Are All EMDR Therapists Equal?

You’ve heard about EMDR therapy, or maybe you’ve done extensive research about it, and now you’re ready to find an EMDR therapist. It shouldn’t be so hard to find someone who can help – just do some quick googling and you should find a list of local therapists pretty quickly, right?

Then the confusion sets in. These therapists all sound the same, so how do I know who’s “good” and who can help me? Are all these EMDR therapists equally trained? What difference is there between them anyway?

As a local Cincinnati therapist that specializes in using EMDR, trains other therapists in how to use EMDR, and has one of the largest EMDR practices in the area, this is a topic very close to my heart. We’re passionate about people getting the help they need to start living a better quality of life. People often hear about EMDR, but don’t know how to find someone they can trust who is competent in EMDR. In this blog, we’ll peel back the curtain about EMDR training and how you can make sure you are finding a qualified EMDR therapist.

What’s The Problem?

Let’s start with a question people often have: If someone is EMDR trained that means they can help me by providing EMDR therapy, right? Not so fast. The truth is that not every EMDR therapist has the same level of expertise, and the quality of EMDR therapy varies widely depending on the skill of the therapist. EMDR is an intricate technique that requires more than just a weekend training or a certificate to be truly effective.

Part of my motivation in writing this blog is the amount people over the years who have come to us after having had a negative experience with a previous EMDR therapist. After talking to these clients, it becomes clear that the “EMDR therapy” that they did was not in fact EMDR, or it was a very distorted version of EMDR. Let’s understand why there’s such a wide range of skill among EMDR therapists, and to do that we have to better understand how therapists are trained in EMDR and how that training is done.

How EMDR Therapists Are Trained

Let’s start with how therapists magically transform into EMDR therapists 😊 A therapist signs up with a local organization that is running an EMDR training, usually in Cincinnati, but it can be anywhere. These organizations have trainers whose job it is to train therapists in how to properly do EMDR. Over 5 days of training, the therapist learns how to do EMDR therapy, and is then able to begin using EMDR therapy with their clients.

A Gap in EMDR Training

One of the reasons for the variation in skill among EMDR therapists is that there is no standardized requirement for EMDR training. While the EMDR International Association (EMDRIA), is the recognized source of EMDR training in the field, they do not hold a trademark over the term “EMDR”. That means that virtually anyone can offer an EMDR training.

Taking this to the extreme, technically speaking someone who has no knowledge at all about EMDR can offer an EMDR training to whomever wants to take it. Those therapists could then call themselves EMDR therapists. I want to highlight that I have never heard of this happening, but that fact that it’s technically possible shows some of the weak links in how easy it is for a therapist to call themselves an “EMDR therapist”.

No Knowledge Test to Assess Competency

A surprising fact about EMDR training is that there’s no knowledge test to determine if a therapist has truly mastered the skill. Imagine going to a doctor who has read about a surgery technique but has never been tested on it – that’s a little unsettling, right? The same concept applies to EMDR. While the training can offer information and practice, and people who want to learn how to do EMDR will gain a tremendous amount from the training, therapists are not tested on the material they learned and how well they know it.

Again, technically speaking, you could have a therapist who attends an EMDR training, and they spend the entire time on their phone playing games and watching Tik Tok’s. This therapist would receive the exact same certificate for attending the EMDR training as the therapist next to them who truly put in the effort to learn how to do EMDR. Not only that, these 2 hypothetical therapists would be considered equally trained, and they can both call themselves EMDR trained therapists.

Again, I want to stress that the majority of therapists who go for training in EMDR are truly serious about learning how to do EMDR, but the lack of testing for knowledge means that there’s no way to easily know if someone took the EMDR training seriously and is in fact a qualified EMDR therapist.

EMDR Skill Isn’t “Black and White”

Probably the biggest misconception that people have of EMDR is that it’s a skill someone either has or doesn’t have, like riding a bike. People often assume that once a therapist learns how to do EMDR, they’re fully equipped to use it with clients. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is that the basic EMDR training that therapists do to learn how to do EMDR therapy is actually only the beginning of learning how to do EMDR. EMDR therapists who regularly use EMDR learn much more advanced techniques such as Flash, EMDR 2.0, parts work, and many other techniques that make a significant difference in how effective they are with the EMDR that they do. They also get additional training in how to help clients safely work through the trauma that comes up in EMDR without re-traumatizing the client again.

An Analogy

To explain this better, I like to use a baseball analogy. Let’s imagine you have a new baseball player who has been fully trained in how to hit a baseball, while one of players on their team has played about 200 games of baseball so far. While both have been equally trained in how to hit a baseball, the player who has played 200 games already is light years ahead of the new player. Because of their experience, they can make small adjustments that make a difference, like figuring out what type of pitch might be coming next, how to hit the ball to a certain part of the field, and how to modify the way they hold the bat in certain situations. These are all things the new baseball player can only dream of doing.

In much the same way, the difference in skill between an EMDR therapist who has done hundreds of hours of EDMR sessions and one who has only done a few hours of EMDR is large. Suffice it to say you will have a completely different experience with a therapist who has extensive EMDR experience.  

The Skill of Regular EMDR Practice

Just like any skill, EMDR requires constant practice to get good at it. Yet, not all therapists who receive EMDR training actively use it with clients. Some may take the training as a way to broaden their skillset but they rarely, if ever, put it into practice. Here's the thing: when therapists don't use EMDR very often, they can get shaky on the details and unsure about what to do at key points, making it harder to help their clients through the process smoothly. Even seasoned EMDR therapists often have to make decisions on which direction to go in EMDR, and an inexperienced EMDR therapist may be unsure if they are making the right decisions, or if they are using EMDR correctly.

Think of it like playing an instrument – someone who practices daily is far more proficient than someone who only picks it up occasionally.

Trauma Specialization Matters

EMDR is most commonly used for trauma recovery, but not all EMDR-trained therapists specialize in trauma work. Trauma therapy involves understanding the unique ways trauma impacts the mind and body, as well as recognizing potential triggers and emotional responses that clients may experience. A therapist who specializes in trauma is much more likely to have a deeper understanding of how to help clients during the often intense process of working through the trauma that can come up during EMDR. Without a trauma-focused background, even a well-trained EMDR therapist may struggle to address the complexities that arise with trauma survivors.

The Story of Cincinnati and EMDR Therapist Training

For those of us living in Cincinnati, it can also be helpful to understand the change in training that our therapist community has recently experienced, and how that may impact the training your therapist may have in EMDR. Up until a few years ago, there was no local EMDR training offered in our area. To get trained in EMDR, a therapist had to travel to a different city. I myself went to Louisville where a local training was offered at the time.

This was both a good and bad thing. It was bad because it limited the number of EMDR therapists in our community which meant it was harder for people to receive EMDR therapy. However, in a way it was good because those therapists who took the time and effort to travel to get EMDR trained were much more likely to embrace it and become highly skilled in EMDR.

A few years ago, a few organizations began to offer EMDR training in the Queen city. As a result, there has been a large increase in the number of EMDR therapists in our area, which is a very positive development for those who can benefit from EDMR therapy. However, the large number of EMDR therapists can also make it harder to find someone who offers quality EMDR therapy.

So What Should I Do Now?

The next obvious step is to help explain how to help you find a good EMDR therapist here in town. However, that topic itself will require some explanation and would make this blog too long. In our next EMDR blog post, we’ll review how to find a quality EMDR therapist in Cincinnati, what questions to ask your therapist, and how to know if a therapist is properly trained in EMDR. Stay tuned!

Ready to Start Your EMDR Journey?

Your path to healing deserves the guidance of a properly trained and experienced EMDR therapist. Here's how you can take the next step:

1. Schedule a Consultation: Contact our office for a free 15-minute phone consultation where we can discuss your specific needs and how EMDR might help.

2. Ask Questions: During your consultation, ask about our EMDR training, experience, and approach to treatment. We're happy to share our qualifications and explain how we can help.

3. Get Started: If we're a good fit, we'll create a personalized treatment plan that incorporates EMDR therapy in a way that feels safe and comfortable for you.

Don't wait to begin your healing journey. Get started by scheduling your free consultation right now on our website. Our experienced team of EMDR therapists is here to support you with the highest quality care.

What is The Praise-Punishment Cycle?

Imagine this: one moment, your partner showers you with praise, making you feel on top of the world. The next, they withdraw affection or criticize you, leaving you scrambling to figure out what went wrong. This rollercoaster of emotions is a hallmark of the Praise-Punishment Cycle, a common dynamic in unhealthy relationships. This dynamic can create confusion, emotional exhaustion, and a deep sense of self-doubt. Understanding this cycle is a critical first step toward breaking free and reclaiming your sense of self-worth,

Relationships are meant to bring us joy, connection, and security. But in some relationships, manipulation and control can replace mutual respect and love. If you’re in the Cincinnati area and struggling with anxiety or relational challenges, understanding this cycle is a crucial first step toward finding balance and peace through therapy for your relationship.

What Is the Praise-Punishment Cycle?

The praise-punishment cycle is a manipulation tactic where approval (praise) and disapproval (punishment) are used to control another person. In this cycle, praise is doled out to reinforce behaviors that align with the controlling person’s expectations, while punishment follows any actions they disapprove of.

For example, you might be showered with compliments and affection when you agree with their opinions or meet their demands. But if you challenge them or assert your own needs, they may withdraw their kindness, criticize you, or become passive-aggressive. Over time, this creates a toxic pattern where you feel compelled to earn their approval and avoid their disapproval, even at the cost of your own well-being.

Why the Cycle Feels So Powerful

Praise is a potent motivator. When someone we care about acknowledges us, it can feel incredibly validating. In a healthy relationship, this validation comes freely and without conditions. However, in the praise-punishment cycle, praise becomes rare and contingent, turning it into something you have to "earn."

This creates a psychological trap. The moments of praise feel like relief after the stress of punishment, making them even more powerful. It becomes easy to mistake this conditional praise for love or care, even when it’s a form of manipulation. The cycle perpetuates itself as you work harder to avoid punishment and chase fleeting moments of approval.

How Punishment Is Used to Control

Punishment in this cycle doesn’t always look dramatic or obvious. It can be subtle, like giving the silent treatment, withholding affection, or using sarcastic or dismissive comments. These actions are designed to make you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or ashamed.

The unpredictability of punishment keeps you on edge. You might start second-guessing your actions or overanalyzing their reactions, trying to avoid their disapproval. This creates a sense of walking on eggshells, where their moods and responses dictate your behavior. Over time, this can erode your confidence and make you feel powerless.

The Impact on Self-Esteem

One of the hidden effects of this cycle is how it impacts your sense of self and confidence, often without you realizing it. It can make you question your feelings and what you are experiencing. You might start thinking, "Am I overreacting?" or "Should I even feel this way?" because you’ve been taught that your natural responses are wrong. Over time, it gets harder to trust your own instincts, and you start relying more on others’ reactions to feel okay about yourself. It’s exhausting, and it makes you feel disconnected from your own emotions, like you can’t even trust what you’re feeling anymore.

People caught in this cycle also start to second-guess their every move, wondering if they’ve done something wrong that justifies the punishment. They may think, "Did I say something wrong?" or "Was my behavior off?" This leads to an exhausting mental loop of overanalyzing interactions and replaying scenarios to figure out what they could have done differently. The fear of making another mistake grows, further entrenching self-doubt.

The Emotional Toll of the Cycle

Living within the praise-punishment cycle can take a significant toll on your mental and emotional health. You might feel constantly anxious, unsure of where you stand or what will trigger their disapproval next. This kind of emotional manipulation can lead to feelings of isolation, low self-esteem, and self-doubt.

You might also find yourself questioning your own reality. When someone alternates between being loving and punishing, it creates confusion. You may start to believe that their praise is a sign of love and that their punishment is your fault. This is a hallmark of manipulation—it shifts responsibility onto you, leaving you feeling trapped and unsure of your own perceptions.

Breaking Free from the Cycle

Breaking free from the praise-punishment cycle takes courage and support. Start by setting clear boundaries. Boundaries communicate what behaviors you will and won’t tolerate, helping to protect your emotional health.

It’s also crucial to reconnect with your own sense of worth. Remind yourself that you don’t need to earn someone’s approval to be deserving of love and respect. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends, family, or a therapist who specializes in relationships can help you rebuild your confidence.

The Role of Professional Support

Seeking professional support can be life-changing if you’re navigating a relationship that involves the praise-punishment cycle. Without outside support, it’s very difficult to get out of an unhealthy relationship that uses punishment. A trained therapist can help you identify patterns of manipulation, explore their impact on your mental health, and develop strategies for breaking free. In Cincinnati, there are some therapists who have the training and experience to guide you through this process.

Therapy provides a safe space to process your emotions and gain clarity about your experiences. It can also help you rebuild your self-esteem and learn how to establish healthier relationships in the future. Remember, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Healing After the Cycle

Once you’ve stepped out of the praise-punishment cycle, healing becomes the focus. This is a time to rediscover who you are outside of the relationship. What are your passions, values, and dreams? Reconnecting with these aspects of yourself can help you rebuild a sense of identity and independence.

Self-compassion is essential during this process. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, from relief to grief, as you heal. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgment, and remind yourself that healing is not linear—it’s a journey with ups and downs.

Creating Healthier Relationships

As you heal, you’ll likely start to reflect on what a healthy relationship looks like. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. They don’t involve control or manipulation, and they don’t require you to earn love through compliance.

In healthy relationships, praise is genuine and unconditional, and conflicts are addressed with empathy rather than punishment. These are the kinds of connections that allow you to grow and thrive, rather than shrink or feel controlled. Relationship therapy in Cincinnati with an experienced therapist can help you learn how find a healthier relationship.

Reclaiming Your Power

If you’re read this blog post, chances are you understand what it’s like to go through this, or have a loved one who is going through this. The journey to being in a better relationship may not be easy, but it’s one worth taking. With the right support, whether from trusted loved ones or a professional therapist, you can break free from manipulation and create a life filled with respect, authenticity, and peace.

