Complex PTSD and Attachment

Everyone has an Attachment Style. People with a Secure Attachment Style generally find security and fulfillment in their relationships. Someone with an Insecure Attachment Style may experience tremendous anxiety in their relationships, or they might even avoid relationships all together.  

Your Attachment Style is most often formed from your first human bond. Those who had a positive connection with their primary care giver as an infant typically will develop a Secure Attachment Style, but if your first human connection involved abandonment, fear, trauma, abuse, or severe neglect, an Insecure Attachment Style likely developed. The quality of the first attachment you ever experienced is often what lays the foundation for all your future attachments.  

Complex PTSD Attachment Style

Because an Insecure Attachment Style can be the result of a traumatic relationship, it is possible for someone with an Insecure Attachment Style to also have Complex PTSD. Complex PTSD is trauma from something that repeatedly occurred or else happened over a long period of time. If you at any point in your life were in an unhealthy relationship where continuous trauma was experienced, you may have Complex PTSD Attachment Style. 

If you find yourself avoiding commitment, intimacy, or deep connections, or else if your relationships cause you intense anxiety and distress, you may have Complex PTSD Attachment Style.  

Recovery from Complex PTSD Attachment Style is Possible 

Coping with Complex PTSD Attachment Style can feel overwhelming and isolating, but the good news is that you can heal from Complex PTSD and develop a Secure Attachment Style. Supportive and loving connections with others can be very therapeutic. Engaging in healthy relationships with people who have a Secure Attachment Style can help you overcome the pain and damage caused from past traumatic relationships. Fortunately, secure relationships come in many forms such as with friends, family, romantic connections, and therapists. By finding healthy ways to have meaningful interactions with trustworthy and secure people, you can your broken bond and feel whole and secure again.  

Reflect – Making Sense of the Past will Inspire a Better Future

 The first step to recovery involves deep reflection of your past. Processing through the root cause of your Complex PTSD and identifying the “why” behind your Attachment Style can be upsetting at first, but with the support and guidance of a compassionate therapist you can obtain the clarity you need in a safe place. By facing the impact of your past relationship trauma and understanding how it influenced you, you can break free from unhealthy, Complex PTSD-influenced habit patterns.  

You can break free from the cycle of trauma to ensure that what happened to you does not ever happen to you again. As you reconcile with your past, you will gain valuable self-awareness which will impact your future relationships in a positive way. For those who have struggled to find peace and security in their relationships, recovering from Complex PTSD Attachment Style is life changing and empowering. 

Incorporate – Rewiring and Healing Your Mind
When we are traumatized, our brains react with a fight or flight response to adapt to the situation. In the moment of trauma, this adaptation likely saved your life. However, people who have Complex PTSD may end up becoming stuck in fight or flight mode. Navigating life and relationships through a traumatized mindset is exhausting and painful and will not help you build the secure attachments you crave.

 There is hope. What happened to you was not your fault, and you deserve to heal. With support, it is possible to create new neural pathways so that your nervous system can process triggering moments without causing you unnecessary panic or anxiety. By reprogramming your nervous system and adopting new thought patterns, you can make the shift from Complex PTSD Attachment style to Secure Attachment style.  

Connect – Recover Through Secure Connection
Our ability to form healthy bonds and Secure Attachments can be both disrupted and repaired by relationships. In other words, relationships can be both the cause and the answer. Unhealthy relationships can leave you traumatized, but through healthy relationships you can experience healing and develop a Secure Attachment Style. To build healthy and secure attachments, you must first cultivate an emotional resilience in an environment where you feel safe.   

By experiencing healthy interactions in safe environments with reliable people, you will develop the capacity to express yourself authentically with others in your life. Through the supportive bonds of healthy friendships, romantic relationships, and/or therapeutic interactions you can achieve secure and healing connections. Overcoming Complex PTSD Attachment Style is a process that requires patience and committing to therapy is a great place to start. Therapeutic connections can help you develop past the narrative that caused your Complex PTSD and put you on the path of recovery. 

Healing and Recovery from Complex PTSD Attachment Style is Possible and Worth the Effort.

 Recovery requires time, space, and compassion. Our highly trained and certified trauma experts are ready to work with you. Through supportive, healing, and appropriate interactions, we will help you identify the triggers and perspectives that influence your reactions and teach you grounding techniques to help you develop security in your relationships with others.

 If you are someone with Complex PTSD who struggles with an Insecure Attachment, know that there is hope. You are not your complex PTSD or your attachment style. What happened to you compromised the way you form attachments, and this was not your fault at all. You are not what happened to you, and finding security in meaningful and safe relationships where your needs are valued and cared for is possible.  

