. If our body doesn’t process what happened correctly, the chronic stress response can become "stuck" in the "on" position. This can lead to long-term changes in the way the body functions, including inflammation, changes in hormone levels, and changes in brain chemistry. These changes can increase the risk of developing chronic health conditions, including:

Chronic pain: Chronic stress can cause muscle tension, which can lead to headaches, back pain, and other types of chronic pain.

Digestive issues: Chronic stress can affect digestion, leading to gastrointestinal issues such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and ulcers.

Cardiovascular disease: Chronic stress can increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, including hypertension, heart attack, and stroke.

Immune system dysfunction: Chronic stress can impair the immune system, making us more susceptible to illness and infection.

Sleep disturbances: Chronic stress can disrupt sleep, leading to insomnia and other sleep disorders.

In addition to the fight-or-flight response, trauma can also affect the brain and nervous system. Trauma can alter the structure and function of the brain, including the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. These changes can lead to a variety of physical symptoms, including:

Fatigue: Trauma can cause fatigue, as the brain and body are working hard to process the trauma and remain on high alert. This type of effort from our brain and body may go unnoticed by the person, as our brain and body are working hard without the person realizing it.

Memory problems: Trauma can affect memory, making it difficult to recall details or retain new information. Our brain may block out parts of our life so avoid specific memories, which can lead to our memory from certain times in our life being “hazy” or “spotty”.

Chronic headaches: Trauma can cause chronic headaches, as the brain and body are under constant stress. 

Dizziness and fainting: In more severe cases, trauma can cause dizziness and fainting due to changes in blood pressure and circulation.

Chronic illness: Trauma can increase the risk of chronic illness, including autoimmune disorders, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia. This too can be tied to the constant stress that our body is under.

It's important to note that not everyone who experiences trauma will experience physical symptoms. However, if you are experiencing physical symptoms that are impacting your daily life, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional.

Trauma-focused therapy, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), can help people process and heal from trauma, which can in turn reduce the physical symptoms associated with trauma. Other treatments, such as mindfulness meditation and yoga, can also be helpful in reducing stress and promoting overall physical and mental health.

In summary, trauma can have a significant impact on our physical health. Trauma can activate the fight-or-flight response, leading to chronic stress and a variety of physical symptoms. Trauma can also affect the brain and nervous system, leading to fatigue, memory problems, chronic headaches, dizziness, and other physical symptoms.

If you have experienced trauma and are struggling with the impacts it is having on your life, we at Therapy Cincinnati are here to help. We offer multiple types of therapy that is designed to help people heal from trauma, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems, creative arts, and many other types of therapy. You can get started by clicking on the “contact us”  button to schedule a free phone consultation.

How To Tell If You Have Work Related Anxiety

As therapists in Cincinnati that help working adults, we often work with clients who struggle with anxiety at work. It’s important to know that anxiety can show up in various ways and impact someone’s ability to perform well at work. With many people returning to the office after working remotely during COVID, people are reporting more anxiety at work as they get used to a new routine. If you're unsure whether anxiety is holding you back at work, here are some signs to look out for: 

Procrastination and Avoidance

If you find yourself constantly putting off tasks or avoiding them altogether, this could be a sign of anxiety. The fear of failure or making mistakes can be paralyzing and cause individuals to procrastinate or avoid work-related tasks. 

Difficulty Concentrating

Anxiety can make it difficult to focus and concentrate on work-related tasks. Racing thoughts, worry, and fear can all contribute to difficulty focusing and distractibility. 

Physical Symptoms

Anxiety can manifest in physical symptoms such as sweating, rapid heartbeat, trembling, or nausea. If you notice these symptoms at work, it could be a sign that anxiety is impacting your performance. 

Perfectionism

While striving for excellence is important, perfectionism can be harmful and contribute to anxiety. If you find yourself obsessing over every detail or feeling like nothing is ever good enough, this could be a sign that anxiety is holding you back at work. 

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is a common symptom of anxiety and can have a significant impact on self-esteem and confidence at work. If you find yourself constantly criticizing yourself or thinking negatively about your abilities, it could be a sign that anxiety is impacting your performance. 

So, what can you do if you suspect anxiety is holding you back at work? Here are some tips:

Identify the triggers

Try to identify what specifically is causing your anxiety at work. Is it a particular task or project? Is it interacting with a certain colleague or manager? Understanding what triggers your anxiety can help you come up with strategies to manage it.

Seek Professional Help

If you're struggling with anxiety at work, seeking the help of a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can help you develop coping skills, identify triggers, and provide strategies to manage anxiety in the workplace.

 Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is essential to managing anxiety. This can include regular exercise, getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. 

Set Realistic Goals

Setting realistic goals can help to alleviate the pressure and stress that can contribute to anxiety. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks, and celebrate your successes along the way. 

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Practice recognizing negative self-talk and challenging it with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, and remind yourself that making mistakes is a natural part of learning and growth. 

Use Mindfulness Techniques

Mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and visualization can help to calm the mind and reduce anxiety. These techniques can be practiced discreetly at work and can provide a quick way to alleviate anxiety symptoms.

Consider workplace accommodations

If your anxiety is impacting your ability to perform well at work, consider speaking to your manager about accommodations that can be made to support you. This could include changes to your work schedule, adjustments to your workload, or additional support and resources.  

Remember, everyone experiences anxiety differently, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's important to take the time to figure out what strategies work best for you and to seek support when needed. With the right support and tools, you can manage your anxiety and thrive in your professional life. 

In conclusion, if you suspect that anxiety is holding you back at work, it's important to seek professional help and practice self-care. Recognizing the signs of anxiety and taking steps to manage it can improve your overall well-being and enhance your ability to perform well at work. Remember, you're not alone, and with the right support, you can overcome anxiety and thrive in your professional life. As therapists in Cincinnati that specialize in helping people with anxiety, we can definitely help you feel less anxious at work and step more into feeling confident like you deserve.

What Is Parts Work, And Can It Be Used With EMDR?

As trauma therapists located here in Cincinnati, we often use Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to help individuals process traumatic experiences and heal from emotional distress. EMDR is a powerful therapeutic technique that helps people reprocess their traumatic memories, reducing the intensity of the distress associated with them.

People often ask about IFS/parts work, and if that type of therapy can be used with EMDR. As we will discuss, not only does parts work/IFS work well with EMDR, when you are working with a therapist who incorporates parts work/IFS into EMDR, it’s a sign that you are working with a therapist who has advanced training in EMDR and treating trauma.

