Trauma can affect people in many different ways, and one of the most common is something called dissociation. Dissociation happens when a person feels disconnected from themselves or their surroundings, almost like they are daydreaming or zoning out. Trauma and dissociation have a strong link to each other, as we’ll explain.
As we’ll discuss, it’s normal to dissociate, and all of us do it at least some of the time. For example, you might get lost in your thoughts and not notice what’s happening around you for a few minutes. You may be reading a really good book, and you get so absorbed in it that you might not hear someone calling your name right away. Or, you’re driving home and your mind is busy thinking about your day. When you get home, you realize you don’t remember much of your drive.
Many people don’t know about dissociation, and how what they may be experiencing could be unhealthy levels of dissociation. In fact, people with more significant dissociation are often surprised to learn that there’s a name for something they frequently experience. Let’s start by exploring different levels of dissociation, and then we’ll talk about where trauma comes into the picture with this.
Mild Dissociation: Short Times of Zoning Out
As we mentioned earlier, mild dissociation is something that most people experience regularly. This type of dissociation includes things like daydreaming or “zoning out.” For example, you might be in class or a meeting and suddenly realize you haven’t been paying attention for the last few minutes because your mind wandered. Another example is when athletes or performers get “in the zone,” focusing so intensely on their activity that they lose awareness of everything else around them. You may find that time might seem to speed up or slow down, like when you’re waiting for something and it feels like forever, or when you’re having fun and time flies by really fast. These moments of dissociation can help us cope with boredom or focus deeply on a task, and are not a cause for concern.
Moderate Dissociation: Detachment and Memory Lapses
Moderate dissociation can be more noticeable and disruptive. This level can include feeling detached from your surroundings or having brief memory lapses. For instance, you might find yourself in a conversation but feel like you’re not really there, almost as if you’re watching yourself from the outside. Or you might do something routine, like putting your keys in the fridge instead of on the counter, and have no memory of doing it. These experiences can be unsettling but are often short-lived.
More Significant Dissociation: Depersonalization and Amnesia
Stronger forms of dissociation are more intense and can significantly impact daily life. It includes experiences like depersonalization, where you feel disconnected from your own body or thoughts, and derealization, where the world around you seems unreal. People with severe dissociation might also experience amnesia, which means they have large gaps in their memory, especially related to traumatic events. For example, someone might not remember significant parts of their childhood if it was very stressful or traumatic.
Some examples of this type of dissociation can be feeling like you’re watching a movie about your life instead of actually living it. You might have times where you zone out and can’t remember what you did for the last several hours. Some people will say they find themselves holding a cup of coffee in their house, but they have no memory of making themselves coffee, and don’t know how long ago they did that.
The Link Between Trauma and Dissociation
When people go through something very scary or upsetting, like an accident or a big fight, their mind sometimes tries to protect them by making them feel like they aren’t really there or like it’s not really happening. This is called dissociation. It’s like a safety switch in the brain that helps them feel less scared or hurt at the moment by shutting off access to the full depth of what really happened.
Imagine you’re watching a really scary movie, and it’s too much to handle. You might close your eyes or look away to avoid seeing the scary parts. Dissociation is a bit like that, but it happens inside your mind. Your brain helps you "look away" from the scary or upsetting things by making you feel disconnected from the emotional impact of what happened. You might find that you can talk about something scary that happened to you, but in a intellectual “dry” way without any feelings. It may almost feel like you’re talking about something that happened to someone else.
Doing this can help people get through tough situations, but sometimes it can make them feel strange confused later on. You may not remember clearly the details of what happened, or find that some parts of what happened are fuzzy or hazy. What you do remember may not make sense because there are no emotions attached to what you remember.
Continuing Aftereffects of trauma
Dissociation can continue to affect someone long after a traumatic event has happened. Even after the traumatic event is over, your brain might make you feel like you’re weren’t really there, or like it didn’t really happen, to help you cope. In addition, certain sounds, smells, or sights can remind you of what happened, which can make your brain continue to dissociate so you can take a break from the intense feelings and memories. This means you might keep feeling disconnected, like you’re watching things from a distance or having trouble remembering parts of your past.
Many people who have experienced trauma dissociate without even realizing it. They might daydream a lot, lose track of time, or feel like they are living in a fog. These are signs of dissociation, which is the brain’s way of handling too much stress or danger.
Dissociation Makes Us More Anxious
In an ironic twist, dissociation helps us survive but also makes us feel more anxious and on edge in the long run. The most important thing for someone who has experienced trauma is to feel safe. However, when we are dissociating, we don’t have a good sense of the world around us, which subconsciously creates a sense of fear and constantly looking for danger.
Take for example someone who was robbed at gunpoint, and now dissociates. What they need the most in order to feel safe is to be aware of their surroundings so they can see if anyone who could be dangerous is around them, but if they are often dissociating, they may be zoning out often and not aware of their surroundings. Our body senses the lack of awareness that we have, and often compensates by increasing our anxiety in the hopes that the anxiety will get us out of our dissociation so we can become more aware of our environment.
What To Do If You Dissociate Often
Dissociation is one of the most complex mental health challenges that exist, and it’s important to know a number of things. First, it’s very difficult to heal dissociation by yourself. A big part of helping someone with dissociation is having someone who can support and help the person work through the trauma. Working on dissociation by yourself is similar to performing surgery on yourself.
Second, it’s very important to seek professional support from a qualified therapist. As mentioned above, dissociation is a complex mental health condition, and most therapist are not trained to treat dissociation. Even those therapists that are trained in trauma often are unable to help people with significant dissociation.
How to Find The Right Therapist
When finding a therapist to help you with dissociation it’s important to ask questions to make sure the therapist you will be working with is able to properly treat you. Some questions you may ask:
- How comfortable do you feel in treating dissociation?
- How often do you see clients who have dissociation?
- Have you done any specific training in treating dissociation?
Conclusion
If you resonate with some of the symptoms used above to describe dissociation, you might benefit from speaking with a therapist. Remember, dissociation is not a sign of weakness. It is a natural response to trauma, showing the brain’s attempt to protect itself. However, living with dissociation can interfere with daily life, making it hard to concentrate or connect with others.
If you are interested in therapy to help with dissociation, the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are one of a handful in the Greater Cincinnati area that are trained in and qualified to treat dissociation. Reach out today to get started.