You are stronger than you realize, and you have the power to choose a life free from control. Healing is possible, and your future is brighter than you might imagine. Take the first step, and know that you don’t have to walk this path alone. In Cincinnati, the relationship therapists at Therapy Cincinnati have extensive experience helping people like you change their relationships for the better. We are here to be a part of this healing journey, and you can get started by reaching out to us today.

How Therapy Can Help You Navigate Today's Crushing Expectations

Imagine this: It's 11 PM, and you're scrolling through Instagram one last time before bed. Your former classmate just posted about her promotion at a tech startup. Another friend is traveling through Europe while building her online business. Meanwhile, you're in your apartment, surrounded by job application tabs, wondering if you're somehow falling behind in life – at 24.

Your day was productive – you crushed it at work, hit the gym, meal prepped, and even managed to answer some emails. But somehow, it still doesn't feel like enough. There's always someone doing more, achieving more, looking more put together. The goalposts for "success" keep moving, and you're exhausted from trying to keep up.

Sound familiar? You're living in a time where being "good enough" seems impossible. Your Instagram feed is a highlight reel of perfect careers, bodies, relationships, and aesthetically pleasing morning routines. The message is clear: you should be building your career, staying fit, maintaining a perfect apartment, building a side hustle, and somehow finding time for self-care – all while making it look effortless.

This isn't just about having high standards. It's about navigating a world where the expectations placed on young women have never been higher, more visible, or more overwhelming. And if you're feeling crushed under the weight of it all? You're not alone, and more importantly, you're not failing.

You're Not Imagining It: Why Everything Feels Harder Now

Let's be real about what young women face today. Your Instagram feed has become a constant showcase of peers landing dream jobs, traveling the world, and somehow maintaining perfect fitness routines – all while "casually" building successful side hustles. It's not just about posting pretty photos anymore; it's a highlight reel of achievements that makes you question if you're somehow falling behind.

The academic and career pressure is equally intense. Perfect grades, impressive internships, leadership roles, networking – and don't forget to "find your passion" while you're at it. You're expected to be constantly upskilling and climbing the ladder before you've even found your footing. And of course, you’re supposed to be making enough money to be able to afford everything in life. The message is clear: being good at your job isn't enough anymore; you need to be exceptional at everything.

The Breaking Point: Recognizing When Pressure Becomes Too Much

It's easy to tell yourself that everyone deals with stress, that this is just part of being a young adult today. But there's a difference between normal pressure and the kind that starts taking over your life. Let's talk about what that actually looks like – because sometimes we're so used to pushing through, we don't realize how heavy the burden has become.

Your body has a way of sending signals when the pressure is too much. Maybe you're having trouble sleeping, even though you're exhausted all the time. Those tension headaches are becoming your regular companion. Your stomach is constantly in knots, or you're getting sick more often than usual. These aren't signs of weakness – they're your body's way of waving a red flag.

The Emotional Toll You Can't Ignore

The constant pressure doesn't just affect your body. You might find yourself crying over small setbacks that wouldn't normally phase you. Or maybe you're feeling numb, disconnected from the things that used to bring you joy. That critical inner voice is getting louder, and the anxiety about not measuring up is becoming a constant background noise in your mind. The joy of pursuing your goals gets replaced by a constant fear of not measuring up. This isn't just stress – it's your mind telling you that the pressure has become too much.

Look at how your behaviors might be changing. Are you avoiding social media because it leaves you feeling worthless? Turning down opportunities because you're afraid of not being perfect? Obsessing over every detail of your work until 3 AM?  These changes in your daily habits aren't just stress – they're signs that the pressure is affecting your quality of life.

Breaking Free: What Real Support Looks Like

So how does sitting in a room (or on a video call) with a therapist help with all of this? Let's break down what actually happens when you start therapy for overwhelming societal pressure and performance expectations.

Therapy isn't just about venting your frustrations – it's about breaking free from these crushing expectations. Your therapist helps you understand why certain pressures hit so hard and guides you in separating others' expectations from what you actually want for your life.

Through therapy, you learn to build genuine self-worth that isn't tied to your achievements or social media metrics. You develop practical skills for setting boundaries with work, social media, and even your own inner critic. Most importantly, you learn to define success on your terms, not by society's impossible standards.

Taking the First Step: What Getting Help Actually Looks Like

Maybe you're thinking therapy could help, but you're not sure where to start. Or perhaps you're worried that seeking help means you're "not handling it well enough" (there's that pressure again!). Let's break down what actually happens when you decide to try therapy.

You don't need to wait for a breaking point to seek therapy. If you're feeling caught in the cycle of constant comparison and pressure, that's enough reason to reach out. It's not about "not being able to handle it" – it's about being smart enough to recognize when you need support.

Finding The Right Therapist

Finding the right therapist is simpler than you might think. Look for someone who understands the unique pressures young women face today. Many therapists either see children or older adults, or they are generalists and see anyone from ages 3-100. While they might be a great therapist, they may not understand your mindset and where you’re coming from. Your therapist should get it – really get it – about hustle culture, social media pressure, and the complexity of building a life in today's world. For this reason, our therapists offer free consultation calls so you can make sure you aren’t wasting your time with someone who doesn’t understand you.

That first session? It's just a conversation. No pressure to have everything figured out or to know exactly what you want to work on. You'll talk about what's weighing on you and what changes you'd like to see in your life. Whether it's in-person or online, therapy can fit into your schedule, and some therapists accept insurance to make it accessible.

Beyond the Highlight Reel: Your Next Step

Living up to today's expectations can feel like an impossible game – one where the rules keep changing and the finish line keeps moving. But you don't have to keep running yourself ragged trying to meet impossible standards. In a world that's constantly telling you to do more, be more, and achieve more, taking care of your mental health isn't just self-care – it's a revolutionary act.

Ready to start building a life that feels authentic to you, not just perfect on paper? Take that first step today. Schedule your free consultation right now on our website to talk with one of our therapists and see if we are a good fit for you. Together, we can help you create a life that feels as good as it looks.

How Anxiety Therapy Can Improve Your Overall Quality of Life

You've been dealing with anxiety for a while now. Maybe it shows up when you're trying to sleep at night, your mind racing with all the "what-ifs" about tomorrow. Or perhaps it's that constant knot in your stomach during work meetings, making you second-guess every word you say. For some of you, it might be that overwhelming feeling of dread when trying to make simple decisions, like what to make for dinner or whether to accept that dinner invitation.

You've tried everything you can think of – meditation apps, self-help books, endless Google searches about anxiety management. Some days are better than others, but that underlying anxiety is still there, affecting your life in ways both big and small. You're starting to wonder if therapy might help, but you're not quite sure how it would actually make a difference in your daily life.

Here's the thing about anxiety – it's incredibly common, yet deeply personal in how it affects each person. That racing heart, those sleepless nights, the constant worry – they're all real, and they all deserve attention and care. But more importantly, they can all be managed and improved with the right support and guidance.

Breaking the Cycle: How Therapy Actually Works for Anxiety

You might be wondering what therapy can actually do that's different from all the self-help techniques you've already tried. Sure, talking about your anxiety might feel good in the moment, but how does it create real, lasting change? That's where the science of therapy comes in – and it's probably not what you think.

Think of anxiety like a smoke alarm in your brain that's way too sensitive. It's going off at the smallest hint of smoke, even when there's no real fire. Therapy isn't just about talking through your feelings – it's about recalibrating that alarm system. Through therapy, you learn to recognize when your anxiety is giving you false alarms, and more importantly, how to respond differently when those alarms go off.

Here's what's actually happening in your brain when you're working with a therapist: you're creating new neural pathways, new ways of thinking and responding to stress. It's like having a skilled guide help you build new roads around the traffic jams in your mind. Those old anxiety highways don't disappear completely, but you're building better, more efficient routes to take instead.

But maybe the most powerful part? You're not doing this alone anymore. Having a therapist means having someone who understands the science of anxiety and can teach you specific techniques that work for your unique situation. They're not just listening – they're actively helping you develop tools that you can use anywhere, anytime.

Real People, Real Progress: What Anxiety Therapy Actually Looks Like

Let's look at how therapy has helped real people (names changed) manage different types of anxiety. Because sometimes, the best way to understand how therapy can help is to see how it's worked for others.

Meet Rachel, a 28-year-old marketing manager who used to have panic attacks before every presentation. "I'd spend hours over-preparing, barely sleep the night before, and still feel like I was going to pass out when speaking." Sound familiar? Through therapy, Rachel learned specific techniques to manage her performance anxiety. Now? She leads team meetings with confidence and recently got promoted to department head. "The anxiety isn't completely gone," she says, "but now I know how to work with it instead of fighting it."

Then there's Kate, 35, whose parental anxiety was taking over her life. Every playground visit was filled with worst-case scenarios, every minor cold felt like it could become an emergency. "I couldn't enjoy being a mom because I was constantly in panic mode." Through therapy, Kate learned to balance her protective instincts with rational thinking. "Now I can watch my kids play without spiraling into panic. I actually enjoy our time together instead of just surviving it."

For Mia, 23, social anxiety was holding her back from building the life she wanted. Dating? Terrifying. Making new friends after college? Even worse. Through EMDR therapy, she worked through past social traumas and built confidence. "I went from avoiding every social invitation to actually hosting game nights at my place. The difference is night and day."

Jenny, 32, thought her constant worry and burnout were just part of being a healthcare worker. "I couldn't sleep, couldn't relax, couldn't turn my brain off." Therapy helped her develop boundaries and stress management techniques that actually worked. "I learned that taking care of myself isn't selfish – it's necessary. Now I can be there for my patients without sacrificing my own wellbeing."

Finding Your Path: Different Ways Therapy Can Help Your Anxiety 

Not all anxiety therapy looks the same – and that's actually a good thing. Different approaches work for different people, and often, the best results come from combining techniques that work specifically for you. Let's break down some of the most effective approaches for anxiety.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Think of CBT as your anxiety detective work. It helps you spot the sneaky thought patterns that fuel your anxiety and teaches you how to challenge them. Maybe you always assume the worst will happen in social situations, or you believe every physical sensation means something's terribly wrong. CBT helps you recognize these patterns and replace them with more realistic thoughts. It's not about positive thinking – it's about accurate thinking.

EMDR Therapy: EMDR might sound a bit different from what you imagine therapy to be, and that's because it is. Instead of just talking about your anxiety, EMDR helps your brain process anxious memories and experiences that might be stuck in your nervous system. Using eye movements or other bilateral stimulation, EMDR helps your brain file away difficult experiences properly, reducing their emotional charge. It's particularly helpful if your anxiety stems from past experiences that still feel very present.

Parts Work Therapy: Ever feel like different parts of you are in conflict? Like one part wants to go to that social event, while another part is screaming to stay home? That's where parts work comes in. This approach helps you understand and work with these different aspects of yourself, rather than fighting against them. It's especially powerful for anxiety because it helps you understand where your anxious responses come from and how to work with them, not against them. 

Relationship-Focused Therapy: Think of this approach as a map for understanding your relationship patterns and how they fuel anxiety. It helps you spot those moments when past relationship experiences are triggering current anxiety – like assuming silence means rejection, or believing you need to be perfect to be loved. This type of therapy goes beyond just managing anxiety symptoms; it helps you understand why certain social situations or relationships trigger anxiety in the first place. You'll learn to build new patterns of relating to others, making it easier to form and maintain authentic connections without anxiety running the show. 

When Anxiety Shows Up: Real Solutions for Real Life

Let's talk about those everyday moments where anxiety likes to make an appearance – and how therapy helps you handle them differently. Because knowing how therapy works is one thing, but seeing how it plays out in your daily life? That's where the real change happens.

Morning Anxiety and Work Prep: Remember Rachel's story? Before therapy, her mornings were a tornado of "what-if" thoughts and panic about the workday ahead. Through therapy, she learned to transform her morning routine. Instead of spending hours over-preparing for meetings, she now has a realistic preparation strategy. More importantly, she learned how to recognize when her anxiety is talking versus when there's an actual need for concern. That's not just managing anxiety – that's transforming how you live your life.

Social Situations and Relationships: Think about those social situations that make your anxiety spike – maybe it's walking into a room full of people, or trying to maintain friendships when anxiety tells you to cancel plans. In therapy, you learn specific techniques for these moments. It's not about eliminating all anxiety (which isn't realistic anyway). Instead, you learn to navigate social situations while acknowledging your anxiety without letting it take the driver's seat.

Family Dynamics and Boundaries: Like Kate discovered, anxiety often shows up strongest in our closest relationships. Therapy helps you set healthy boundaries without guilt, communicate your needs clearly, and understand when anxiety is making you overprotect or overthink. You learn to trust your judgment while staying connected to those you care about. 

Taking the First Step: What to Expect When Starting Therapy

You're thinking about trying therapy for your anxiety – but what actually happens next? Let's break down the process so you know exactly what to expect, because sometimes the unknown can be the most anxiety-producing part.

First Steps: Finding Your Therapist: It's kind of like dating – not every therapist is going to be the right fit, and that's okay. Look for someone who specializes in anxiety and the specific type of therapy you're interested in. Our therapists offer free consultation calls, which is a great way to get a feel for their style and approach.

Your First Session: What Really Happens: That first session? It's really just a conversation. Your therapist will ask about what brought you in, what you're hoping to achieve, and how anxiety shows up in your life. You don't have to have everything figured out or know exactly what you want to work on. That's part of the process, and your therapist is there to help guide you.

Getting the Most from Therapy: Think of therapy as a collaboration. Your therapist brings their expertise about anxiety and therapeutic techniques, and you bring your expertise about yourself and your life. Together, you'll create a plan that actually works for you. Some weeks might feel more productive than others, and that's normal. The key is consistency and open communication with your therapist about what's working and what isn't. 