Let’s first define what parts work and IFS is. Parts work is a broader approach to understanding the different parts of an individual's personality, while IFS is a specific therapeutic approach that focuses on working with the different parts to achieve greater self-awareness and healing.

While there are some differences between the 2 approaches, they both are based on the idea that individuals have different parts or aspects to their personality that represent different emotions or beliefs. This includes understanding how different parts relate to each other, how they affect behavior and emotions, and how they can be integrated. Parts work and IFS can help individuals understand and integrate these different aspects of themselves, leading to greater self-awareness and healing.

EMDR and parts work/IFS can work together in a number of ways. Here are some ways that we have found to be particularly effective:

Identifying And Naming Parts

During the preparation phase of EMDR therapy, we often ask our clients to identify the different parts of themselves that are involved in their trauma or emotional distress. For example, a client who has experienced childhood abuse may have a part that feels angry, a part that feels helpless, and a part that feels guilty. By identifying and naming these parts, clients can start to understand the different emotions and beliefs that are associated with their trauma. 

Mapping Out Parts

Once we have identified the different parts, we can then map them out to understand how they relate to each other. This mapping can be done visually, using diagrams or drawings, or verbally, by discussing the relationships between the different parts. Mapping out parts can help clients understand how their different emotions and beliefs are interconnected, and how they contribute to their current emotional distress. 

Working With Parts in EMDR Processing

During the processing phase of EMDR therapy, we can work with the different parts that have been identified and mapped out. For example, we might focus on a part that feels angry, and use EMDR techniques to help the client reprocess the traumatic memories associated with that anger. By working with individual parts, we can reduce the intensity of the emotional distress associated with each part, leading to greater overall healing.

Working With Blocking Parts

When we are helping a client who has severe or complex trauma, it’s very common that blocking parts show up. Blocking parts are parts that don’t want things to change, even though a person may want things to be different. A great example of this is anxiety. Often when we are working with someone who has trauma, there can be a part of them that is anxious but that part doesn’t want to step away and be quieter. This is true even though the person themselves may want to have less anxiety.

The reasons for why this part may not want to change can range from “I need to be able to protect her in case something bad happens again”, to “I’ve been here for so long I can’t imagine just stepping away and not being so loud”. If a therapist doesn’t know how to use parts work, the EMDR therapy may get stuck at this point. In our experience, this is a major reason why sometimes people come to us and tell us that the EMDR they did with a previous therapist didn’t work.  

Integrating Parts

Finally, in the integration phase of EMDR therapy, we work to integrate the different parts of the client's personality. This integration can involve identifying the strengths and positive aspects of each part, and helping clients understand how they can work together in a more balanced way. By integrating the different parts, clients can achieve a greater sense of wholeness and self-awareness.

Summary 

Overall, the combination of EMDR and parts work can be a powerful approach to healing emotional distress. By helping clients identify and understand their different parts, and using EMDR techniques to reprocess traumatic memories associated with each part, we can achieve deeper levels of healing and integration. If you are struggling with emotional distress or trauma, we encourage you to consider working with a mental health professional who is trained in EMDR and parts work. While there aren’t that many therapists in the Cincinnati area with this training, we at Therapy Cincinnati are fortunate to have 2 therapists with this specialized training. With the right therapist, you can heal from your past and move towards a more positive and fulfilling future.

Paying Attention To Our Child's Mental Health

As therapists in Cincinnati, we cannot stress enough the importance of paying attention to your child's mental health. While physical health is often given more attention, it is equally important to prioritize our mental and emotional wellbeing. As a parent or caregiver, you play a crucial role in your child's mental health. Here are some tips on how to be attentive to your child's mental health:  

Start with open communication

One of the most important things you can do is to establish open communication with your child. Create an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts with you. Encourage them to talk about how their day went, what they are feeling, and any worries or concerns they may have. Active listening is key - this means giving your child your undivided attention and responding empathetically to what they are saying. 

Observe your child's behavior

While communication is essential, children may not always feel comfortable talking about their emotions. That's why it's important to observe your child's behavior. Notice any changes in their mood, sleep patterns, eating habits, or academic performance. If you notice any sudden changes or prolonged negative behaviors, it may be a sign that your child is struggling and needs additional support.

While it's important to be attentive to your child's mental health, it's equally important to respect their privacy and autonomy. Avoid prying or being overly intrusive. Instead, try to create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you. 

Encourage healthy habits

Encouraging healthy habits is another way to support your child's mental health. Make sure your child is getting enough sleep, eating nutritious foods, and engaging in physical activity. Exercise has been shown to boost mood and reduce stress, so consider incorporating physical activities into your family's routine. Additionally, limit screen time and encourage activities that promote relaxation, such as mindfulness exercises or reading. 

Foster a sense of belonging

Children need to feel like they belong and are valued. Encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities, hobbies, or sports teams that interest them. This can help them build friendships and develop a sense of purpose. Additionally, make sure your child feels heard and validated. Let them know that their thoughts and feelings matter. 

Seek professional help when needed

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, our children may need professional help. It's also important to be aware of risk factors for mental health issues such as a family history of mental health issues, a history of trauma or abuse, and chronic stress. If your child has any of these risk factors, it's important to be extra vigilant about their mental health.

Don't hesitate to seek out the support of a mental health professional if you notice persistent negative behaviors or if your child is struggling with a specific issue such as anxiety or depression. A therapists can provide assessment, therapy, and other interventions to help your child manage their emotions and improve their mental health. The good news is that you can find therapists who offer telehealth sessions as well as in person sessions, right here in Cincinnati. You can choose whichever format works best for you and your child.

Take care of yourself

As a caregiver, it's important to prioritize your own mental health as well. Make sure you are taking care of yourself by getting enough sleep, exercise, and social support. Avoid taking on too much and make time for relaxation and self-care. By taking care of your own mental health, you will be better equipped to support your child's mental health. 

It's important to remember that mental health is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process. Just like physical health, mental health requires ongoing attention and care. By creating a safe and supportive environment at home, monitoring for changes in behavior, and seeking professional help when necessary, you can help support your child's mental health. 

In conclusion, being attentive to your child's mental health is essential for their overall wellbeing. By establishing open communication, observing your child's behavior, encouraging healthy habits, fostering a sense of belonging, seeking professional help when needed, and taking care of yourself, you can help support your child's mental health. Remember, it's never too early or too late to start prioritizing mental health.

I Have Everything.....So Why Do I Feel Empty?

