Trauma vs. Truth – Myths About Trauma
Trauma is experienced when our ability to protect ourselves is overpowered in a shocking, frightening, overwhelming, and abusive way. When someone experiences trauma in a place they had thought they were safe or through the actions of someone they thought they were safe with, the long-term side effects of trauma can feel completely confusing and debilitating. While some people are able to find healing over time and re-establish a sense of security, the impact of trauma often results in long-term conditions such as PTSD, Complex PTSD, and anxiety.
While the world is increasingly becoming more trauma-aware, the unfortunate reality is that traumatized people often struggle to find healing because of the myths and feelings that surround trauma. Let’s discuss a few of the more common myths that someone who has experienced trauma might think, feel, or believe.
4 Myths about trauma and why they are completely false.
1. Myth: It was my fault.
Fact: It was not your fault.
Shame is one of the most damaging trauma side effects, and that shame belongs to the perpetrator. Not you. Your mind is programed to identify and neutralize threats through the predominant survival modes of fighting or fleeing. But because a traumatic experience is by nature usually very shocking, a third survival mode may become activated: freezing. Because the survival mode of freezing is not often talked about or collectively understood, many people struggle to process WHY they froze, and this can lead to intense feelings of shame. Freezing is a legitimate, brain-triggered survival mode, and it is not a reflection of some form of deficiency, moral or otherwise.
2. Myth: I must have done something to deserve this.
Fact: There is absolutely nothing you could possibly have done that would warrant or justify what happened. No one ever deserves to be traumatized, over-powered, or have their no or resistance not respected entirely.
Unfortunately, because some traumatic experiences can involve someone you know, it can be difficult to assign fault to someone you used to care about or trust. As a result, it is common for a victim of trauma to distort the image they have of themselves in order to make sense of why something happened, but this is not an appropriate or accurate judgement. The fault is the perpetrators. Not yours. You did not deserve the pain, betrayal, or loss of control that you experienced.
3. Myth: I am dirty.
Fact: You are not dirty. You are wholesome.
Trauma is repulsive in many ways, in particular because it is so overwhelmingly overpowering. The hormones that “fear” produces can have similar side effects as other hormones, but rest assured: you are not dirty. You were afraid, confused, and overpowered, and this was not your fault. One of the saddest side effects of trauma is that people who experience trauma (especially if they were children when the trauma happened) might feel completely baffled. As they struggle to problem solve and make sense of what happened, they might wonder if they wanted what happened.
Take comfort in the truth that no one ever wants to have their control taken from them; that is not a desire the human mind could want. Rather our brains are programed to want control, authority, and protection over itself. When someone’s natural ability to keep themselves safe is challenged or overpowered, the individual’s perception of their own identity and self-worth often becomes compromised. The truth that is you are still you, and you are worthy of safety and protection.
4. Myth: I will feel damaged/traumatized forever.
Fact: Trauma is NOT a life-sentence.
Trauma can feel all-consuming, and it is completely normal for you to feel emotionally “stuck” after experiencing trauma. Trauma exploits vulnerability, and the amount of confusion and fear that is associated with surviving trauma can prevent survivors from experiencing healing and recovery. The truth is that Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) is possible. Even if you don’t remember what happened, your can still experience joy, a renewed sense of personal strength and security, and deep internal healing.
You are worthy of healing.
Traumatic experiences transcend your body and mind’s natural ability to cope with confusion and pain. It is for this reason that many survivors struggle to integrate, rationalize, and process the emotions involved with a traumatic experience – which is completely understandable and normal. There are many false narratives surrounding trauma that are perpetuated by myths. Whether your trauma happened to you recently or many years ago, it can take time to personally and internally abolish the myths associated with trauma. The first step to deconstructing the myths that surround trauma is to be open and curious to the truth about trauma.
The truth about trauma.
It was not your fault. There was nothing you did to deserve what happened. You are not dirty. You are wholesome and worthy. What happened to you is not a life-sentence. You are not permanently damaged. Your sense of safety and wellbeing has been hurt, but the good news is that reconciliation with your internal sense of self-worth and self-security is more than possible – it is achievable. If you would like the support of a highly trained, experienced, and empathetic therapist, please contact our office today.
This article is part of a three-part series about trauma.