Taking Your Life Back from Anxiety: Your Next Step

Living with anxiety can feel like you're constantly playing defense in your own life – always reacting, always on edge, always preparing for the worst. But as you've seen from the stories shared here, therapy can help you move from surviving to truly living. It's not about eliminating anxiety completely (because some anxiety is actually normal and helpful). Instead, it's about changing your relationship with anxiety so it no longer calls the shots in your life.

Your story of transformation can start today. Take that first step by reaching out to us for a consultation call. You don't have to have everything figured out. You just need to be ready for things to be different.

What to Do When You Think You’re Ruining Your Children

Every mom has been there. You’re lying awake at night, replaying the day in your mind and feeling like you’ve somehow failed. Maybe you lost your temper, forgot something important, or compared yourself to another mom who seems to have it all together. You’re not alone. Many moms worry they’re “messing up” their kids or that their parenting isn’t good enough. Let’s take a deep breath and talk about why these feelings happen and how you can shift your mindset.

Why Moms Doubt Themselves

Motherhood is full of challenges, and with them often comes a heavy dose of self-doubt. Society puts immense pressure on moms to be perfect, from maintaining a spotless home to raising polite, high-achieving kids. Add social media into the mix, and it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short.

You may even find yourself questioning your every decision: Am I too strict? Too lenient? Did I spend enough quality time with them today? These thoughts can spiral into believing you’re somehow ruining your child’s future. Let’s be clear: just worrying about being a good mom shows how much you care.

Feeling Like You’re “Messing Up” Is Normal

It’s common for moms to feel like they’re not getting it right. Maybe you think you’re too impatient, or you fear that one bad day will define your child’s entire life. Here’s some reassurance: parenting is a journey, not a single moment. Kids are incredibly resilient, and they learn from seeing how you handle challenges, not just your successes.

This belief that you’re “messing up” your child often comes from perfectionism or fear. These feelings can make you overlook all the amazing things you’re doing—loving them, showing up for them, and trying your best.

Why Moms Seek Reassurance

When you feel unsure, it’s natural to look for reassurance. You might turn to friends, family, or parenting blogs hoping to hear, “You’re doing great!” While validation can be comforting, it’s important to build trust in yourself, too. The truth is, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Even those who seem like they have it all figured out are struggling with something behind the scenes.

Reassurance is valuable, but so is learning to challenge those nagging thoughts that tell you you’re failing. Let’s take a look at how you can challenge some of the more common negative thoughts as a mom.

Challenging Negative Thoughts About Parenting

When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m ruining my child,” pause and ask yourself: Is this really true? Are you basing this thought on facts, or is it just your inner critic talking? Often, these beliefs aren’t grounded in reality—they’re just fears amplified by stress or self-doubt.

Try reframing your thoughts. Instead of saying, “I yelled at my child; I’m a terrible mom,” try, “I had a tough moment, but I’m human, and I’ll make it right.” Repairing a moment of frustration by apologizing or reconnecting can teach your child valuable lessons about forgiveness and emotional resilience.

If this feels hard to do on your own, therapy can help you identify and challenge these negative thought patterns. A therapist who works with mom’s can provide tools to shift your mindset and build a healthier perspective on parenting.

What Really Shapes Your Child

It’s easy to hyperfocus on the mistakes you’ve made, but what truly shapes your child is the bigger picture of your relationship. Are you showing them love? Are you teaching them values and supporting their growth? Those are the things that matter most.

Kids don’t need a perfect parent; they need a present one. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers or if some days feel like a mess. What your child remembers is how you made them feel—safe, cared for, and supported.

Practical Ways to Shift Your Mindset

Here are some ways to break free from the “I’m ruining my child” mindset:

1. Focus on Wins: At the end of the day, list three things you did well as a mom, no matter how small. Maybe you packed their lunch or gave them a hug when they needed it. These little moments add up.

2. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a friend. If your best friend told you she felt like a bad mom, what would you say to her? Say those same things to yourself.

3. Educate Yourself, Gently: Parenting books and resources can offer helpful tips, but don’t let them overwhelm you. Take what works for your family and leave the rest.

4. Take Breaks: It’s okay to take time for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential for being the mom you want to be.

5. Seek Support: Therapy for yourself can help you unlearn negative ways of thinking, and help you see a more positive side of yourself. A therapist can also help you manage your stress and address any deeper fears you have about parenting.

When to Consider Professional Support

Sometimes, the weight of parenting feels too heavy to carry alone. Other times, you may be working on fighting off the negative thoughts but it may be too deep ungrained in you. If you’re stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, overwhelmed by guilt, or unsure how to address your child’s needs, reaching out for help can make all the difference.

Therapy for children can address your child’s emotional well-being, while therapy with a therapist who specializes in working with moms can help you work through the parenting challenges. There’s no shame in seeking guidance—parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and it’s okay to ask for support.

You’re Not Alone in This Journey

Feeling like you’re ruining your children doesn’t make you a bad mom; it makes you a caring one. These doubts are a sign of how much you love your child and want the best for them. Parenting is hard, but you’re not in this alone.

Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent, but there are plenty of good ones—and you’re one of them. Being able to acknowledge to yourself that you are trying to be a better parent is a big first step.

Moving Forward with Confidence

You’re not ruining your children. You’re loving them, showing up for them, and doing your best. And that’s enough. Every day is a new opportunity to show up for your child, imperfections and all. You don’t have to get it right every time—you just have to keep trying. With the right support, whether that’s a trusted friend, a parenting group, or therapy, ou can move forward with more confidence and peace of mind.

If you are looking for a therapist who can help support you with parenting challenges, the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati have several therapists who can help you. Take a look at our therapist profiles to find the therapist that you feel would be a good fit for you.

Why Depression Can Be Stronger Around the Holidays

The holiday season is often painted as the most wonderful time of the year, a time where everyone is magically bursting with inner joy. But why does it feel like the world is shoving happiness in your face while you’re struggling just to make it through the day? Glittering decorations, festive music, and constant reminders to celebrate can make feelings of sadness or isolation even stronger. If this sounds familiar, let me reassure you—you’re not weird for feeling this way. The truth is, for many people, the holidays are tough, and there are good reasons why depression can hit harder during this time of year.

Feeling the Weight of Loss More Intensely

The holidays have a way of shining a spotlight on the people and things we’ve lost. Whether it’s the absence of a loved one at a family gathering or a tradition that doesn’t feel the same anymore, grief can feel sharper during this season. Even if some time has passed, these reminders can bring emotions bubbling back to the surface.

If this is you, please know it’s okay to feel sad. You don’t have to “snap out of it” or pretend everything’s fine. Let yourself grieve in your own way.

When Old Wounds Start Hurting Again

Sometimes, the holidays dig up things from our past—old memories, difficult experiences, or even traumas we thought we had moved on from. A familiar song, a certain smell, or even the way the air feels can bring things back in ways we don’t expect. It’s like your brain has opened a dusty box you didn’t ask it to.

If you’ve felt this, you’re not overreacting or being too sensitive. Your feelings are valid. A therapist, especially one trained in trauma based approaches, can help you unpack these moments and make sense of why they’re affecting you now.

Family Gatherings Aren’t Always Peaceful

Family time during the holidays can be wonderful, but let’s be real—it can also be a lot. Old arguments, unspoken tensions, and high expectations can stir up stress. You might feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying to keep everyone happy, or bracing yourself for drama.

If this resonates with you, please hear this: You don’t owe anyone your emotional energy at the expense of your own well-being. It’s okay to set boundaries. You can even skip events that feel harmful.

Loneliness Can Feel Louder

If you’re single or don’t have a big social circle, the holidays can make that feel even more obvious. Everyone else seems coupled up or surrounded by loved ones, and you’re just trying to get through the season without feeling completely invisible, or standing out like a sore thumb.

You’re not alone in this feeling, and there’s nothing wrong with you for wanting connection. This might be a great time to start new traditions just for you—volunteer, host a cozy night in with a friend, or plan something you can genuinely look forward to.

The Pressure to Be Perfect Is Overwhelming

The holidays come with a lot of “shoulds.” You should have the perfect decorations. You should give the perfect gifts. You should look happy in every photo. Add social media into the mix, and it’s easy to feel like you’re failing.

Let’s be honest—no one has it all together, no matter how their life looks on Instagram. You don’t have to keep up with anyone else. Focus on what matters to you, even if that means scaling back or skipping the things that feel overwhelming.

How to Cope When Depression Peaks

While the holidays can amplify depression, there are ways to cope and find relief. Start by prioritizing self-care. Make time for activities that bring you comfort, whether that’s a walk in nature, journaling, or watching your favorite movie.

Setting boundaries is also key. If certain gatherings or traditions feel overwhelming, it’s okay to say no. Protecting your mental health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Consider reaching out to a trusted friend or therapist for support. Therapy for depression offers a safe space to express your feelings and develop coping strategies tailored to your needs.

The Importance of Professional Support

If the holidays are especially difficult, seeking professional help can make a difference. A therapist can help you process complex emotions, navigate family dynamics, and address past traumas that resurface. Therapy for depression provides not only relief but also tools to manage future challenges more effectively.

For those dealing with unresolved grief or trauma, specialized therapies like EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be particularly helpful. This approach targets the root of painful memories, allowing you to heal in a way that feels empowering.

Start Your Own Traditions

Who says you have to do things the same way every year? If old traditions feel painful or just don’t work for you anymore, create new ones that fit where you are now. Host a low-key movie night, bake cookies to donate, or spend the day volunteering.

New traditions can also be about reclaiming joy in small ways. Light a candle for someone you miss, write a letter to yourself, or decorate your space in a way that feels comforting. These small acts can bring a sense of control and purpose to a season that might otherwise feel overwhelming. 

You’re Not Broken—This Is Hard

If you’ve been beating yourself up for feeling down during the holidays, stop right there. You’re not broken, weak, or failing. This time of the year can be incredibly tough for so many reasons—grief, trauma, loneliness, stress—and feeling that way doesn’t make you abnormal.

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just be kind to yourself. Therapy can help you learn to treat yourself with compassion and give you the tools to handle whatever emotions come your way.

Moving Forward, One Step at a Time

The holidays might be heavy, but they don’t last forever. What you’re feeling right now won’t last forever, either. With the right support—whether that’s leaning on friends, creating new traditions, or starting therapy—you can get through this season and come out stronger on the other side.

You deserve to feel seen, heard, and supported. When you’re ready to process what this time period brings up for you, the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are ready and able to help.

How Activation Energy Caused by Trauma Is Held

Trauma affects us deeply, shaping not only our emotional experiences but also how our bodies and minds respond to the world around us. One way this happens is through the concept of activation energy. Activation energy refers to the heightened state of readiness or arousal that trauma imprints on our nervous system. This lingering energy, while protective in moments of danger, can become trapped, creating challenges long after the traumatic event has passed.

Understanding Activation Energy

When a traumatic event occurs, the body instinctively enters a fight, flight, or freeze response. This reaction is meant to help us survive by mobilizing all available energy toward dealing with the threat. Heart rates spike, breathing quickens, and muscles tense, ready for action.

In many cases, once the danger has passed, the body naturally returns to a state of calm. However, when trauma is unresolved, this energy can remain "stuck." It’s as if the body continues to hold onto that readiness for survival, even when there’s no immediate threat. This lingering activation can manifest in the form of anxiety, hypervigilance, or chronic stress.

Where Is Activation Energy Held?

Trauma doesn’t just live in our memories—it’s held in the body. Research shows that traumatic energy is often stored in the nervous system and muscles. Tight shoulders, clenched jaws, or an unrelenting sense of restlessness might all be signs of this stored activation energy.

For some, this energy can feel like a heavy weight in the chest or a constant fluttering in the stomach. Others might experience it as an inability to relax or a feeling of always being "on edge." These sensations are the body’s way of signaling that it hasn’t yet released the energy from the trauma.

The Role of the Nervous System

Our nervous system plays a central role in how activation energy is held. Trauma often disrupts the balance between the sympathetic nervous system (responsible for arousal) and the parasympathetic nervous system (responsible for relaxation). In a healthy state, these systems work together to help us respond to stress and recover.

However, trauma can cause the sympathetic nervous system to remain overactive. This creates a constant state of hyperarousal, where the body feels like it’s perpetually bracing for impact. Over time, this imbalance can take a toll, leading to issues such as chronic fatigue, digestive problems, or even autoimmune conditions.

The Emotional Weight of Activation Energy

Emotionally, activation energy can feel like a constant undercurrent of unease. Even in moments of safety or joy, there might be a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop. This happens because trauma alters the way the brain perceives danger.

The amygdala, which is responsible for processing threats, becomes hypersensitive after trauma. This heightened sensitivity means that even small stressors can trigger an exaggerated response. It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed or to react strongly to situations that others might find minor. This isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s the body’s way of trying to protect itself.

How Activation Energy Impacts Daily Life

When activation energy is held in the body, it can influence nearly every aspect of daily life. Relationships might feel strained because it’s difficult to trust or feel safe. Sleep might be elusive, as the body struggles to shift out of alert mode. Even moments of relaxation can feel uncomfortable, as the mind races with "what-ifs."

For some, this stored energy can lead to patterns of avoidance. Certain places, people, or situations may feel triggering, leading to a shrinking of the world around them. Over time, this can create a cycle of isolation, where the unresolved trauma continues to hold power.

Releasing Activation Energy

Releasing activation energy begins with creating safety—both physically and emotionally. Practices like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or gentle movement can help signal to the nervous system that it’s okay to relax. These techniques work by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps counteract the hyperarousal caused by trauma.

Therapeutic approaches like somatic experiencing or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are also highly effective in addressing stored trauma. These methods focus on helping the body process and release the energy held within, rather than simply talking about the experience.

For example, somatic experiencing involves tuning into the body’s sensations and allowing the energy to discharge naturally. This might look like noticing a tightness in the chest and allowing it to soften through intentional focus. EMDR, on the other hand, uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories, reducing their emotional charge.