Have you ever felt like you have everything you could possibly want, yet you still feel a sense of sadness or emptiness? If so, you're not alone. Many people experience this feeling, and it's important to understand that it's a valid experience that deserves attention and care.

Before we delve into this topic, it’s vital to know that so many people who feel this way often struggle with guilt, as well as a feeling that there is something wrong with them for feeling this way. When people have everything they need and they look at how may people around them are struggling, guilt and shame for feeling this way often comes up. These feelings just make it harder to address the underlying feelings of emptiness and sadness that we are feeling, which is not fair to ourselves.

What’s important to know is that there is nothing bad about not feeling happy even when we have everything we need - we have been trained to think that having material resources equals happiness but that’s not true. Looking at it from this perspective, someone who is financially secure is as vulnerable to having feelings of sadness and emptiness as someone who struggles with the basics of surviving.

There are many reasons why someone may feel sad despite having everything they need materially. It could be due to a lack of emotional fulfillment, a sense of disconnection from loved ones, or even a deeper sense of purposelessness. These feelings can be challenging to confront, but it's important to address them in order to achieve a sense of peace and contentment.

One common cause of sadness despite material wealth is a lack of deeper connection with other people. This can occur when we don't feel valued or understood by others, or when we feel like we're not living up to our own expectations. Even if we have all the money and possessions we could ever want, we may still feel unfulfilled if we don't have meaningful connections with others.

If you're feeling this way, it may be helpful to explore your relationships with loved ones. Are there any underlying issues that need to be addressed? Are you spending enough quality time with the people who matter most to you? By focusing on building and maintaining strong, healthy relationships, you may find that your sense of emotional fulfillment increases.

Another possible reason why you may feel sad despite having everything is a sense of disconnection from your own identity or values. Sometimes, we may become so focused on achieving external success that we lose sight of who we are at our core. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and emptiness, even if we have everything we thought we wanted.

If you're feeling this way, it may be helpful to take some time to reflect on your values and priorities. What matters most to you in life? What are your passions and interests? By reconnecting with your own sense of identity and purpose, you may find that your sense of sadness begins to lift.

Another common cause why you may be feeling down is a lack of emotional fulfillment. Sometimes we might not dislike the things we do in our day too day routine, but we also may not love them either. Maybe at one point we did truly enjoy our day-to-day routine, but now it doesn’t bring us as much joy. These may be things like our job, our family, where we live, and even the more mundane tasks that we have to do.

Something else to consider is that these feelings may also be connected to a deeper feeling of depression. While many people who feel this way do not in fact have depression and my be mis-diagnosed with depression, it’s important to rule out depression when we are feeling this way.

It's also important to recognize that sometimes, there may not be an easily identifiable reason why we feel sad despite having everything we need. In these cases, it may be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional. A licensed therapists can provide a safe and non-judgmental space for you to explore your feelings and identify strategies for managing them.

If you decide to seek support from a mental health professional, it's important to find someone who you feel comfortable talking to and who has experience working with clients who are experiencing similar feelings. You may want to ask for recommendations from friends or family members, or look for a therapist who specializes in treating depression or anxiety.

When looking for help from a therapist, it’s important to talk with whomever you are considering seeing ahead of time to see if they can help you. Some therapists are better at helping people explore symptoms that may not fit a box or label.  In particular, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who specializes in using more creative forms of therapy, such as art therapy, music therapy, or movement therapy. These forms of therapy, as well as the therapist who practices them, may make it easier for you to figure out why you are feeling the way you are.

In addition to seeking support from a mental health professional, there are also some steps you can take on your own to manage feelings of sadness. These may include:

Practicing mindfulness: Mindfulness meditation can help you cultivate a greater sense of awareness and acceptance of your thoughts and feelings, which can be helpful when dealing with difficult emotions.

Engaging in self-care: Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally can help you feel more grounded and centered. This may include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, exercising regularly, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

Practicing gratitude: Focusing on the things you are grateful for in your life can help shift your perspective and increase your sense of happiness and contentment.

Seeking social support: Connecting with friends and loved ones can help you feel less alone and more supported.

Remember, feeling sad despite having everything is a very valid experience, and it's important to take steps to manage these feelings in order to achieve a greater sense of well-being. Whether you seek support from a mental health professional in Cincinnati or take steps on your own to manage your emotions, know that you are not alone and that help is always available.

What Are Signs of Helicopter Parenting?

Helicopter parenting is when moms and dads are very involved in their children's lives and tend to be overprotective. These parents might be too controlling and always want to know where their kids are, who they're with, and what they're doing. They might also try to solve every problem for their children and rescue them from difficult situations. Helicopter parents often want their children to do well, but they can sometimes do too much for them, which can prevent them from learning important life skills. In short, helicopter parenting is when parents are very protective and involved in their children's lives, sometimes to a fault.

So, what are the signs of helicopter parenting? Here are a few indicators to look out for:

Overprotectiveness 

Helicopter parents are moms and dads who are very protective of their children. They want to keep them safe from everything that might cause harm, even if it means not letting them do things that other kids do. Sometimes, they even try to solve every problem for their children and rescue them from challenging situations. This might seem like a good thing, but it can prevent kids from  growing up and becoming strong and independent adults.

Micromanaging

Helicopter parents may micromanage their children's schedules and activities. They may sign their children up for multiple after school activities or fill their schedules with back-to-back appointments. They may also obsess over their children's homework, school projects, and grades, and even complete the work for them. This can be overwhelming for children, and it can prevent them from exploring their interests and hobbies.

Lack of boundaries

Helicopter parents may struggle to establish healthy boundaries with their children. They may be too involved in their children's lives and have difficulty giving their children space to make their own decisions. They may also struggle to set limits on their children's behavior, which can lead to children feeling entitled and lacking in self-discipline.

Constant communication

Helicopter parents may have difficulty letting their children go, even as they grow older. They may insist on constant communication, texting or calling their children several times a day. This can be suffocating for children, and it can prevent them from developing independence and self-reliance.

Difficulty with transitions

Helicopter parents may struggle with letting their children experience natural transitions, such as starting school or moving away to college. They may struggle to let go of their children, and they may become overly involved in their children's lives during these transitions. This can prevent children from developing the skills they need to thrive independently.  

So, what are the consequences of helicopter parenting? Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Lack of independence

Children who are raised by helicopter parents may struggle to develop independence and self-reliance. They may have difficulty making decisions on their own, and they may lack the confidence to try new things.