We hope that you decide to move forward and find peace. At Therapy Cincinnati we believe you deserve to feel safe, worthy, and supported in your relationships. If you would like the support of qualified, compassionate, and trauma-informed licensed therapist on your journey towards healing, please contact us for a free 15-minute consultation.

5 Ways to Cope with PTSD By Yourself

Those who are struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) know how intrusive and powerful a trigger can be. One moment everything is fine, and then a situation, sound, or smell can be the catalyst that initiates a terrifying episodic reaction. These flashbacks can feel paralyzing. Fortunately, in this struggle between the past and present there is hope. Therapy Cincinnati considers a self-regulating strategy to be an essential part of a successful PTSD treatment plan. With the appropriate support, those coping with PTSD can overcome the traumatic experiences of their past and ultimately find healing and peace.

Managing Trauma – 5 Ways to Stay Grounded

“Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.” – Peter A. Levine

1.      Activate your present senses.
PTSD is a reliving or re-experiencing of the emotions felt during a past traumatic experience. When your PTSD is triggered, ground yourself in the present reality by tapping into all five of your senses. For example, if you are in public and you feel a panic attack starting, think 5-4-3-2-1 and observe your surroundings. Can you identify five things you see? Perhaps a puddle, tree, store window, traffic light, or park bench? Listen. Do you hear wind, people talking, your own breathing, or your heartbeat? Become aware of what you might be holding. What different textures can you feel? Your hair, your jean pockets, or a cool breeze? Can you smell the nearby restaurant or freshly cut grass? Can you taste anything? Perhaps a mint or a drink? Triggers are usually the result of only one or two senses being activated in a reminiscent way that incites fear. By focusing on the 5-4-3-2-1 method your mind will reconcile the past with the new current information to keep you grounded in the present reality.

“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost

2.      Practice a specific anxiety-inspired breathing technique.
Breathing is essential for regulating fear, but anxiety can cause lungs to tighten and restrict your ability to take a proper deep breath. This is why telling someone to breath when they are stressed is very rarely effective. When attempting to counteract a panic attack, breathing can feel physically impossible. One of our favorite breathing techniques for anxiety that we teach at Therapy Cincinnati includes three back-to-back very quick, short, and shallow inhalations followed by one single long exhale. Try it: quick tiny breath in, two, three… and exhale. Those struggling with PTSD and anxiety may not be able to breath normally, so relying on this breathing technique of three short inhales followed by one long exhale can help maintain oxygen flow in a regulating and supportive way.

“Rhythm is regulating.” ― Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.

3.      Move.

There is a reason why people pace when they are nervous. Finding a rhythmic way to move can release trauma. Movement therapy has proven to be very effective with counteracting the negative effects of PTSD. For example, many who cope with PTSD-inspired nightmares report experiencing more restful nights of sleep after spending an evening dancing, running, or working out. Finding your rhythm by walking, tapping your foot, or rocking back and forth can help you keep control over your body’s physical reaction to the traumatic trigger.

“Even the smallest steps move you forward.” – Oprah Winfrey

4.      Self-sooth with muscle relaxation exercises.

Muscle memory is real. When triggered, muscles can immediately tense as the body’s fight or flight response is activated. While this survival instinct may have served you in the past, you can ground yourself by relaxing your muscles through a sequence of muscle relaxation exercises. To do this, carefully tighten and raise your shoulders up to your ears. Hold for three seconds and then release and relax. Next, make a strong fist and tense your arm muscles. Hold for three seconds and then release and relax. You can practice this on any part of your body such as scrunching up your face, curling your toes, or clenching your leg muscles, and then releasing and relaxing. Repeat this tense-release muscle therapy exercise until you feel that you have gained control over your muscle’s reaction. When finished, gently massage your hands to continue grounding yourself in the present reality.

“I’m still coping with my trauma but coping by trying to find different ways to heal it rather than hide it.” – Clemantine Wamariya

5.      Listen to music.

Music therapy is profound in its ability to help us cope with pain. At Therapy Cincinnati, we have some patients who intentionally and proactively find ways to incorporate soothing music in every aspect of their life. If you are sensing rising panic turn on some calming music and sing along. If you do not have immediate access to music you can always whistle, hum, or sing to yourself. 

Making recovery your reality.

For those who struggle to stay grounded, know that you are not alone. It is estimated that nearly 10% of the world’s population will experience a trauma resulting in PTSD. The good news is that there is so much hope. PTSD has been extensively studied and researched by trauma therapists, and many experience recovery by finding healthy ways to leave the past in the past. If you are ready to take the next step towards developing a trauma therapy plan uniquely customized to your specific needs our trauma aware PTSD specialized therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are ready to partner with you on your journey to finding comfort and healing. Please contact us today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.

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