The Importance of Professional Support

Most people find that healing from trauma is almost impossible to do alone. A trauma therapist can provide the tools, guidance, and support needed to begin to heal and recover from the trauma you’ve been through. They can help create a safe space for exploring and releasing activation energy in a way that feels manageable.

Therapy also helps address the root causes of trauma, rather than just its symptoms. This can lead to deeper healing, greater self-awareness, and a renewed sense of empowerment. Seeking help is a courageous step toward reclaiming control over your life.

Self-Compassion in the Healing Process

One of the most important aspects of healing is practicing self-compassion. Trauma can leave behind feelings of shame or self-blame, but it’s crucial to remember that your responses are not your fault. The body and mind are doing their best to protect you, even if those responses no longer serve you.

Give yourself permission to move at your own pace. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have setbacks. Celebrate the small victories—whether it’s noticing when your shoulders relax or feeling a moment of peace. These are signs that your body is learning to release the activation energy it’s been holding.

Building a Foundation for Resilience

As the body begins to release stored trauma, resilience grows. This doesn’t mean the past is forgotten, but rather that its grip loosens. You might find yourself better able to handle stress, connect with others, or feel present in the moment.

Incorporating practices like mindfulness, yoga, or creative expression can further support this process. These activities help rebuild the connection between mind and body, fostering a sense of wholeness. Over time, the nervous system learns that it’s safe to let go of the activation energy and embrace a calmer state.

A Journey Toward Freedom

The energy caused by trauma doesn’t have to stay stuck forever. With the right tools, support, and patience, it’s possible to release this energy and move toward a life of greater peace. Whether through therapy, self-care practices, or simply taking small steps each day, healing is within reach.

Releasing activation energy is not about erasing the past—it’s about transforming it. It’s about reclaiming your power and creating a future where you feel safe, grounded, and free. And most importantly, it’s about knowing that you deserve this healing, every step of the way.

If you’re ready to let go of the activation energy of trauma you have experienced, reach out to the expert trauma therapists at Therapy Cincinnati. We specialize in helping people heal from trauma, and we utilize cutting edge types of therapy, such as EMDR, Somatic therapy, and parts work/IFS.

Is EMDR Hypnosis, and How Is It Different?

As one of the larger EMDR therapist practices in the Cincinnati area, we often get asked by potential clients if EMDR is a form of hypnosis, and if not, how it is different. The truth is that Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and hypnosis are often misunderstood. Both are therapeutic techniques that can help with emotional healing, but they are very different in how they work. While they may share some similarities, their methods, goals, and how they engage the brain differ significantly. Understanding these distinctions can help you decide which approach might be right for your journey.   

What Is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR is a structured, evidence-based therapy designed to help individuals process and heal from trauma. It works by using bilateral stimulation, often through guided eye movements, to help the brain reprocess distressing memories. This process reduces the emotional disturbance of these memories, allowing individuals to move forward without being overwhelmed by the past. 

 A key element of EMDR is that it keeps you fully awake and aware during sessions. You remain in control, processing your thoughts and feelings in real time with the guidance of a trained therapist. The goal is to empower your brain to heal itself, tapping into its natural ability to process experiences and find resolution. 

What Is Hypnosis?

Hypnosis, by contrast, involves inducing a trance-like state where a person’s attention is highly focused, and they become more open to suggestion. A therapist or hypnotist guides you into this state, often using relaxation techniques or imagery. While under hypnosis, you are not unconscious, but your mind is more receptive and less critical.   

Hypnosis is often used to address behaviors, habits, or phobias. The therapist may suggest new ways of thinking or feeling about a specific issue, aiming to create a shift in your subconscious. Unlike EMDR, hypnosis doesn’t typically involve revisiting and actively processing traumatic memories in detail. 

How Are EMDR and Hypnosis Similar? 

Both EMDR and hypnosis involve working with the mind in ways that might feel different from traditional talk therapy. They can help access parts of the brain that are harder to reach through conversation alone. Both approaches also require a skilled therapist to guide the process and ensure safety and effectiveness. 

Another similarity is their ability to help people relax and reduce how strongly people feel their emotions. In both methods, the therapist creates a supportive environment where you feel secure enough to explore challenging thoughts or memories. However, these similarities are where the overlap ends. 

Key Differences Between EMDR and Hypnosis

The biggest difference lies in how the two approaches work with your awareness. EMDR therapy keeps you fully conscious and engaged. You actively participate in recalling memories and making connections between past events and current emotions. The bilateral stimulation helps your brain process these memories in a way that feels manageable and empowering. 

Hypnosis, on the other hand, involves a shift in consciousness. In a hypnotic state, your focus narrows, and your critical thinking becomes less active. While this can be helpful for certain issues, it’s not designed for the same kind of deep memory processing as EMDR. 

Another distinction is the goal of each method. EMDR aims to resolve trauma by changing how your brain stores and reacts to distressing memories. Hypnosis is more about influencing behaviors or feelings, often without directly addressing their root causes. 

Why EMDR Isn’t Hypnosis

It’s easy to see why people might confuse EMDR with hypnosis, but they are fundamentally different. EMDR is grounded in extensive research and clinical studies. It is a structured, phased approach with clearly defined steps, including history-taking, preparation, and desensitization. Each phase builds on the last to ensure safety and effectiveness.   

Hypnosis, while also valuable, doesn’t follow a set protocol. Its success often depends on the individual’s suggestibility and the therapist’s skill in creating effective suggestions. Hypnosis can complement other therapies but isn’t typically used as a standalone method for trauma.   

What to Expect in EMDR Therapy

During an EMDR session, your therapist will guide you to focus on a specific memory or thought. At the same time, they’ll use a form of bilateral stimulation, such as moving their hand side to side or tapping rhythmically. This dual focus allows your brain to reprocess the memory without becoming overwhelmed by it. 

 You might experience a range of emotions during EMDR, but your therapist will help you stay grounded. Over time, the memory becomes less distressing, and its grip on your present life loosens. Many people describe feeling lighter and more at peace after EMDR sessions.   

When Hypnosis May Be Helpful

Hypnosis can be a useful tool for addressing specific challenges, such as breaking a smoking habit, reducing anxiety, or managing pain. It’s often used as a complementary technique rather than a primary therapy. If you’re curious about hypnosis, it’s important to find a qualified professional with experience in therapeutic applications.   

However, if you’re dealing with trauma, EMDR is usually the better choice. Its structured approach and focus on reprocessing memories make it uniquely effective for addressing the root causes of distress. 

The Importance of Professional Support

Whether you’re considering EMDR therapy, hypnosis, or another form of therapy in the Cincinnati area, working with an experienced professional is essential. EMDR therapists, just like any other therapist, have a wide range of skill and experience using EMDR and it’s important to make sure the therapist you are working with has the ability to help you. Similarly, hypnosis should only be conducted by a qualified practitioner with experience in therapeutic settings. 

 Seeking professional help can feel daunting, but it’s a powerful step toward healing. A therapist provides the expertise, tools, and support you need to navigate challenges and find relief. You don’t have to go through it alone. 

How to Choose the Right Approach for You

The best therapy is the one that aligns with your needs and goals. If trauma is at the heart of your struggles, EMDR may be the most effective option. Its focus on resolving the emotional impact of past experiences makes it a transformative tool for many.   

If you’re dealing with specific behaviors or habits, hypnosis could be a helpful addition to your treatment plan. It’s not about choosing one method over the other—it’s about finding what works best for your unique situation.   

Healing Through Self-Awareness

Both EMDR and hypnosis offer paths to greater self-awareness and emotional freedom. They invite you to explore your inner world in ways that can lead to profound healing. While they take different approaches, their shared goal is to help you move forward with greater clarity and peace.   

The journey of healing is deeply personal. Whether through EMDR, hypnosis, or another therapy, the key is finding what resonates with you. With the right support, you can face your challenges, heal from the past, and build a future filled with hope. 

Conclusion  

If trauma or emotional struggles are affecting your life, consider exploring EMDR therapy. Its evidence-based approach offers a safe and effective way to process painful memories and reclaim your sense of self. For behavioral challenges, hypnosis might be a useful complement. Whatever path you choose, seeking help is a brave and empowering decision.

While we at Therapy Cincinnati don’t offer hypnosis, we do specialize in EMDR therapy. Our 3 EMDR therapists are expertly trained and continue to stay up to date on the latest research in EMDR. If you are in the Cincinnati area and are looking for expert help, please reach out today for an appointment with one of us.

How to Help Kids Understand and Express Big Emotions

Big emotions can be overwhelming for kids. When they’re angry, sad, or even excited, they often don’t have the words to explain what they’re feeling. This can lead to outbursts, tears, or withdrawal. As a caregiver, it’s both challenging and crucial to help children navigate these moments. Teaching kids how to understand and express their emotions equips them with tools they’ll carry for a lifetime.

Why Big Emotions Feel So Overwhelming

Children experience emotions just as intensely as adults, but their brains aren’t fully developed yet. They rely heavily on the part of the brain that reacts emotionally, the amygdala, while the logical part, the prefrontal cortex, is still growing. This means they often respond with instinct rather than reason.

Imagine carrying a heavy backpack without knowing how to unpack it—that’s what big emotions feel like to a child. They might cry when they’re frustrated, yell when they’re scared, or shut down when they feel helpless. Helping them understand what’s happening inside gives them a sense of control and reassurance.

Start With Emotional Awareness

The first step in helping kids handle big emotions is teaching them to recognize what they’re feeling. Use simple words like "happy," "mad," "scared," or "frustrated" to label emotions. You can even use visual aids, like an emotion chart, to make it easier for younger children to identify their feelings.

When your child is calm, ask open-ended questions about their emotions. For example, “How did it feel in your body when you were upset?” or “What made you feel that way?” This builds emotional awareness and helps them connect feelings to specific experiences. Over time, they’ll start identifying their emotions on their own.

Normalize All Feelings

Let kids know it’s okay to feel any emotion, even the tough ones. Reassure them that anger, sadness, and fear are normal parts of life. When children feel safe to express their emotions without judgment, they’re less likely to suppress or act out.

You can normalize emotions by sharing your own experiences. For instance, say, “I feel frustrated sometimes too, and when I do, I take deep breaths to calm down.” This shows them that emotions aren’t bad—they’re just signals that something needs attention.

Teach Healthy Ways to Express Emotions

Once kids can identify their emotions, they need tools to express them in a healthy way. Encourage them to use words to describe what they’re feeling, like “I’m upset because my toy broke” or “I’m sad because I miss my friend.”

Role-playing is another helpful tool. Pretend to be in a scenario where emotions are high, and practice how to respond. For example, act out what to say when feeling angry or how to ask for a hug when feeling sad. These rehearsals give children a blueprint for handling real-life situations.

Help Them Manage Emotional Overload

Sometimes, emotions feel so big that kids need immediate ways to calm down. Teach them simple techniques like belly breathing, where they take slow, deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth. Counting to ten or squeezing a stress ball can also help.

For younger children, a “calm-down corner” can be a comforting space. Fill it with soft pillows, calming books, or sensory items like fidget toys. This gives them a safe place to retreat and regulate their emotions when things feel too overwhelming.

Encourage Problem-Solving

Big emotions often arise from challenges or unmet needs. Teaching kids how to problem-solve empowers them to address the source of their feelings. Start by validating their emotion—for example, “I can see you’re upset because your friend didn’t share.” Then, guide them through possible solutions.

Ask questions like, “What do you think we can do to make this better?” or “How could we help you feel better next time?” This process builds resilience and shows them they can handle difficult situations.

Model Emotional Regulation

Kids learn a lot by watching the adults around them. If they see you handling your emotions calmly, they’re more likely to do the same. Try to stay composed during stressful moments, and if you make a mistake, own it. Saying, “I lost my temper earlier, and I’m sorry. Next time, I’ll take a deep breath first,” teaches them that nobody’s perfect, and it’s okay to try again.

It’s also helpful to talk openly about your feelings in age-appropriate ways. For instance, “I’m feeling a little nervous about my meeting, so I’m going to do some stretches to relax.” This shows kids how to name and cope with emotions in real-time.

The Role of Empathy

Empathy is a powerful tool in helping kids handle big emotions. When a child feels understood, they’re more likely to open up and trust you. Instead of dismissing their feelings with phrases like, “You’re fine,” try saying, “I can see that you’re really upset right now. That must feel hard.”

Reflecting their emotions back to them helps validate their experience. It also teaches them to be empathetic toward others, which is a skill they’ll use in friendships, school, and beyond.

When Professional Support May Help

Sometimes, big emotions stem from deeper issues that need extra care. If your child struggles with ongoing outbursts, anxiety, or withdrawal, a child therapist can help. These professionals specialize in teaching kids how to process and manage emotions in a safe, supportive environment.

Therapy provides kids with tools tailored to their unique needs, whether it’s learning mindfulness techniques or working through underlying fears. It also gives caregivers strategies to better support their child at home. Seeking help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a proactive step toward emotional well-being for the whole family.

Celebrating Emotional Growth

As kids learn to understand and express their emotions, celebrate their progress. Recognize when they use their words instead of crying or when they take deep breaths to calm down. Positive reinforcement builds their confidence and encourages them to keep practicing these skills.

Over time, you’ll notice a difference. They’ll start handling challenges with more ease, communicating their feelings clearly, and bouncing back from setbacks. These are milestones worth celebrating, both for them and for you.

How We Can Help

Helping kids understand and express big emotions isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most valuable gifts you can give them. By teaching them emotional awareness, healthy expression, and self-regulation, you’re setting them up for a lifetime of resilience and well-being. And when extra support is needed, the local child therapists at Therapy Cincinnati can help your child thrive.

With patience, empathy, and the right tools, your child can learn to navigate their emotions with confidence—and so can you.

What Is Big and Little T Trauma?

Trauma is a word that gets used a lot these days, but it’s not always clear what it means. At its core, trauma is any experience that overwhelms your ability to cope. It leaves a lasting impact on your mind and body, sometimes shaping the way you see the world and respond to it. Trauma can look different for everyone, which is why it’s helpful to think of it in terms of “big T” and “little t” trauma.