Anxiety and depression

Helicopter parenting can also contribute to anxiety and depression in children. Children may feel overwhelmed by their parents' expectations and micromanaging, and they may struggle to find joy in their activities and hobbies.

Poor self-esteem

Helicopter parenting can also contribute to poor self-esteem in children. When parents solve every problem for their children and prevent them from experiencing failure, children may begin to doubt their abilities and feel incapable of handling challenges on their own.

Relationship problems

Helicopter parenting can also affect children's relationships with their peers and family members. Children may struggle to form healthy relationships, as they may lack the social skills and confidence needed to navigate social situations. 

Here are some things parents can do to avoid being "helicopter parents": 

Let your child be independent: It's good for your child to learn how to do things on their own. Let them make choices and give them some responsibilities. This can help them feel more confident.

Set boundaries: It's important to have rules and consequences for your child's behavior. Let them experience natural consequences, rather than trying to protect them from everything.

Take care of yourself: As a parent, it's easy to focus all your energy on your child, but it's important to take care of yourself too. Make sure to take breaks and do things you enjoy.

Don't over-schedule your child: Let your child have time to play and explore. This can help reduce stress for both you and your child.

Trust your child: It's important to trust your child's judgment and give them space to make mistakes and learn from them. 

Don't micromanage: It's okay to offer guidance and support, but try not to control every aspect of your child's life.

Be present but not overbearing: Be available to your child, but also give them space to learn and grow on their own.

Remember that being a parent is a journey, and it's okay to make mistakes. By encouraging independence, setting boundaries, and practicing self-care, you can help your child become a confident and capable adult.

What Are The Signs of Attachment Trauma?

As therapists in Cincinnati, we often work with clients who have experienced trauma in their lives, including attachment trauma. Let’s discuss what attachment trauma is, how to deal with it, and how to get help.

Attachment trauma is when someone important in your life, like a parent or caregiver, is not there for you in the way that you need them to be. This can happen in many ways. For example, if a parent is always busy, not around, or often doesn’t pay attention to their child, a child might feel like they don't matter to their parent, or that they are not “good enough” for their parent to love them. If a parent is often angry or violent, a child might feel like they have to always be careful to not make their parent mad. These experiences can cause attachment trauma by making it hard for this child to connect to people and form healthy connections when they get older.

Attachment trauma can have long-lasting effects on a person's mental health and relationships by making it hard to have healthy relationships and to feel good about yourself. Let’s discuss some signs of unhealed attachment trauma and what you can do if you recognize these signs in yourself or someone you know:  

Difficulty with Trust and Intimacy

One of the most common signs of unhealed attachment trauma is struggling with trusting people and getting close to them. This is because when someone important to you is not there for you, it can feel like no one will ever be there for you. This can make it hard to feel safe and to feel like you can rely on others. You may experience this as a fear of getting close to others, reluctance to share personal information, or feeling uncomfortable with physical touch. In addition, it may be hard to enjoy sex and it may feel like something you just have to get through.

If you find yourself struggling to create close relationships or have a history of sabotaging relationships, it may be a sign that you have unhealed attachment trauma. Working with a therapist can help you explore these patterns and develop strategies for building trust and intimacy in your relationships.

A Pattern of Toxic Relationships

Because there is a deep need for connection when someone has experienced attachment trauma,  it’s common for people to be in relationships that are toxic and unhealthy. Quite simply, the need for love and acceptance is often so strong that it’s hard to others to fully fill the void that the person with attachment trauma has. In addition, people with attachment trauma are often attracted to people who are not healthy and cannot give them the love and acceptance they so desperately crave. This makes their need for love even stronger and creates a cycle of hope and excitement, only to be followed and hurt and deep hurt. Why exactly this happens is beyond the scope of this blog post, but it’s a very common pattern.

If you have been in multiple relationships or friendships that have been unhealthy, it may be a good idea to reach out to a therapist and see why this is happening.

Fear of Abandonment

Another sign of attachment trauma is feeling scared that someone will leave you. You may feel anxious or panicked when a partner or friend is out of reach or worry that others will leave you if you don't do everything right. This fear can be so strong that it makes it hard to let yourself get close to anyone, and you might worry that if you get close to someone, they will eventually leave you. Because of this fear, some people tell themselves that they would rather just be by themselves instead of connecting to others.

If you struggle with this fear, it can be helpful to explore the underlying reasons for it. Often, this fear is rooted in past experiences of abandonment or loss. Working with a therapist can help you process these experiences and develop coping skills to manage your fears.

Difficulty with Emotion Regulation

Attachment trauma can also make it hard to control your feelings. When you have had experiences where you didn't feel safe or didn't have someone to talk to, it can be hard to know how to manage your emotions. You might feel like your emotions are out of control and that you can't calm down when you get upset.

If you find yourself struggling with these issues, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you develop skills for managing your emotions. This might include strategies for self-soothing, mindfulness practices, or learning how to express your emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

Negative Self-Image

Another sign of attachment trauma is thinking badly about yourself. When someone important in your life is not there for you, it can feel like there is something wrong with you or that you are unlovable. You might feel like you're not good enough or that you don't deserve good things. You may have a strong inner critic that constantly berates you and makes you feel bad about yourself. These feelings can be very strong and can make it hard to feel good about yourself.

If you struggle with negative self-image, it can be helpful to challenge these beliefs which are often rooted in past experiences. Working with a therapist can help you challenge these beliefs and develop a more positive self-image.

Difficulty with Boundaries

Finally, attachment trauma can make it hard to set boundaries with others. When you have had experiences where you didn't feel safe or didn't have someone to talk to, it can be hard to know how to say "no" to people or tell them when they've gone too far. This can lead to unhealthy relationships where you are taken advantage of, or don’t feel respected. This in turn can make it hard to have healthy relationships.

If you struggle with these issues, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you develop healthy boundaries. This might include strategies for setting limits, learning to say no, or exploring the underlying reasons for your difficulty with boundaries.

Can I Be Helped?

If you struggle with attachment trauma and live in the Cincinnati area, or Ohio in general, it can be lifechanging to work with a properly trained mental health professional. One of the most unfortunate parts about people with attachment trauma is that they have what we call “core negative beliefs” that influence how they feel about themselves and others. However, these beliefs are simply false. It’s a shame to live our lives based on these lies that we have learned to believe, and a trained therapist can help you take a better look at the thoughts that drive how you feel.

How Do I Find Help In Cincinnati?

While seeing a therapist for attachment trauma can quite simply help transform your life, it’s important to know how to find the help you need in the Cincinnati area. Being able to help people with attachment trauma requires specialized training, and so it’s important to ask any therapist that you are considering working with if they have training and experience in treating attachment trauma.