Understanding Big T Trauma

Big T trauma refers to significant, life-altering events that feel catastrophic. These experiences often include a serious threat to your safety or the safety of someone you care about. Examples include car accidents, physical or sexual assault, natural disasters, or surviving a war. These events are so overwhelming that they often leave a deep psychological and emotional imprint.

The effects of big T trauma are what people typically associate with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Symptoms might include flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, or emotional numbness. These reactions are your brain’s way of trying to protect you, even if they feel like they’re making life harder.

What Is Little t Trauma?

Little t trauma, on the other hand, involves smaller, less dramatic events that still disrupt your sense of safety or well-being. These might include losing a job, being bullied, a painful breakup, or ongoing criticism from a parent. While these experiences might not seem “big enough” to count as trauma, they can still have a profound effect.

Little t trauma often builds up over time, especially if it happens repeatedly or in combination with other stressors. For example, a single instance of rejection might not feel traumatic, but years of being put down or ignored can erode your self-esteem and make you feel unsafe in relationships. These smaller experiences can be just as significant as big T trauma when it comes to shaping how you feel and function.

Why Do These Distinctions Matter?

Understanding the difference between big T and little t trauma can help you make sense of your experiences. It’s easy to dismiss your struggles if you think, “Well, I haven’t been through anything that bad.” But trauma isn’t a competition. Both big and little t traumas can leave emotional scars that deserve attention and care.

Knowing the type of trauma you’re dealing with can also guide the kind of support you might need. Big T trauma might call for more intensive treatments like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or somatic therapies that work directly with your body’s stress responses. Little t trauma can benefit from talk therapy or expressive therapies that help reframe your thinking and build resilience.

How Trauma Affects the Brain and Body

Trauma, big or small, affects the brain in similar ways. When you experience something overwhelming, your brain’s alarm system goes into overdrive. It floods your body with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to help you survive. But when the danger is gone, the brain doesn’t always know how to switch off that alarm.

This is why trauma can feel like it’s stuck inside you. Certain sounds, smells, or situations might remind your brain of what happened, triggering a response as if the event is happening all over again. Over time, this can affect your mood, your ability to trust others, and even your physical health.

The Cumulative Effect of Little t Trauma

One of the most misunderstood aspects of little t trauma is how it can build up over time. Imagine carrying a small pebble in your pocket. It doesn’t feel heavy at first, but over time, those pebbles add up until they feel like a boulder. Each small event—being ignored, feeling rejected, experiencing subtle discrimination—adds weight to that burden.

This cumulative effect can leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, or even numb without understanding why. Just because little t trauma is subtle doesn’t mean it’s any less real. It’s important to give yourself permission to acknowledge the impact these experiences have had on you.

Healing From Trauma

The good news is that trauma, whether big T or little t, is something you can heal from. Healing doesn’t mean erasing what happened—it means finding ways to move forward without being defined by it. Therapy is one of the most effective ways to do this.

A skilled therapist can help you process your experiences in a safe and supportive environment. For big T trauma, treatments like EMDR, somatic therapy, or IFS/parts work can help rewire your brain’s response to painful memories. For little t trauma, therapy can help you unpack those smaller moments, make connections, and build tools for resilience.

Self-Compassion Is Key

Healing from trauma also involves treating yourself with compassion. Trauma often leaves behind feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame. It’s important to remind yourself that your feelings are valid and that you did the best you could at the time.

Practices like mindfulness, journaling, or connecting with supportive friends can help you rebuild a sense of safety and self-worth. Even small acts of self-care, like taking a walk or setting boundaries, send a powerful message to yourself: "I matter, and I deserve to feel safe."

When to Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, trauma feels too big to handle on your own. If you find yourself feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unable to function the way you want, it’s time to reach out for help. A trauma therapist can provide the guidance and tools you need to navigate your healing journey.

Trauma therapy isn’t about reliving the pain—it’s about finding ways to make sense of it and regain control over your life. Whether you’re dealing with big T or little t trauma, therapy offers a safe space to work through your feelings and build a future that feels more hopeful and secure.

Both big and little t trauma deserve attention and care. No matter what you’ve been through, your feelings are valid, and healing is possible. By seeking support, practicing self-compassion, and taking small steps toward growth, you can reclaim your sense of safety and begin to thrive again. Remember, reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous step toward a healthier, happier you.

How to Handle Anxiety After a Breakup

Breaking up is hard, even if the relationship wasn’t great toward the end. When it’s finally over, that quiet distance can quickly get replaced with loud, anxious thoughts. "What now?" "How will I figure this out?" It can feel scary and overwhelming, especially if your confidence has taken a hit. But here’s the good news: this is also your chance to hit reset, find your strength, and build a life you love—one step at a time.

Let Yourself Feel Without Judgment

First things first: it’s okay to feel anxious. You just went through something big! All those uneasy feelings—fear, worry, maybe even panic—are your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe in a time of change. Instead of fighting it, try to sit with those feelings. Tell yourself, “This is normal. It’s okay to feel this way.” When you give yourself permission to feel, you also start to heal.

Break it Down: Focus on One Thing at a Time

Everything might feel like it’s happening at once, but you don’t have to tackle it all today. Start small. Make a list of what needs your attention—finding a new routine, dealing with shared responsibilities, or just figuring out dinner. Pick one thing to handle at a time. Each little step forward is proof you’re capable, even if it doesn’t feel like it right away.

Reconnect With Yourself

Breakups can leave you feeling like you’ve lost part of who you are. But this is your time to rediscover the real you. Think about what makes you happy—things you’ve loved or hobbies you’ve wanted to try. There are so many things to try in the local Cincinnati area - go for a solo hike, join that pottery class, try indoor golfing, or just dance around your living room to your favorite songs.

Remember: Uncertainty Isn’t the Enemy

It’s totally normal to be scared of the unknown. But guess what? The unknown is also where exciting things happen. Yes, you don’t have all the answers, and that’s okay. Instead of stressing about what might happen, try focusing on what could happen. A fresh start might be exactly what you need to find your own rhythm and create something beautiful.

Find Your People

You don’t have to do this alone. Reach out to friends or family who make you feel safe and seen. Let them know how you’re feeling, even if it’s messy. Sometimes, just hearing someone say, “I get it,” can make all the difference. And if your circle isn’t quite enough, consider joining a support group in the Cincinnati area or seeking out a therapist who can help with relationships. Sharing your story with someone who truly listens is incredibly healing.

Challenge the Negative Voice in Your Head

That little voice in your head might be whispering, “You’re not good enough,” or “You’ll never figure this out.” But guess what? That voice lies. The next time a negative thought pops up, ask yourself, “Is this really true?” Replace it with something kinder, like, “I’m figuring it out, one day at a time,” or “I’ve got this, even if it’s hard.” Being kind to yourself can quiet the anxiety. Having trouble doing this? Sometimes these patterns of thinking have been there for a while, and it’s hard to change this by yourself. Working with a therapist who has experience helping people who struggle with negative thinking can help you begin to break the cycle and replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Find Comfort in Routine

When everything feels shaky, a simple routine can be your best friend. Start small: wake up at the same time each day, plan a short walk, or make a habit of journaling before bed. Routines don’t have to be rigid; they’re just little anchors to help you feel grounded. Bonus points if they include something that sparks joy!

Journal It Out

Journaling is like having a heart-to-heart with yourself. Grab a notebook and write down whatever’s on your mind—no filter needed. Feeling stuck? Try prompts like, “What’s my biggest worry right now?” or “What’s one thing I’m proud of today?” Putting your thoughts on paper helps untangle them and gives you a clearer picture of what you need.

Think About Therapy for Relationships

Sometimes anxiety after a breakup is tangled up with past experiences or deeper patterns. A local Cincinnati therapist who specializes in relationships can help you work through those feelings. They can guide you in unpacking what went wrong, rebuilding your confidence, and preparing for healthier connections in the future. Whether it’s relationship therapy or one-on-one support, reaching out is a powerful step toward growth

Try Mindfulness to Stay in the Now

Anxiety loves dragging you into “what if” territory. Mindfulness helps bring you back to the now. Take a moment to breathe deeply. Feel the air fill your lungs, notice the way your feet touch the ground, or listen to the sounds around you. These little moments remind your brain that right now, in this moment, you’re okay.

Explore Other Ways to Cope

Different things work for different people. Here are a few other tools to try:

• Exercise: Moving your body, even just a short walk, helps release stress and clear your mind.

• Creative Outlets: Art, music, or cooking can be surprisingly therapeutic.

• Books or Podcasts: Stories of others overcoming challenges can inspire and remind you that you’re not alone.

• Meditation Apps: Guided meditations can help you relax and focus when your mind is racing.
  Experiment with what feels good to you. There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to healing.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Sometimes, the biggest win is just getting through the day. Did you make that phone call you were dreading? Cook yourself dinner instead of grabbing takeout? Celebrate it. These little moments of progress remind you that you’re stronger than you think.

Give Yourself Grace

Healing isn’t a straight line. There will be good days and hard days, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself, just like you would with a close friend going through the same thing. Some days, just showing up for yourself is enough.

Conclusion

Breaking up is tough, but it’s also an opportunity to rebuild in ways that feel right for you. Take it one step at a time, and don’t be afraid to reach out—whether to friends, family, or a therapist who can help with relationships. This chapter might feel scary now, but with patience, support, and some self-compassion, you’ll come out on the other side stronger, more confident, and ready to embrace the future.

If you think you could benefit from working with a therapist, the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are ready and available to help. With no waiting lists and therapist who have specialized training, we can help you work through this difficult time period.   

How to Cope with Life Transitions in Your 20’s

Life in your 20s is full of excitement, exploration, and discovery. It’s a time when you’re growing into your own, figuring out what you want, and learning how to navigate an adult world. But alongside these thrilling new experiences come challenges. Leaving the familiarity of school, starting your career, moving to a new place, or even just figuring out who you are can feel overwhelming. Let’s dive in and explore how to handle life transitions, especially when they feel intense.

Embracing the Unknown 

Life transitions often involve stepping into the unknown, and this uncertainty can be intimidating. You might find yourself second-guessing choices or feeling unprepared for what lies ahead. While it’s natural to crave certainty, part of embracing life transitions is learning to accept that not everything will be clear right away. Leaning into the unknown can help you grow stronger and more adaptable. Young adults often find it helpful to work with a therapist during these times, helping you manage the fear and stress that come with change while also teaching you strategies for staying grounded. 

Recognizing and Validating Your Emotions 

It’s common to feel a mix of emotions during life transitions—excitement, worry, hope, and even sadness. Recognizing and validating these emotions is a crucial part of coping. Ignoring your feelings or trying to push them away can actually make them stronger. Instead, allow yourself to feel what comes up and understand that it’s normal to feel this way. Talking to someone, whether a friend or a therapist, can help you process these emotions.

Setting Realistic Goals 

With life transitions often come new responsibilities and decisions. Setting realistic goals can give you direction and help you feel more in control. Whether it’s managing finances, building a career, or finding a place to live, setting small, achievable goals can make big transitions feel more manageable. Break down larger goals into smaller steps, and celebrate each step along the way. This can help reduce the feeling of overwhelm and provide a sense of accomplishment. Therapy for young adults in Cincinnati can also help you set goals that are realistic and meaningful to you, supporting your progress without adding unnecessary pressure.

Cultivating a Support System 

Life transitions are much easier when you have a support system. Friends, family, mentors, or therapists can offer encouragement, listen to your worries, and help you see things from a new perspective. You don’t have to go through everything alone, and leaning on others for support doesn’t make you weak. Surrounding yourself with people who understand you can make a world of difference.  

Practicing Self-Compassion

 During life transitions, it’s easy to become self-critical, especially if things don’t go as planned. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with kindness and understanding, just like you would a friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes or feel lost at times. No one has everything figured out, especially in their 20s. By being gentle with yourself, you create a safe internal space to explore, learn, and grow. Self-compassion also reduces the pressure to be perfect, allowing you to approach life with greater ease and confidence. 

Taking Care of Your Mental and Physical Health 

Life transitions can take a toll on both your mental and physical health. Taking care of your body—through regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep—can have a positive impact on your mood and energy levels. Similarly, setting aside time for relaxation, whether through mindfulness practices, hobbies, or simply spending time in nature, can help you recharge. When your mind and body are cared for, you’re better equipped to handle stress. If maintaining this balance feels challenging, reach out to a therapist who specializes in helping young adults. A therapist can offer personalized strategies for creating routines that support your overall well-being. 

Allowing Yourself to Grow and Change 

Transitions are a natural part of life, and with them often come personal growth and transformation. It’s okay if you change your mind, develop new interests, or outgrow old habits. Embracing these changes can help you feel more connected to your authentic self, even if it means stepping away from past identities or relationships. Growth isn’t always easy, and it can feel uncomfortable at times, but it’s also a sign that you’re moving forward.

Embracing Patience and Flexibility 

During times of transition, it’s essential to practice patience with yourself and the process. You might not see results or reach your goals as quickly as you’d like, and that’s okay. Life doesn’t always follow a straight path, and sometimes, unexpected detours lead to new opportunities. Flexibility allows you to adapt to changing circumstances without losing sight of what’s important. By embracing patience and flexibility, you give yourself the freedom to grow at your own pace.  

Seeking Professional Support When Needed

 Sometimes, life transitions feel too overwhelming to handle on your own. Seeking professional support doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re taking steps to prioritize your well-being. A therapist can help you explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and provide reassurance as you navigate these changes. The therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are local therapists who specialize in working with young adults, and offer a range of services tailored to support you through transitions, helping you build confidence and clarity. Therapy can be an invaluable tool, giving you guidance and support as you embark on this journey of self-discovery.