A good place to start is by looking for therapists in Cincinnati who are trained in treating trauma, including those that are trained in EMDR. While attachment trauma is a form of trauma and therefore not every trauma therapist has training in it, many trauma therapists do have training in treating attachment trauma. It’s important to mention as well that while we in Cincinnati have a lot of very talented therapists in the area, including trauma therapists, there are only a handful of therapists in Cincinnati who are trained in and have experience working with attachment trauma.

We at Therapy Cincinnati have lots of experience in treating attachment trauma, and we have several therapists who can help you heal and move forward. With the right support and tools, it is possible to move forward and build healthy, fulfilling relationships. Reach out today to get started with one of our therapists!

The Aftermath of Damar Hamlin

A few weeks ago, millions across the United States witnessed something traumatic - Damar Hamlin collapsing on the field during a Monday Night football game. For those of us living in the Cincinnati the potential trauma was even bigger, with some people witnessing the event live while at the game. Even for those not at the game, just knowing this happened at Paycor Stadium made the trauma that much more personal. This event highlighted the term “trauma” and made it more real to many people.

For many people, this may have been the first time they witnessed trauma. Everything at the game was going fine, and all of a sudden a player was critically ill and needing to be brought back to life. It brought out how fragile life is, and how things can change so fast.

For some people who have experienced trauma in other ways, witnessing what happened on Monday Night football was triggering to watch. However you have been feeling, we’ve outlined some key things you should know to help you process the aftereffects of witnessing trauma.

How to Deal with Witnessing Trauma

If you have witnessed trauma, coping with this can seem like an impossible task. However in many cases, there are several simple ways that can help you overcome this struggle. These include the following ideas:

-        Acknowledge the event. One common issue many people have with dealing with witnessed trauma is that they try to block it out and ignore it. However, doing so can simply allow the pain to fester at the back of your mind. Instead, acknowledge that the event happened; this can allow you to come to terms with it a little more easily.

-        Spend time with loved ones. After you have witnessed trauma, it can feel tempting to shut yourself away from the world for fear of getting hurt again. However, this can often do more harm than good. In fact, spending time with your friends, family members, and loved ones may help give you someone to talk to – and, critically, allow you to focus on something other than the traumatic event itself.

-        Stay away from unhealthy coping mechanisms. Many people turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and other such habits when trying to cope with witnessing trauma. However, while these may serve as a temporary distraction, they will usually do much more harm than good. With this in mind, try to avoid falling into these destructive behaviours and habits, where possible, to ensure that you don’t end up getting overburdened by the trauma you’ve experienced.

-        Talk to a therapist. Many people overlook the importance of speaking to a therapist after experiencing trauma. Even if you have only witnessed trauma second-hand, this can cause uncertainty , anxiety, and confusion. Getting professional support (if you need it) could definitely help take some of the pain away.

-        Look after yourself! As a final point, it’s well worth keeping in mind that looking after yourself is hugely important. Take time out to rest and recuperate. It can go a long way towards helping you cope with the pain and distress of witnessing trauma.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with witnessing trauma is never easy, but you can take several simple steps to make this easier to recover from. Hopefully, today’s guide will have given you a few ideas of possible steps you could take to deal with witnessing trauma in your own life, too.

With all that said, if you find yourself thinking about what happened and feel it’s affecting your day-to-day life, it may be time to reach out to a therapist. This is especially true the more time passes after that night. We at Therapy Cincinnati specialize in helping people who have experienced or witnessed trauma, so don’t push off reaching out for help.

Can EMDR Help If Therapy Hasn't Worked So Far?

More and more of us rely on therapy to help heal from past traumas and the like. However, if you have been struggling to see success with this, there are plenty of alternative options you could consider. Just one such option you could consider is EMDR – but what is EMDR, how does it work, and can it help people who have tried other types of therapy unsuccessfully?

What is EMDR?

What is EMDR? EMDR therapy uses eye movement desensitization and reprocessing techniques to help bring old memories to the forefront of our minds; these can often be long-since-buried memories that significantly influence our day-to-day lives.

During EMDR sessions, the therapist typically starts by taking the client’s history and preparing the client for the experience, which can be somewhat unusual. Then, during EMDR therapy, the therapist targets and processes target memories to help with recovery. From there, the therapist can begin working on treatment plans to help the patient heal from past traumas and move forward.

How EMDR is Helpful for People Who’ve Tried Other Therapies

EMDR is a relatively new form of therapy, and it works differently than other techniques, making it valuable in many scenarios. The basic idea is that instead of talking about feelings and experiences we have had, we allow our brain to reprocess events, which helps us heal and emotionally move on from what has happened.

While EMDR therapy does bring potentially painful memories into the forefront of people’s minds, it is nevertheless still effective. With EMDR therapy, you individually approach and reprocess past negative experiences. This makes them significantly easier to live with in the modern world.

EMDR is an excellent complementary therapy to integrate into your recovery. Whether you’re still sticking with your traditional healing mechanisms or if you have had poor results and want something different, EMDR could absolutely help. Because it targets the cause of distress at the source, it can even be effective for people who haven’t had good experiences with other types of therapy.

There are two main reasons why you might want to try EMDR in place of other therapies. These include:

-        Not all therapies are helpful for recovering from past therapies. Accordingly, if you have struggled in the past to overcome trauma, you may want to try EMDR.

-        In some cases, individuals may simply not see good results from a particular type of therapy. If you’ve been trying another form of therapy that you struggle to see results from generally, EMDR could be a valuable alternative approach.

Is EMDR Safe?

While EMDR can bring painful memories up, it’s nevertheless worth noting here that EMDR is typically very safe to use. Other than being a little distressing, EMDR therapy is a safe way to approach healing and recovery; if you have difficulties, EMDR might be the option you deserve. And don’t forget, EMDR is open to all patients suffering from a mental health condition.

When is EMDR Used?

EMDR is used generally when people are stuck in therapy, or when they have experienced something overwhelming and scary. With this in mind, EMDR is not exclusively limited to challenging or complex cases. In fact, EMDR is available for users facing all manner of different challenges, primarily those relating to past or childhood trauma.

EMDR offers a hugely valuable and exciting opportunity for people to boost their own recovery and happiness. Why not consider this for your own recovery efforts, too?

Final Thoughts

If you have been looking for someone to help with your own healing and recovery needs, EMDR from a local professional therapist could be just what you need. Luckily, we here at Therapy Cincinnati have had lots of experience helping people who have yet to see success through therapy. We have 3 EMDR therapists on our team, and we are proud to offer expert EMDR treatment that can help you heal. Reach out today to get started.

How To Respond When Someone Criticizes Your Parenting

As a parent, it can be hard to hear criticism about your parenting skills. Whether it’s from family, friends, or even strangers, criticism can leave you feeling defensive and frustrated. It’s important to remember that every parent is doing their best, and that criticism of your parenting isn’t always personal. So, we’ll discuss how to respond to criticism of your parenting in a respectful and effective way. 

· Thank Them for Their Feedback 

No matter how much you love and care for your children, it can be difficult to hear criticism about your parenting. It’s natural to feel defensive when someone criticizes your parenting style or choices. Before you react, take a deep breath and thank the person for their feedback. Acknowledging their opinion is important, and by expressing gratitude, you show that you’re willing to listen. 

Expressing gratitude also helps diffuse some of the tension of the situation. Letting the person know that you value their opinion can help create a more open dialogue between the two of you. Of course, you don’t have to agree with them, but thanking them for their feedback can help set the tone for a more positive and productive conversation. 

By thanking someone for their feedback, you’re showing that you’re open to hearing other perspectives. This can make them feel respected and appreciated, and it’s an important step in creating a constructive dialogue. Even if it’s difficult to do, expressing gratitude shows that you’re willing to consider other points of view, and this can ultimately lead to more understanding and compromise. 

· Acknowledge That They May Be Right 

It can be difficult to accept criticism, especially when it comes to something as personal as parenting. When someone criticizes your parenting, it’s important to recognize that they may have a point, even if it doesn’t necessarily fit your own view of the situation. This doesn’t mean that you have to agree with them, but acknowledging that they may be right shows that you are open to other perspectives. 

It’s also important to remember that this criticism could potentially be helpful. Even though it might not feel like it at the moment, taking a step back and objectively considering the other person’s opinion could lead to beneficial changes in your parenting. Rather than getting defensive or retaliating against the criticism, consider it as an opportunity for growth and development. 

No one is perfect, and parenting is often a trial and error process. Acknowledging that someone else may be right shows humility and maturity, which will ultimately benefit both you and your child. Don’t take criticism as an attack; instead, take it as a chance to learn something new. 

· Explain Your Parenting Style

 When responding to criticism of your parenting, it is important to take a moment to explain your parenting style. Even if the criticism isn’t valid or you disagree with it, understanding why you are making the choices that you are can be an important part of responding to criticism. 

Start by summarizing your parenting philosophy in a few sentences. This can be helpful in both expressing and understanding the decisions you make as a parent. Consider why you choose certain strategies, what values you prioritize, and how you want your children to learn and grow. 

Take this opportunity to explain the goals you have for your children and the approach you’re taking to get there. You can also mention any successes you’ve had with this parenting style, as well as any challenges. 

It’s natural for others to have different opinions and perspectives on parenting. However, by explaining your parenting style and thought process, you can ensure that others have a better understanding of your choices and the reasons behind them. Doing this can help open up the dialogue for more constructive conversations about parenting. 

· Ask Them for Their Advice 

When someone is criticizing your parenting, it can be easy to get defensive. However, it's important to remain open and willing to listen. Instead of responding in anger, try asking the person for their advice. It shows them that you are willing to consider their opinion and that you value their input.  

When you ask for advice, try to do it in a respectful way. Explain that you understand their concerns and would like to learn more about their perspective. This will help make them feel heard and understood. After they have finished speaking, make sure to thank them for taking the time to talk with you. 

By asking the person for their advice, you demonstrate that you are open to learning and growing as a parent. Furthermore, it allows the person to feel like their opinion is valued and respected. Ultimately, this will help keep the conversation from escalating and provide a chance for everyone to work together towards a solution. 

· Ignore Them 

When you’ve decided that the criticism is not constructive or valuable, the best course of action may be to simply ignore it. You can choose to not engage in the conversation and focus instead on positive parenting. If someone makes a critical comment, you don’t have to engage in a debate or argument. You can simply ignore it and move on. 

Sometimes, people make critical comments simply to get a reaction. If someone is being intentionally hurtful, the best thing you can do is ignore them. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Your child knows that you are doing the best you can, and that’s all that matters. 

Ignoring criticism can be hard, but it will help you stay focused on the positive and maintain your peace of mind. At the end of the day, you have to do what works best for your family, regardless of what other people say. 

Conclusion  

No parent is perfect, and criticism can be a difficult thing to deal with. But by following the above steps, you can learn how to respond to criticism of your parenting in a constructive way. Instead of feeling discouraged or getting angry, you can use criticism as an opportunity to gain insight into how you can improve your parenting techniques. Remember, it’s ultimately up to you to decide how to raise your children and no one else’s opinion should dictate the choices you make.

Holiday Blues

Powering Through the Holiday Feeling’s 

The holidays can be the most beautiful time to spend looking at decorations, being with family, and eating home-cooked meals. For as many as 80 percent of people, the holidays are also filled with stress, depression, and anxiety. For anyone who is not feeling as cheery as everyone else, know you are not alone. The winter brings cold and flu season, shorter days, and cold weather. These things can all compromise your immune system and your mood, too.  

If you aren’t feeling like yourself, or if you notice that you are feeling blue, you may have something called seasonal affective disorder. This disorder, oftentimes, occurs in the transition period of summer going into winter. Lack of sunlight, colder weather, and the stress of the holidays can often make us feel overwhelmed and disinterested in things we used to find joy in. As many as 64 percent of people say that depression and anxiety worsen during the festive season. 

Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder:

1. Feeling depressed and hopeless

2. Lack of interest in activities

3. Sleep increasing or decreasing

4. Appetite changes

5. Isolation 

If you notice yourself or anyone else having symptoms related to seasonal affective disorder, it is okay to reach out for help. Whether professional, familial, or friendly, finding support can be helpful in getting through the holidays.  

Here are some ways to combat seasonal affective disorder:

1. Tell Family or Friends: Telling your friends or family what you are going through can help them understand why the holidays may be difficult for you. It could also lead to some extra support you may need during this time.

2. Reach Out to a Professional: Sometimes it can be tough reaching out to friends and family when you are going through a tough time. A professional can lend a non-judgemental ear and can help you learn coping skills for the future.

3. Use Light Therapy: Using a light box for 20-30 minutes per day can mimic the benefits of the sun during the winter when the sun is out for a shorter period of time. 