Finding Meaning in Life’s Transitions 

Transitions often come with a sense of loss or nostalgia for what was, but they also bring new beginnings and opportunities. Reflecting on the meaning and purpose of these changes can help you approach them with a more positive outlook. Ask yourself what you’re learning from these experiences, and consider how they’re shaping you into the person you’re becoming. By finding meaning in transitions, you can transform periods of uncertainty into valuable life lessons. With or without therapy, recognizing the growth and wisdom that come from life’s transitions can bring you peace and confidence as you navigate your 20s.

How to Deal With Stress and Anxiety at Family Holiday Gatherings

The holidays often bring joy, but they can also stir up stress. For many, family gatherings are a double-edged sword—full of love but also layered with tension. Navigating the season doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With a little preparation and a few grounding strategies, you can safeguard your peace while still enjoying meaningful connections. Let’s explore practical ways to approach holiday stress with confidence and calm. 

 Recognize Your Triggers

The first step to managing holiday stress is understanding what unsettles you. Maybe it’s a relative’s intrusive questions or the unspoken pressure to host the “perfect” meal. Triggers can vary widely, but recognizing them gives you the upper hand. When you know what sparks your stress, you can create a plan to manage it. Awareness transforms uncertainty into empowerment.   

Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Boundaries are not walls; they’re bridges to healthier relationships. It’s okay to say no to hosting if it feels like too much. Politely declining to discuss sensitive topics, like your love life or career, is also fair game. Use kind yet firm phrases like, “I’d prefer not to talk about that right now.” Setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable at first, but they’re essential for preserving your mental well-being. 

Prepare for Conversations

Family dynamics can be complex, and conversations often veer into touchy territory. Anticipate these moments by preparing neutral responses in advance. For example, if you expect questions about your personal life, try responses like, “I’m focusing on other things right now, but thanks for asking.” This tactic allows you to deflect without escalating tension. Rehearsing these phrases can make you feel more grounded in the moment.   

Prioritize Self-Care Before and After

Self-care isn’t just for spa days; it’s a survival tool during the holidays. Carve out time for calming activities like journaling, meditating, or taking a brisk walk before the gathering. These rituals help regulate your nervous system and boost your emotional resilience. After the event, allow yourself space to decompress. A quiet evening with a good book or your favorite show can be a soothing way to recharge.   

Enlist Support From Family or Friends

You don’t have to face family gatherings alone. Identify someone in your family who understands your challenges and can offer support. Having an ally can make all the difference when tensions rise. Sometimes, just exchanging a knowing glance with someone who “gets it” can be incredibly reassuring. Don’t hesitate to lean on trusted friends or partners for additional emotional support as well.   

Practice Mindful Communication

It’s easy to get swept up in heated debates or old family dynamics. Mindful communication can help you stay centered. Take a deep breath before responding to frustrating remarks. Speak with intention rather than reacting impulsively. Simple phrases like, “I hear what you’re saying,” can diffuse tension while keeping the conversation respectful. Choosing your words thoughtfully fosters a more harmonious atmosphere. 

Create an Exit Plan

Sometimes, the healthiest choice is to step away. If the gathering becomes too overwhelming, it’s okay to leave. Set a clear timeframe for your visit beforehand, such as “I’ll stay for two hours, then head home.” Having an exit plan gives you permission to prioritize your well-being. If leaving isn’t an option, excuse yourself for a brief walk or spend a few minutes in a quiet space to regroup.   

Shift Your Perspective

Stress often amplifies when we focus on what’s wrong. While it’s important to acknowledge challenges, try to also seek out moments of gratitude. Focus on the cousin who makes you laugh or the warmth of shared traditions. Shifting your perspective doesn’t erase the difficulties, but it helps balance the narrative. Gratitude, even in small doses, can uplift your mood.   

Manage Expectations

The pressure to create a picture-perfect holiday can be overwhelming. But perfection is an illusion. Accept that not everything will go as planned, and that’s okay. Shift your focus from perfection to presence. Meaningful moments often happen in the unscripted, imperfect spaces. Letting go of unrealistic expectations allows you to experience the season more fully. 

Bring a Grounding Item

Having a physical item to ground you can be surprisingly comforting. It might be a small stone, a piece of jewelry, or even a favorite scent in a rollerball. When you feel stress creeping in, holding or using this item can bring you back to the present moment. This simple ritual can act as an anchor in the midst of chaos. 

Set Realistic Goals

It’s easy to overextend yourself during the holidays. Instead of trying to do it all, set realistic goals for what you can handle. This might mean choosing to attend only one gathering instead of several. By being honest about your limits, you conserve energy and reduce unnecessary stress. Remember, it’s better to show up fully present for fewer events than to spread yourself too thin. 

Reflect and Learn for the Future

After the holidays, take time to reflect on what worked and what didn’t. Did certain strategies help you feel calmer? Were there moments you wish you’d handled differently? Use these insights to fine-tune your approach for future gatherings. Growth is a process, and each year brings new opportunities to practice self-compassion and resilience.   

Seek Professional Support if Needed

If holiday stress feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Therapy can provide tools and insights tailored to your unique challenges. Talking with a therapist can also help you unpack deeper family dynamics that may be contributing to your stress. Seeking support isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a step toward greater well-being. ---

Conclusion

The holidays don’t have to be a season of dread. By setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and shifting your perspective, you can transform stress into manageable moments. Remember, your emotional health matters as much as the holiday traditions you cherish. With the right strategies, you can navigate family gatherings with grace and ease, creating space for connection and joy amidst the chaos.

Signs That You Are in a Toxic Relationship

Recognizing that you’re in a toxic relationship can be difficult, especially if you have an anxious attachment style. Often, those with anxious attachment tend to blame themselves for issues in the relationship, rather than recognizing that the relationship itself may be unhealthy. However, understanding the signs of a toxic relationship is the first step toward protecting your emotional well-being. Let’s dive in and explore how you can know if you are in an unhealthy relationship.

Criticism

One of the clearest signs of a toxic relationship is constant criticism. It’s normal for partners to have disagreements or offer constructive feedback, but toxic criticism goes beyond that. If your partner regularly belittles your opinions, appearance, or personality, this is a red flag. Toxic partners often disguise their criticism as "helping" or "teaching," but it leaves you feeling inadequate and unworthy. Over time, this can erode your self-esteem and make you feel like you’re never good enough.

Manipulation

Another hallmark of a toxic relationship is emotional manipulation. This can take many forms, such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing the victim. A manipulative partner might twist your words, deny things they’ve said, or make you feel responsible for their emotions. If you often find yourself doubting your own memory or constantly apologizing, you might be experiencing emotional manipulation. This kind of behavior creates confusion and anxiety, making you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

Lack of Boundaries

Toxic relationships are also characterized by a lack of respect for boundaries. In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel free to express their needs and limits. But in a toxic relationship, your boundaries may be ignored or dismissed. Your partner might invade your privacy, pressure you into doing things you’re uncomfortable with, or become possessive and controlling. When your boundaries are violated, it can leave you feeling powerless and trapped.

Lack of Stability in Your Relationship

Another warning sign is the presence of constant drama. Every relationship has ups and downs, but toxic relationships often feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Your partner may create conflicts out of nowhere, hold grudges, or refuse to resolve issues. This constant turmoil can leave you feeling drained and anxious, as if you’re always waiting for the next argument to happen. The instability in these relationships prevents you from feeling safe and secure.

Jealousy

Jealousy and possessiveness are also common in toxic relationships. While it’s natural to feel a little jealous sometimes, excessive jealousy can be suffocating. A toxic partner may try to control who you spend time with, accuse you of being unfaithful without reason, or monitor your every move. This behavior isn’t a sign of love; it’s a sign of insecurity and control. Over time, it can isolate you from friends and family, leaving you feeling lonely and dependent on your partner.

Lack of Support

In addition to these signs, toxic relationships often involve a lack of support. In a healthy relationship, your partner should be your biggest cheerleader, celebrating your successes and supporting you through challenges. But in a toxic relationship, your partner may undermine your goals, dismiss your achievements, or even sabotage your efforts. If you feel like your partner isn’t rooting for you or is actively holding you back, it’s a sign that the relationship is not healthy.

Emotional and/or Physical Abuse

A toxic relationship may also involve cycles of abuse and reconciliation. Your partner might hurt you emotionally or even physically, only to apologize and promise to change. This cycle of abuse can be incredibly confusing and make it difficult to leave the relationship. You might find yourself hoping that things will get better, but the reality is that without professional help, these patterns are likely to continue.

What to Do

If you recognize these signs in your relationship, it’s important to acknowledge that you deserve better. Toxic relationships can have a profound impact on your mental and emotional health, leading to anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-worth. It’s not uncommon to feel stuck or afraid to leave, especially if your attachment style makes you fear being alone. However, staying in a toxic relationship will only cause more harm in the long run.

Therapy Can Help

Seeking professional support can be a crucial step in breaking free from a toxic relationship. It’s important to find a therapist who has experience and training in helping people with unhealthy relationships, as not all therapists are able to truly help in this area. A local Cincinnati therapist can help you understand the dynamics of your relationship and support you in making healthy decisions. Therapy provides a safe space to explore your feelings, develop coping strategies, and rebuild your self-esteem. It can also be a lifeline if you’re struggling to leave a toxic partner or if you’re unsure about your next steps.

In addition to therapy, it’s important to reach out to trusted friends or family members for support. Talking to someone outside the relationship can provide perspective and help you feel less isolated. Remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. There are people who care about you and want to see you happy and healthy.

Leaving an Unhealthy Relationship

Leaving a toxic relationship can be one of the most challenging things you’ll ever do, but it’s also one of the most empowering. By recognizing the signs of toxicity and taking steps to protect yourself, you’re choosing to prioritize your well-being. It’s okay to seek help and to take the time you need to heal. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel loved, respected, and valued. 

In conclusion, if you find yourself in a relationship marked by constant criticism, emotional manipulation, disrespect for boundaries, or any of the other signs mentioned above, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate your situation. You have the right to a relationship that nurtures your growth and happiness, rather than one that drains you.

The therapists at Therapy Cincinnati specialize in attachment based therapy, and have lots of experience helping people who are in or have been in unhealthy relationships. Don’t hesitate to seek professional support to guide you through this process. Remember, you are worthy of love that lifts you up, not one that tears you down.

Helping Kids Cope with Anxiety

Childhood is often viewed as a carefree time, yet many children experience significant anxiety. It can appear as constant worry, fears about daily events, or trouble in new situations. For parents, watching their child struggle with anxiety is heartbreaking, and it’s common to wonder how best to help. Anxiety in children can stem from a variety of sources, such as school stress, social challenges, or family changes.

Here in Cincinnati, some of the more recent stressors in our area have included the threat of school violence, which have made children feel insecure and fearful. Parents as well are understandably nervous, and children can pick on these worries. As local Cincinnati therapists that specialize in working with children, let’s explore how you can best help your child if they are feeling anxious.  

Understanding Childhood Anxiety 

Children express anxiety in unique ways. Some might become quiet, avoiding situations that make them nervous, while others might show physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches. Understanding the signs of anxiety is essential for recognizing when a child might need additional support. Kids can experience different types of anxiety, such as social anxiety, generalized anxiety, or separation anxiety. Each type has its own triggers and requires a tailored approach. Parents play a vital role in identifying these signs and offering a supportive environment, and in some cases, working with a local child therapist in Cincinnati can provide specific tools and strategies that help children build resilience.

Talking Openly About Anxiety 

Creating an environment where a child feels safe to talk about their worries is key to managing anxiety. Parents can encourage conversations about fears without judgment, giving children a space to share what feels overwhelming. Validating a child’s feelings helps them feel heard, reinforcing that it’s okay to feel anxious sometimes. Even using simple phrases like “It’s normal to feel this way” or “I understand why that’s scary for you” can make a big difference. For parents, it can be empowering to know that even if they don’t have all the answers, opening a dialogue is a powerful first step.

Teaching Relaxation Techniques 

For children experiencing anxiety, learning relaxation techniques can be very helpful. Breathing exercises are simple yet effective ways to calm the mind and body. For instance, the “balloon breathing” technique – where a child imagines inflating a balloon by breathing in deeply and then deflating it slowly – can help reduce stress. Guided imagery, where children visualize a peaceful place like a beach or forest, also helps them to focus on calming thoughts. Introducing these exercises at home gives children valuable tools they can use in anxious moments.  

Building Routine and Structure 

Anxiety can sometimes be eased by providing a predictable daily routine. Children thrive on structure; knowing what to expect each day reduces uncertainty, which can often trigger anxious feelings. Creating routines around school, meals, and bedtime gives kids a sense of security, making life feel more manageable. Simple actions, like preparing for the next day together or using checklists, can help reduce anxiety. While structure won’t eliminate anxiety altogether, it provides a comforting rhythm that kids can rely on. For families seeking more personalized guidance on creating routines, anxiety therapy for children in Cincinnati can help identify specific strategies suited to each child’s needs.

Encouraging Positive Self-Talk 

Many children with anxiety struggle with negative thoughts. They may worry they aren’t “good enough” or fear that something bad will happen. Teaching kids to replace negative thoughts with positive self-talk can empower them to approach situations with confidence. For instance, if a child is worried about an upcoming test, they can learn to tell themselves, “I’ve studied, and I’m ready to do my best.” Parents can model this positive self-talk to their children by sharing their own experiences of overcoming worries.

Practicing Exposure in Small Steps 

One of the most effective ways to help children confront their fears is through gradual exposure. For example, if a child is anxious about speaking in front of a group, they can start with smaller tasks, like reading aloud to family members. Slowly increasing the challenge over time can help them build confidence without feeling overwhelmed. It’s important to go at the child’s pace, celebrating each small success along the way. Exposure therapy techniques are commonly used by anxiety and child therapists, which allows children to face fears in a safe and supportive environment. 

Seeking Professional Support When Needed 

While many strategies can be practiced at home, some children may benefit from professional guidance to manage their anxiety. If anxiety disrupts a child’s daily life – such as affecting their ability to go to school, make friends, or participate in activities – it may be time to consider therapy. Professional therapists can offer techniques tailored to each child’s unique needs, providing a structured space for children to learn coping skills. Working with a child therapist in Cincinnati can be especially beneficial for children and families seeking effective, research-backed methods for addressing anxiety. Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness; rather, it’s a valuable tool that supports children in building emotional resilience.

Supporting Yourself as a Parent 

Helping a child cope with anxiety can be challenging, and it’s essential for parents to care for their own emotional well-being too. Parenting an anxious child requires patience, empathy, and often a fair amount of self-care. Taking breaks, seeking support from other parents, or even talking with a therapist can provide valuable insights and relief. When parents are calm and balanced, they’re better equipped to guide their children through anxious moments. It’s not uncommon for parents to have their own therapist who can help them with parenting skills, and working with a local Cincinnati therapist can also offer support for parents, giving them the tools to help their children more effectively.

Celebrating Progress, Big and Small 

Every step a child takes to overcome their anxiety is an accomplishment worth celebrating. Progress doesn’t have to mean eliminating anxiety completely; it could be as simple as speaking up in class, trying a new activity, or sharing a fear with a friend. Recognizing and celebrating these achievements can boost a child’s confidence, reinforcing that they are strong and capable. By focusing on small victories, parents help children feel proud of their efforts, creating a positive cycle of self-empowerment. Even with the help of therapy for children in Cincinnati, progress may come gradually, but each milestone is a step toward greater emotional health.

Conclusion 

Helping children manage anxiety is a journey that requires patience, empathy, and a variety of coping tools. By fostering open conversations, teaching calming techniques, and offering structure and positive reinforcement, parents can support their children’s emotional well-being. In cases where anxiety feels too overwhelming, seeking professional support through the expert child therapists at Therapy Cincinnati can provide both children and parents with practical, evidence-based methods for managing anxiety. Therapy can be a crucial step in helping children understand and navigate their emotions, setting them up for a healthier and happier future.

4 Ways to Cope with the Sunday Scaries

As the weekend winds down and Monday approaches, many people experience what’s commonly known as the "Sunday Scaries." It’s that creeping sense of dread, unease, or anxiety that settles in when you start thinking about the upcoming week. Whether it's work stress, school pressures, or just the overwhelming feeling of an impending busy week, the Sunday Scaries can leave you feeling exhausted before Monday even begins. Fortunately, there are ways to cope with this anxiety and reclaim your peace. Here are four strategies to help manage the Sunday Scaries and feel more in control.

1. Create a Calming Sunday Night Routine 

One of the best ways to ease Sunday night anxiety is by establishing a soothing routine that helps your body and mind unwind. A lot of the Sunday Scaries come from feeling out of control or unprepared for the week ahead. By creating a calming ritual, you send a signal to your brain that it’s time to relax. This could include taking a warm bath, listening to soft music, or practicing mindfulness exercises. 

Journaling is another powerful tool to help quiet those racing thoughts. Writing down what you're feeling or making a to-do list for the week ahead can help clear your mind. By acknowledging your worries on paper, they may feel less overwhelming. If these strategies don't alleviate your anxiety, it may be a sign that more support is needed. Anxiety therapy in Cincinnati can provide you with the tools to develop long-term coping mechanisms and address the root of your stress. 

2. Plan Ahead to Reduce Overwhelm 

The unknowns of the upcoming week can contribute significantly to the Sunday Scaries. Sometimes, it’s the fear of forgetting something important or not feeling ready for Monday’s demands that fuels your anxiety. One way to counter this is by planning ahead. Set aside some time on Sunday to review your schedule for the week and prioritize tasks. 

Breaking your week into manageable chunks can make the whole thing feel less intimidating. Instead of seeing Monday as a day to dread, think of it as an opportunity to take control of your responsibilities. When you can visualize the week ahead, you reduce that lingering sense of unease. And if the thought of planning your week still stirs up intense anxiety, reaching out for anxiety therapy in Cincinnati might be the next best step. A professional can help you understand why these feelings are arising and provide personalized strategies to help you manage them.

3. Practice Mindfulness to Stay Grounded 

When the Sunday Scaries hit, your mind can easily spiral into anxious thoughts about the future. Practicing mindfulness can bring you back to the present moment and help you stay grounded. Mindfulness is about focusing on the here and now, rather than worrying about what’s to come. A simple mindfulness exercise is to focus on your breath, taking slow, deep breaths while paying attention to how your body feels.

 Even a short mindfulness session can create space between you and your anxiety, helping to calm your nervous system. Engaging in activities that anchor you in the present—like yoga, a nature walk, or even cooking—can also shift your focus away from the stress of the upcoming week.

4. Reframe Your Thinking 

The way you think about Mondays can influence how you feel about Sundays. Often, the Sunday Scaries come from negative thoughts and expectations about the week ahead. Maybe you anticipate a tough meeting or a pile of tasks waiting for you. While these challenges might be real, the way you frame them in your mind can make a big difference in how much anxiety you feel.

Try to challenge your negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of focusing on what could go wrong, think about what you’re looking forward to during the week. Is there a fun lunch planned, or maybe a chance to connect with a coworker or friend? Shifting your mindset won’t erase all your anxiety, but it can help reduce its intensity.

In Conclusion

The Sunday Scaries can be a common experience for many people, especially those balancing busy schedules, work demands, and personal obligations. These feelings are valid, but they don’t have to control your weekend or your week. Creating a calming routine, planning ahead, practicing mindfulness, and reframing your thinking are all practical ways to cope with Sunday anxiety.

When to Seek Out Help From a Therapist

However, if the Sunday Scaries become overwhelming or persistent, or if you are dreading the upcoming week because of bigger sources of stress, seeking professional support from a trained therapist can be an essential next step. Sometimes there are things that we need more help with, and the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati offer a supportive space where you can explore the deeper causes of your anxiety and develop personalized strategies to manage it. Working through and confronting the source of your anxiety can help you feel more empowered and confident.

The bottom line is that you don’t have to face your anxiety alone. Whether through mindfulness, cognitive tools, or professional therapy, there is help available to navigate the Sunday Scaries and regain control of your emotional well-being.

What is Micro Reading, and How is it Connected to Trauma?

Micro reading is a subtle and often unconscious behavior where someone scans the tiny, almost imperceptible cues in another person’s facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language to gauge their emotions or intentions. It’s like reading between the lines, looking for hidden meanings in the smallest gestures or words.

While this heightened sensitivity can sometimes help in understanding others, it can also become overwhelming, especially for individuals who have experienced trauma. For those dealing with past trauma, micro reading can be an automatic response, a way to protect themselves from potential harm or rejection. However, this behavior can ironically lead to increased anxiety, stress, and difficulty trusting others.

How Does Trauma Affect Us?

Trauma can deeply affect the way people perceive and interact with the world. When someone has experienced trauma, particularly emotional, physical, or relational trauma, they may become hyper-vigilant—constantly on alert for danger or negative outcomes. Micro reading often develops as a defense mechanism in these situations. It’s a way for the brain to stay alert, scanning for subtle signs of conflict or danger in an effort to avoid further harm. While this can feel necessary to protect oneself, it also means living in a constant state of high alert, which can be exhausting and damaging over time.

Micro reading is particularly common in people who have grown up in homes where there was often fighting, especially fighting involving adults. For children, fighting is often scary and overwhelming, and children often try to “read” the atmosphere to see if anyone looks like they may be angry or about to be angry.

People who micro read others also tend to have experienced “egg shell walking” while as a child. Both of these are defense mechanisms that people use to reduce the chances of getting hurt by trying to see if there is danger present around us.

How Micro Reading Causes Problems

One of the problems with micro reading is that it can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary stress. When someone is constantly looking for hidden meanings or signals of danger, they often tend to misinterpret harmless interactions. A slight pause in a conversation, a neutral facial expression, or a casual comment can be blown out of proportion, leading to feelings of rejection, fear, or insecurity. This can also cause ruminating thoughts, where someone has racing thoughts and constantly reviews interactions they had with someone else. Over time, this can strain relationships, as the person doing the micro reading may begin to pull away or become defensive, believing they are under attack when they are not. 

Another significant connection between micro reading and trauma is the way it impacts emotional regulation. When a person is hyper-focused on reading others, they often neglect their own emotional needs. They may become so consumed with anticipating the feelings or reactions of others that they lose touch with their own emotions. This can lead to emotional exhaustion, increased anxiety, and difficulty managing stress. It can also lead to a lack of connection with themselves, such as not knowing what they are feeling, or even their favorite color or food. For trauma survivors, learning to shift the focus back to their own feelings and responses, rather than constantly monitoring others, is an important step in healing.

How to Stop Micro Reading

Breaking free from the habit of micro reading can be quite challenging, especially for those who have relied on it for years as a way to feel safe. One of the most effective ways to address this behavior is through therapy from a local, expert therapist who is trained in trauma. If you live in Cincinnati, you could benefit from working with a therapist who can help individuals recognize when they are engaging in micro reading and provide tools for breaking the cycle. One of the most helpful tools in changing this pattern is learning about safety. Many people who have experienced trauma often don’t fully know what safety feels like, and therapy can help people learn to recognize when it is safe and relax.

Therapy Can Help Rebuild Trust

Therapy can also help trauma survivors rebuild trust in their relationships. Many people who engage in micro reading do so because they find it difficult to trust others, especially if they have been hurt or betrayed in the past. In a safe therapeutic environment, individuals can work through their trust issues and learn to develop healthier, more balanced ways of interacting with others. By focusing on their own emotional needs and learning to communicate openly, they can gradually reduce the need to rely on micro reading as a way of navigating relationships.

While any type of therapy is helpful, people with trauma often find that in person therapy is particularly effective in helping them. We at Therapy Cincinnati are proud to offer in person sessions at our office location in Montgomery, right off of I-71 and near Blue Ash.

The Impact of Trauma

It’s important to remember that trauma can have a profound impact on how we view the world and interact with others. Micro reading is just one of the ways that trauma survivors try to protect themselves, but it’s not always helpful in the long run. While it may feel like a necessary survival skill, it can lead to more harm than good, especially when it results in misunderstanding or emotional exhaustion. Healing from trauma involves recognizing these patterns and learning new ways of relating to others that are based on trust and openness rather than fear and hyper-vigilance.

Finding a Local Cincinnati Trauma Therapist

Seeking professional support is a vital part of this healing process, and you should seek out a therapist located in your area. Therapy offers a safe, non-judgmental space to explore the roots of micro reading and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Whether through types of therapy such as EMDR, parts work, attachment-based therapy, or other therapeutic approaches, individuals can learn to let go of the need for constant vigilance and instead focus on building more authentic, trusting relationships. Healing from trauma is a journey, but with the right support, it’s possible to move beyond the patterns that keep you stuck in fear and start living with greater emotional freedom.

Getting The Help That You Deserve 

In conclusion, micro reading is a coping mechanism often tied to trauma, where individuals scan for subtle cues in others to avoid potential harm. While it may feel protective, this behavior can lead to misunderstandings, increased anxiety, and difficulty trusting others. By recognizing this behavior and seeking professional support, trauma survivors can learn to shift their focus back to their own emotional needs and develop healthier, more balanced ways of interacting with the world. Through therapy and mindfulness, individuals can begin the journey toward healing, letting go of fear and finding greater peace in their relationships.

When you are ready to change the way you interact with the world, and are ready to move past trauma you may have been through, the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are available to help. We are local expert therapists, who specialize in helping people recover from trauma, and we are here to help. Please reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call today.

How EMDR Can Help Rebuild Trust

Trust is fragile. For many, especially those who have been hurt or betrayed, trusting others again can feel impossible. Whether from personal relationships, family dynamics, or past trauma, the pain of broken trust can linger for years. This deep sense of hurt makes it hard to connect with others, leaving one feeling isolated and fearful. But there is hope. EMDR therapy in Cincinnati offers a unique path toward healing and rebuilding trust.

Understanding How Trauma Impacts Trust 

When someone experiences trauma, especially relational trauma, it can drastically impact how they view the world and the people around them. Suddenly, the idea of relying on others feels dangerous. Even when someone genuinely wants to rebuild trust, their brain might send signals to protect themselves. These defense mechanisms can create emotional barriers, preventing the deep connections many people long for. EMDR therapy, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is an innovative approach that helps people break through these barriers, helping them restore their faith in relationships. 

Trauma isn't just an event that happens; it's a lasting emotional scar. For someone struggling to trust again, this scar may flare up in everyday situations, causing feelings of anxiety, anger, or withdrawal. EMDR therapy done by local Cincinnati expert EMDR therapists gently helps the brain process these painful memories, allowing individuals to release the weight of the past and embrace healthier relationships. 

How EMDR Therapy in Cincinnati Works to Rebuild Trust 

EMDR therapy is unlike traditional talk therapy. It focuses on the mind’s natural healing process. In a safe, supportive setting, EMDR therapists guide clients through specific eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation. This process is designed to unlock the mind’s ability to reprocess traumatic memories. What once felt overwhelming becomes more manageable, and over time, the emotional charge tied to certain memories fades. 

This gradual healing can open the door to trusting others again. EMDR therapy in Cincinnati helps women not only understand the trauma but also work through the deep-rooted feelings associated with it. Trust isn't something you can force. It’s something that requires safety, vulnerability, and time. EMDR therapy gives clients the tools to rebuild trust in others by first fostering trust within themselves.

Recognizing the Need for Professional Support

If you're reading this and find that trust is something you struggle with, know that you’re not alone. Healing takes time, but you don’t have to navigate it by yourself. Professional support is often a critical piece in moving forward. Working with a therapist trained in EMDR therapy in Cincinnati allows you to address your trauma in a structured, compassionate environment. Sometimes, taking the first step to seek therapy feels intimidating, but it's also a sign of strength.  