Seasonal affective disorder is not the only thing that gets people down during the holidays. Financial stress, busy schedules, and family dynamics can all add unwanted depression and anxiety to anyone trying to move through the hustle and bustle. Recently experiencing a loss or a separation from a loved one can also add to feeling sad, lonely, and isolated. The pressure of getting food made, wrapping gifts, and hosting family can be overwhelming leading to stress. 

Here are some tips to combat holiday stress:

●      Plan Ahead: The holidays often bring up several get-togethers, events, and other commitments that take place on the same days. Plan your schedule ahead of time and prioritize your gatherings as best as you can. If you are hosting, create a menu, and don’t be afraid to ask guests to bring sides or desserts!

●      Budget: Financial stress is often the culprit of irritability, depression, and anxiety during the holidays. Be sure to create a budget if there are multiple people you are buying for this year. Better yet, buy throughout the year in order to avoid last minute spending sprees.

●      Maintain Healthy Habits: The holidays are often a big reason for ruining healthy habits. Filling up on fruits and vegetables can be a great way to add freshness to any meal or spread.

●      Be Realistic: No one is expecting you to have a perfect holiday, so it is okay if you have to change plans or do something different than you have always done. Enjoy the people you have around you, make the effort to connect if you cannot be everywhere in person. 

In summary, it’s normal for people to struggle with feelings of sadness, anxiety, and feeling out of it, but if you feel this way more than usual or have a hard time getting out if the funk you are in, it may be a good idea to reach out for professional help. We at Therapy Cincinnati have therapists who can see you within 7-10 days of reaching out, so please don’t hesitate to reach out if you think you could benefit from talking with someone.

What Is Masked Depression In Kids?

As a parent it can be difficult to know when your child is suffering from depression – after all, they are just kids!

However, there are signs you can look out for that might suggest they are struggling with something more serious than just typical childhood angst.

If you want more resources concerning teenage/childhood depression feel free to connect with us to find the right child therapist in Cincinnati.

What is masked depression?

Masked depression is a term that was actually used back in the 70’s and 80’s, and has mostly been retired since then. However, it has come back into use recently when describing how children may be feeling, since children are especially good at hiding symptoms that may indicate depression. Masked depression, or smiling depression, is essentially the condition wherein a person (or teenager/child in this instance), is experiencing the physical symptoms of depression but they are not showing /feeling the psychological and/or mood symptoms that come along with depression. Some children with depression have been known to walk around smiling, and appearing to be having fun and enjoying themselves. Hence the term, “masked depression”.

A child or teenager who's struggling with depression may:

• Have changes in eating habits (e.g., binge eating)

• Have trouble sleeping or sleeping too much

• Lose interest in things they used to enjoy doing (e.g., sports)

• An unexplained decrease in grades

• Isolating themselves from friends and family

• Finding it harder to have open conversations with your child

All this may occur while your child may seem like their normal self.

How to know if your teenager might be suffering from masked depression?

Depression in children, and teenagers in particular can be hard to spot. Their symptoms are very different from adults and they normally try to hide their feelings from their parents, possibly out of fear or shame. Parents need to be aware of the signs that their child might be suffering from masked depression.

Teenagers may also become defensive toward their parents if their parents did question them as to whether or not they may be feeling depressed.

Since masked depression can be somewhat tricky to notice with the lack of psychological mood changes, it’s possible that the teenager/child doesn’t even realize they are experiencing this type of depression.

Why it’s important to be looking for masked depression in young people

Depression is a serious illness that affects the body and mind. The signs of depression can be subtle, but they are often present in young people who are experiencing it. Research has shown that approximately 13% of teens in the US struggled with depression, and that number has increased exponentially during Covid. It’s important to be on the lookout for depression in our children as it can lead to other mental health issues and physical health problems if left unchecked.

One of the biggest ways we can help a child improve their mood and reduce feelings of depression is through talking about what they are going through. Very simply, feelings of depression thrive on secrecy, shame, and trying to let others know what we are going through. Some have even suggested that the core of depression may be a repression of feelings, especially anger. With this in mind, it’s critical that parents be able to be on the lookout for a change in mood and behavior of their child.

It's important for us as parents not only because of this increased risk factor but also because many of our children will experience some form of adversity during their lives—and without proper support systems and coping mechanisms in place, before an event occurs, those events could lead them down an unhealthy and lonely path.

Conclusion

It’s never too late to start helping your children develop healthy habits.

Even if you aren’t worried or have any suspicions that your child might be suffering from masked depression, you should take the time to sit down and talk with your child or teenager about depression in general so that they know and understand you love them and will always be available to them if they need your support and help if they ever do struggle with any type of depression.

Contact us if you need teen therapy in Cincinnati or more parenting resources to help with your child’s mental health needs. 

Outrunning Fear: How To Cope With The News About Eliza Fletcher

Author Margaret Atwood once said: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Atwood’s chilling words sum up what nearly all women are feeling in response to the recent tragedy of Eliza Fletcher. But Eliza Fletcher’s story is not the first of its kind, a reality of which many women are painfully aware. The fact is many women are unable to embrace the benefits of an early morning run because they are afraid of stories like this one. Sadly, this fear is valid. Fear is an appropriate and completely understandable response to the recent news.

Many women are experiencing a very real trauma response in the aftermath of the news surrounding Eliza Fletcher. Not only has the tragedy aggravated the pre-existing fear that nearly all women have in general, but women who have experienced being stalked, attacked in public, or assaulted, may be especially triggered, and feel as if “it’s happening again.” Unfortunately, when emotionally triggering news occurs, women are once again faced with a traumatizing reality: the world is not always safe.

This sad reality often elicits a sense of paralyzing fear, and because fear can feel like an unsolvable problem, feelings of helplessness may also be experienced. Emotional dysregulation is a common trauma response, and it is our desire to partner with women to help them heal and emotionally recalibrate.

If you are currently coping with fear as a result of the news regarding Eliza Fletcher, then we encourage your efforts to process the fear. Here are three suggestions for coping with emotionally triggering news:

1.      Practice self-care. Traumatic responses are very similar to a PTSD response, and self-care can be helpful for mindfully returning to the present moment. Self-care looks different for everyone. For some, self-care may be a time of rest, reflection, processing, nurturing, releasing, or all the above. The point of self-care is to restore your inner sense of calm and promote emotional regulation, so any healthy activity that promotes a sense of well-being and safety is encouraged. Breathing exercises are an especially helpful way for working through a triggered moment of dysregulation, because it triggers your mind in a positive way to recalibrate to calm. For other mindful coping exercises please read: 5 Ways to cope with PTSD by yourself

2.      Keep calm and carry on. Some women, especially women who enjoy running, may choose to express self-love by facing their fears head on. If you decide to cope with your triggers by keeping calm and carrying on, then we support you. You have every right to go for a run whenever you feel ready.

Running safety tips:

·        Run with a partner or in a group whenever possible

·        Avoid earbuds or only use one

·        Bring your cellphone and download one of the geo-tracking safety apps for runners

·        Carry a flashlight or wear a headlamp

·        Know your route and avoid dark/isolated areas

·        Have a few different routes and switch them up

·        Run with a handheld self-defense device (many are designed for female runners)

·        Make sure a trusted friend or family member knows your running routine, schedule, and route

3.      Seek professional support.
You are not alone. If you are struggling to cope with your emotional triggers, then working collaboratively with one of our compassionate, trauma-informed, and certified EMDR Therapists at Therapy Cincinnati can be a healing step towards resolving traumatic trigger symptoms and emotions associated with trauma. If you would like to learn more about how trauma therapy works, please contact us today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.  

The process of healing and coping with traumatic emotional triggers is an act of bravery, and we want to applaud the more than 2,100 people who showed up to symbolically complete Eliza’s morning run in her honor. The strength and healing that is found when we come together and refuse to give in to fear is a true testament to the human spirit. Fear can run circles in the mind, but fear will never outrun the courage of a woman.  

Trauma and PTSD treatment in Cincinnati

Therapy Cincinnati is a mental health clinic specializing in EMDR, PTSD treatment, and trauma therapy for women located in the Cincinnati area (and via telehealth!), and we are ready to partner with you on your journey towards growth and healing. Learn more about us and how we work.

Anxious Attachment: How Your Childhood Shapes Your Relationships

Dating is a walk in the park.

But, if you have an anxious attachment style, that park can often feel like… Jurassic Park.

Meeting new people, your face lighting up at the sound of a text notification, and butterflies in your stomach are all very exciting feelings.

But, they don’t come without thoughts like:

“ I haven’t heard from them in 4 hours, are they mad at me?”

“ They didn’t reply to my text 30 mins ago but they posted an Instagram story 5 minutes ago, they must hate me.”

“ I like them way more than they like me.”

“I’ll never be good enough for them.”

According to the book, Attached: The new science of adult attachment and how it can help you find and keep love, roughly 50% of the population is securely attached, 20% are anxiously attached, 25% are avoidant and 5% are fearful.

What is anxious attachment?

Anxious attachment, sometimes called anxious ambivalent, is one of the three insecure attachment styles developed in early childhood.

What causes anxious attachment?

According to John Bowlby, a psychoanalyst and psychiatrist, a child’s relationship with their caretaker determine how the child will approach relationships and social interactions throughout life.

Anxious attachment most commonly manifests as a result of inconsistent parenting.

Examples of inconsistent parenting:

-        Inability to make decisions or provide strong leadership

-        Poor boundaries and structure

-        Neglect

-        Invalidating feelings and experiences

This inconsistency makes the child unsure of what to expect from their parents in the future.

Parents may also use their child as a way to satiate their own desires for love and emotional closeness instead of meeting their child’s needs. This manifests most commonly in overprotective and intrusive parenting.

Signs of an Anxious Attachment Style

-        Low self-esteem: inability to think highly of themselves

-        Intense fear of abandonment and rejection

-        Needing constant reassurance that they are loved

-        Intense jealousy

-        See themselves as unable to self-regulate

-        Opting for self-destructive strategies to cope: ruminating, blaming themselves, wishful thinking

-        People pleasing: working tirelessly to be liked and approved by others

-        Codependency: over-reliance on a romantic partner for emotional needs

-        Tendency to become clingy

How Does an Anxious Attachment Style Show Up in Adults?

People with anxious attachment styles tend to be more insecure about relationships with others, and may find it harder to connect with other people. They also can easily break away from relationships and other situations that would cause securely attached people to have emotional distress. They also tend to be hypervigilant for any sign that a close relationship might be changing, and people may often tell them they are overreacting to simple, innocent things. For example, someone who has an insecure attachment style may have a close friend or a partner who may not instantly respond to calls and text from them. Instead of reassuring themselves that they are probably just busy with something and they will get back to them, someone who has an insecure attachment style may immediately start thinking that they upset their friend or partner, or they may start thinking about how their friend or partner didn’t make eye contact yesterday when they asked them how their day was. They may then start imagining all kinds of scenarios why their friend or partner is upset at them, even though what they come up with sounds farfetched.

Another very common scenario is where someone with an insecure attachment style asks others for frequent reassurance that they still love and care about them. The other person may get annoyed at how often they need reassurance, which in turn can make someone with an insecure attachment style feel guilty and a burden to other people. They may also think their need for frequent reassurance is making the other person more distant from them. These feelings however just increase the need for reassurance from their friend or partner, which creates a cycle that is very hard to stop.

Can you change your attachment style?

Good News. Yes, you can change your attachment style however it does take time and effort. Think about it – your attachment style is a result of years and years of learning how to interact with people, so to change that requires time and patience.

There are a few ways to change your attachment style.

1)     Secure Relationships: “Earned security” is a term we use to describe where a relationship with a securely attached person can bring a sense of stability and create emotional closeness. This can cause a shift in personal beliefs and patterns allowing for a secure attachment to develop. In other words, having a positive and trusting relationship with someone as an adult can help us begin to unlearn old beliefs about others and how we relate to them.

2)     Independent Self Reflection: You can help heal your insecure attachment style by analyzing the way you show up in your relationships (especially with a romantic partner). By recognizing your personal beliefs in relationships, you can begin to thoughtfully look for opportunities to grow. Journaling and other self-reflection practices can help you make sense of childhood experiences and begin to heal.

3)     Talk to a mental health professional: Because attachment styles are so subtle, working with a therapist may be the most beneficial way to make significant improvements in your attachment style and relationships. A therapist can help you see patterns, behaviors, and beliefs that you may not even realize that you have. A therapist can also help you gently begin to change the way you interact with others, in part by practicing different situations with you and seeing what comes up for you as you navigate through those situations.

4)     Working through the past: One of the most helpful pieces in learning a new attachment style is making sense of what you experienced as a child. This allows you to develop a coherent narrative about what happened to you as a child, which helps you shift how you feel about yourself and the things that you learned and experienced.