Reaching out for help doesn’t mean you're weak; it means you're ready to prioritize your well-being. A trained EMDR therapist can provide clarity and guidance while helping you reconnect with parts of yourself that you might have lost due to trauma. Through this process, you can begin to rebuild trust in yourself, which is an essential part of learning to trust others again. 

The Benefits of EMDR Therapy in Healing Relationships 

Betrayal trauma occurs when someone you deeply trust, such as a partner, family member, or close friend, betrays that trust in a profound way. This kind of trauma leaves deep emotional wounds because the person who was supposed to provide safety and security has caused harm instead. Betrayal trauma can lead to feelings of shock, anger, and confusion, making it difficult to trust others again.

For women, especially, this type of trauma can affect both their personal relationships and their overall sense of self-worth. EMDR therapists know how to use EMDR to help address betrayal trauma. It helps individuals process these painful memories, reframe their experiences, and begin to heal the wounds of broken trust. Through EMDR, the emotional charge linked to the betrayal can be diminished, helping you feel more in control of your emotions and more open to trusting again when you’re ready.

How EMDR Helps People Heal

Rebuilding trust isn't just about feeling safe with others. It’s about feeling safe within yourself. Often, trauma can leave individuals questioning their worth, doubting their decisions, and feeling unworthy of love or respect. This internal conflict makes it even harder to open up to others. EMDR therapy addresses these deep emotional wounds by allowing individuals to process their trauma in a way that strengthens their inner sense of safety and self-worth. 

As individuals progress through EMDR therapy, they often notice a shift in how they view themselves and their relationships. That tight grip of fear starts to loosen, replaced by a growing sense of confidence and hope. Women who go through EMDR therapy often find that they can communicate more openly, set healthier boundaries, and form stronger connections with others. Trusting others becomes possible again because they begin to trust themselves.

The Path to Rebuilding Trust Starts with You

 Trust is complex, especially when it has been broken. Rebuilding it requires courage, patience, and the right support system. The EMDR therapists at Therapy Cincinnati have extensive training in EMDR and can be a pivotal part of that journey. By working through the painful memories and emotional scars left by trauma, you can begin to approach relationships with a renewed sense of hope. Healing is possible, and trust can be restored. 

If you find that trusting others has become a struggle, consider taking that first step towards healing by exploring EMDR therapy. The right therapist can guide you on a path to reclaiming your sense of trust, not only in others but in yourself. You deserve to feel safe, supported, and connected, and EMDR therapy might just be the key to unlocking that possibility.

What is Defensive Detachment, and How Do I Overcome It?

As local Cincinnati therapists who focus on working with attachment styles, we like to share helpful information with people who live in and around the Queen City. Defensive detachment is a coping mechanism people use to protect themselves from emotional pain caused by other people. If you feel that someone is going to hurt you, whether by rejecting you or pulling away from you, you may choose to avoid the pain that comes with this by pulling away first. This ensures that the other person can’t hurt you, since you’ve already pulled away.

Defensive detachment often develops when trust has been broken, or someone feels deeply hurt, so they distance themselves to avoid further suffering. While this might offer temporary relief, it can become a barrier to forming healthy, close relationships. This emotional distance, though self-protective, often leaves people feeling isolated or misunderstood. Understanding how defensive detachment works and finding ways to overcome it can help rebuild trust and connections.

Why Do People Defensively Detach?

Defensive detachment frequently stems from past emotional wounds. These experiences may come from childhood, where a person might have learned that being vulnerable led to hurt or disappointment. This could have been caused by a caregiver being inconsistent, unavailable, or even rejecting when emotional support was needed. As adults, individuals with defensive detachment may keep others at a distance to prevent history from repeating itself. Unfortunately, this protective behavior often creates a self-fulfilling cycle, reinforcing feelings of loneliness and distrust.

Ironically, people with defensive detachment tend to micro read people and situations, which usually causes them to overreact. This causes them to misread people and think they are going to reject them, causing them to quickly pull away when in fact the other person is not going to reject them.  

Signs of Defensive Detachment

One key sign of defensive detachment is an inability to open up emotionally, even when someone genuinely wants to connect. You may find yourself pulling away when relationships start to deepen or avoiding vulnerable conversations altogether. This can lead to feelings of frustration in both you and those close to you. While keeping people at a distance may feel safer in the moment, over time, it can deprive you of the intimacy and emotional connection you truly crave. Awareness is the first step toward breaking this pattern.

The Link Between an Avoidant Attachment Style and Defensive Detachment

Defensive detachment is one of the methods that people with an avoidant attachment style use to avoid getting hurt. While someone can use defensive detachment without having an avoidant attachment style, there is usually some overlap between the two.

Avoidant attachment typically develops when you learned, as a child, that relying on others wasn’t always safe or consistent. As a result, you might have grown up feeling like you can only depend on yourself. Now, as an adult, you may have a hard time letting people get too close because you fear being hurt or rejected.

 While this attachment style can protect you from potential pain, it can also make it difficult to form strong, meaningful relationships. You might avoid serious commitments, shut down emotionally, or distance yourself from loved ones. But deep down, you probably crave connection. Learning to change these patterns starts with understanding why you push people away and finding ways to let others in.

How to Resist Pushing People Away 

The good news is that you don’t have to stay stuck in these patterns. Overcoming defensive detachment begins with recognizing that the walls you’ve built are not serving you anymore. You may have developed these barriers to protect yourself, but they now stand in the way of meaningful relationships. It’s crucial to acknowledge this behavior without judging yourself harshly. Growth happens when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, and this can be a gradual process. You don’t have to take down your emotional walls all at once; instead, start by making small, manageable steps toward openness.

With patience and practice, you can learn to resist pushing people away and allow deeper connections into your life. Here are some strategies to help you get started:

Checking In With Yourself

One effective strategy for managing defensive detachment is practicing emotional awareness. This means becoming more in tune with your feelings instead of automatically shutting them down. When you feel the urge to detach, pause and ask yourself what you’re really feeling. Are you scared of being hurt? Do you fear rejection? By identifying the emotion behind the urge to pull away, you can begin to challenge the instinct to protect yourself through detachment.

 It’s important to note that defensive detachment can often be linked to fear—fear of abandonment, rejection, or vulnerability. If these fears are left unchecked, they can control your behavior without you even realizing it. Recognizing this fear is essential in overcoming detachment. Once you identify what you're afraid of, you can work on changing how you respond to it. Instead of shutting down emotionally, try to lean into the discomfort, even if it’s just a little bit at first.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is another vital aspect of healing from defensive detachment. Healthy boundaries allow you to protect yourself without completely shutting others out. This can look like communicating your needs in relationships or taking time for self-care when you feel overwhelmed. Boundaries are not about keeping people away but about creating a space where you can feel safe while still allowing emotional intimacy. Over time, practicing boundaries can help reduce the need for detachment. 

Therapy to Help with Your Attachment Style

Therapy can be an invaluable resource when dealing with defensive detachment. Working with a local Cincinnati mental health professional allows you to explore the roots of why you detach from others while in a safe, nonjudgmental space. A therapist can help you identify patterns in your relationships and give you the tools to address your fears of vulnerability. In particular, attachment-based therapy can be particularly helpful in understanding and changing detachment behaviors. With the support of a therapist, you can build trust and learn healthier ways of relating to others.

Therapy also provides an opportunity to practice emotional expression in a supportive environment. You may find that sharing your thoughts and feelings with a therapist helps you feel more comfortable doing so in your personal relationships. A therapist can help you navigate the discomfort that often comes with emotional openness by helping you experiment with what you feel when you are open with another person. Over time, this can lead to deeper and more fulfilling connections in your life.

Gaining Trust in Others

Rebuilding trust is often an essential part of overcoming defensive detachment. Trust might have been broken in your past, leading you to believe that emotional closeness will always result in pain. However, trust can be rebuilt through small, consistent actions. It’s about learning to rely on others and letting others rely on you in return. Start by taking baby steps toward trusting others, even if it feels risky at first. Over time, these small steps can lead to more significant changes in how you relate to others.

Lastly, it’s essential to be patient with yourself throughout this process. Overcoming defensive detachment is not something that happens overnight. It’s a gradual journey of unlearning old patterns and building new ones. Give yourself grace as you navigate these changes. Every small step you take toward emotional openness is progress, and it’s important to celebrate those wins. Over time, with effort and patience, you can move beyond detachment and toward deeper, more meaningful connections with others.

In conclusion, defensive detachment is a protective mechanism that can hinder emotional closeness and meaningful relationships. While it may feel like a safe option, it ultimately leads to isolation and unfulfilled emotional needs. Overcoming this detachment requires self-awareness, emotional vulnerability, healthy boundaries, and the support of a therapist. By recognizing and challenging these patterns, you can start to build more fulfilling, trusting relationships.

How We Can Help

If you are in the Cincinnati area and want to better understand your patterns in relationships, or if you want to work on your attachment style, our therapists specialize in attachment and relationship issues and can help you. When working with attachment styles, people often find it helpful to see a therapist in person as opposed to a video session. This recreates the human-to-human experience that many people struggle with when talking to others in the moment. We at Therapy Cincinnati offer most of our sessions

How Social Competition Affects Teens

Adolescence is a time of profound change, and social competition can significantly influence a teen's development. During this period, teens are figuring out who they are, often comparing themselves to others around them. Whether it’s about grades, appearance, or social media popularity, competition becomes a part of their daily lives.

Even though we in Cincinnati don’t have the same pressures teens in bigger cities may experience there is still plenty of competition amongst teens. While some competition can motivate growth, too much of it can lead to anxiety, self-esteem issues, and feelings of inadequacy. Understanding how social competition affects adolescents can help parents guide their teens toward healthier self-perception.

 Where Do Teens Face Competition?

One major impact of social competition on adolescents is the pressure to fit in. Teenagers are highly sensitive to the opinions of their peers, often fearing rejection or social exclusion. They may go to great lengths to be accepted, whether it’s by wearing the latest fashion trends or participating in popular activities. This can create stress as they try to meet the unspoken rules of their social circles. When they feel like they don’t measure up, it can lead to feelings of isolation or self-doubt.

 Social media has amplified competition for adolescents. Platforms like Instagram and TikTok allow teens to showcase their lives, but they also create a constant comparison game. Seeing carefully curated images of friends or influencers can make teens feel like their own lives are lacking. They might worry about not having enough followers, not looking a certain way, or not doing exciting things. This pressure to present a perfect image can negatively affect mental health, leading to anxiety, depression, and body image issues. 

In school, academic competition is another common struggle for adolescents. As teens prepare for their future, they may feel intense pressure to excel academically. They compare their test scores, class ranks, and college acceptances with their peers. This competition can be motivating for some, but for others, it creates overwhelming stress. When a teen feels like they are constantly falling short, it can harm their self-esteem and lead to feelings of hopelessness. 

Athletic competition also plays a significant role in the lives of many adolescents. For teens involved in sports, the pressure to perform can be intense. They may compare their abilities to those of their teammates or competitors, feeling like they must constantly prove themselves. Injuries, burnout, or a lack of recognition can lead to frustration and disappointment. It’s important for teens to learn that their worth isn’t tied to their athletic performance, but this lesson can be hard to internalize in a competitive environment.  

Friendship dynamics can also become competitive during adolescence. Teenagers may compete for popularity or attention within their friend groups. Jealousy can arise when one friend seems to have more social success, leading to tension and conflicts. In some cases, this competition can result in toxic friendships where teens feel pressured to keep up with one another in harmful ways. This can make it difficult for adolescents to form authentic, supportive relationships.

 How Competition Can Hurt Teens

One of the most harmful effects of social competition is the internalization of negative self-talk. Adolescents may start to believe that they are only valuable if they meet certain standards, whether it’s being the smartest, the most attractive, or the most popular. This mindset can lead to chronic feelings of inadequacy and a constant need for validation from others. Over time, these beliefs can erode a teen's self-worth, making it difficult for them to feel confident in who they are.

How Can Parents Help Their Teen?

As a parent, it’s important to recognize the impact of social competition on your teen's mental health. Encourage open conversations where they can share their feelings without fear of judgment. Help them understand that everyone has their own strengths and that comparing themselves to others is not a true measure of their worth. Teach them to celebrate their own achievements, no matter how small, and remind them that they don’t have to be the best at everything to be valued.

Parents can also help by setting limits on social media usage. Encourage your teen to take breaks from social media and engage in offline activities that promote genuine connection and self-expression. Help them understand that what they see on social media isn’t always a true reflection of reality. By teaching them to critically evaluate the content they consume, you can reduce the pressure they feel to live up to unrealistic standards. 

Promoting a balanced perspective on competition is also crucial. Encourage your teen to see competition as a way to challenge themselves rather than as a measure of their self-worth, and that they are not what they accomplish. Teach them that it’s okay to fail and that setbacks are part of growth. Remind them that success is not only about winning but also about learning and improving. This mindset can help reduce the stress and anxiety that often accompany social competition.

How Teen Therapy in Cincinnati Can Help

If you notice that your teen is struggling with the effects of social competition, it may be time to seek professional support by finding a local Cincinnati therapist who works with adolescents. Therapy can provide a safe space for your teen to explore their feelings and develop healthier ways of coping with pressure. A therapist can help them build self-esteem, manage anxiety, and learn strategies to navigate competitive social environments. Sometimes, the objective perspective of a professional can make all the difference in helping your teen feel understood and supported. 

It’s also important for parents to practice empathy and patience during this time. Adolescents are navigating a world that’s constantly evaluating them, and it can feel overwhelming. Validate their feelings and let them know that it’s normal to feel pressure but that they don’t have to face it alone. By providing a stable support system at home, you can help your teen build resilience in the face of social competition.

In conclusion, social competition can have a significant impact on adolescents, affecting their mental health, self-esteem, and relationships. While competition can drive growth, too much of it can lead to stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. As a parent, being aware of these pressures and providing support is key to helping your teen navigate this challenging time. Encouraging open communication, promoting balance, and seeking professional help when needed can make a huge difference in helping your teen thrive despite the pressures of social competition.